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Today I will live for me. I will make the choice to live for me, even if it’s too much. It is time to pull one foot from the grave and place it firmly on this earth. If these magnificent creatures snoring around the room can survive the clear pain they have endured and still find the strength to go on, then so can I.
Not once have they hurt me like my father or the king. Not once have they rushed or pressured me. They do not expect anything but my company. I’m so very tired of being afraid. That will change. I’m still not completely sure if I want to live. That question lingers in the back of my mind, but I’m not scared of dying, so why not give into this life and give it a try? Here, I can be reborn. Here, I can be whatever I want to be.
Here, I am free.
After eating, they leave me to tend to the flames outside and check for any tracks. Taking a deep breath, I dress in the stolen pants I hemmed a few days ago, one of their shirts, and my shoes, and I roll my shoulders back with bravery I’m still not sure I really feel before I step outside.
They turn at the noise, their mouths twisting in worry.
I do not know what my expression is telling them, but as I stop before them, I tilt my chin up in determination. My hands shake, so I quickly hide them behind my back, straightening my spine as I do. “I want you to show me.”
“Show you?” Weyland replies slowly. “Show you what,bacca?”
“How to live,” I admit softly. “But for now, I want to see what you are capable of.”
If I know the truth, I won’t be as scared, or that was my logic during the night as my mind refused to shut down. I’m driven by the bravery Dade showed. If someone like him, who has lost everything, and can still trust and survive, then so can I.
I can be brave for them.
They share a hesitant look, clearly trying to decide if it’s a good idea. I stomp my foot and draw their gazes. “I don’t need you to coddle me. I know my own mind.” I soften my voice, knowing they are simply trying to protect me. “Please, I want to know you. I want to know everything. Can you show me?”
It’s clear they are still hesitant, but Kaito drops the trap he has in his hands and wipes them on his pants. “Weyland first,” he says as he watches me. “I will stay at her side in case it is too much.”
I know they lessen their monstrous traits around me. They are so careful, but I want them to be themselves. They shouldn’t have to hide it. I can either embrace all of them or none of them.
“If you are sure.” Weyland still looks wary, but as Kaito guides me to sit on the grass and takes my hand, I nod and wait.
Dade moves to the side to give Weyland space, and with a slow breath, he changes. Magic seems to swirl around him as he transforms. His arms become longer, and his legs become bowed. The fur on his body grows longer, and his snout extends to a wolf’s with huge, sharp teeth. A tail lashes the ground as his head falls back and he howls. When it stops, his eyes come to me, and I see the fear in his gaze.
Fear I will run. Fear I will reject him.
Standing, I move closer, even as I feel the others at my back. Weyland steps away, as if to escape my judgment, but I move closer once more. I raise my hand slowly, and when I go to touch his face, he flinches. Sadness fills me, but I keep my eyes on him as I stroke the softness of his fur.
“You’re beautiful. I did not know you could change forms,” I admit.
He dips his head slowly to give me better access, and I run my hand between his ears and scratch. His leg kicks out in a happy thump, making me giggle. How could I ever fear this?
It’s just Weyland, although a different side of him, and he is still the same man who sang me to sleep through my nightmares.
“Who’s a good boy?” I tease.
When I pull my hand away, he transforms back, and since I am so close, I feel the magic move across his body and almost stroke mine, making me gasp as something inside me seems to answer. He doesn’t appear to notice. Instead, he grins at me before tugging me to his side.
“Your turn, water boy,” Weyland goads, glancing over at Kaito.
I hold my breath and wait.
Chapter
Twenty
KAITO
There is not much of me that remains hidden from Kai. Unlike Weyland and Dade, I have no secondary form. I appear as what I am. But when Weyland goads me forward, I raise my brow and glance down to the woman at my side.
“I do not transform,” I tell her. “But I can show you part of what I’m capable of.”
Her eyes brighten, and the looks she gives me twists my insides into knots.I love her. Fuck, do I love her. It’s an instantaneous, emotional reaction. Seeing her healing oh so slowly makes a part of me want to sweep her inside the cabin and protect her from anything that may stop her progress. This moment, with her sitting outside with us all, wanting to see the more monstrous sides of us, shows me exactly what she’s capable of.
