AllFreeNovel
Share Us
I search his eyes. Though they are dark and deep, I see his honesty there. He’s open before me, bare, and I can’t stop myself. As the shadows swirl around us, I reach up to cup his face.
His eyes widen a fraction as I lean in and press my lips to his.
Chapter
Forty-One
KAI
Kissing Kaito is like kissing the ocean, like a gentle storm swallowing you and welcoming you home. Kissing Weyland is more like kissing the wild, like tangling with some feral creature held carefully in check. With Dade, it’s the same feeling as when I rode him, like my arms are open wide and I’m flying.
It feels like none of that with Rook.
Rook doesn’t move at first, as if he’s afraid to while my lips are pressed so softly against his. I need him. I need a piece of him to tuck into my heart and hold the darkness at bay. My monsters are healing me every single day and doing more for me than I realize. I’m awake now, more awake than I’ve ever been. I used to think I loved Merryl before the king took me. I thought that was love, but now I realize it was only the better option at the time. This feeling, this all-encompassing passion that’s awakening in me for my monsters, is what love is supposed to be. This love drunk desire to be near them, to talk to them, to hold them close is what everyone searches for.
For the first time, I wonder what would have happened if the king hadn’t taken me. Would I have leapt off the castle for Kaitoto find me? Would I be sitting here now with Rook, absorbed in the coolness of his shadows and the warmth of his body? Did I have to be broken to be whole again?
I’m starting to learn that those who are the most broken are the most beautiful.
When Rook’s surprise disappears and his lips begin to move, it washes away all my thoughts. His hand circles my head and grips my hair, and he deepens the kiss as he takes control. I keep my eyes open just in case my own shadows try to come barreling in, but Rook’s shadows seem to be the only ones able to slip inside.
Kissing Rook is like sinking into a pool of oil and welcoming those thick shadows into my soul as they wrap around me like a blanket. It’s the comfort of darkness, of my demons welcoming me home. As I kiss him, I let my mind drift. I let my fear and anxiety float away. There’s only Rook and me sitting in the midst of his shadows, our tongues tangling and my pussy throbbing. When his hand trails up my leg, pushing my dress up, I let him, knowing without a doubt who I’m here with. There’s no mistaking him for anyone else, not when his shadows hold me so carefully.
He breaks the kiss and drags his teeth along my jaw and down my neck. He kisses the pulse point there, making it flutter at the touch. He could tear my throat out, this boogeyman who scares other monsters, but he holds himself with a gentleness no human man could rival. It takes power to be so deadly and so gentle at the same time.
“Little oblivion,” he purrs against my skin. “I want nothing more than to make you scream your pleasure for all of the Dead Lands to hear.” His lips continue to kiss their way along my skin, and my hand finds its way into his hair to hold him to me. “But you are not ready for this.”
I tense and look down at him as he trails his lips across my shoulder. “I am.”
“I should not be your first among us,” he continues, his cool fingers trailing up my inner thigh. “I am no easy lover, but Kaito is, and Weyland will be. It should be one of them.”
Annoyance flares through me alongside my desire. I know they always wish to protect me, but I know my own mind, my own body.
“Don’t I get a choice?” I ask, my fingers digging into his scalp in punishment. “Shouldn’t I be the one who decides?”
“Yes,” he says, leaning back just enough to look into my eyes. “But I won’t just love you, little oblivion. I will rip you to shreds and stitch you back together again. I will unlock your memories, and your shadows will pour out to dance with mine. I will destroy you, then I will remake you, and I will expect nothing less.” He presses a kiss against my forehead. “You are strong and growing stronger every day. I want nothing more than to be selfish and sate myself with your body as I’ve imagined doing since I first saw you wrapped in your darkness, but you are not ready for me yet, and I won’t undo all your healing by pushing the matter.”
I stare at him before huffing. “Well . . . I suppose I understand.” I don’t want to take three steps back by pushing myself too far. I’ve yet to make love with any of them, and if Rook claims he shouldn’t be the first, then I should trust him. Still, I’m disappointed. My shoulders droop at the realization. “Okay,” I murmur. “I believe you.”
He chuckles. “Despite that, I would never leave you wanting, little oblivion.”
Frowning at him, I tilt my head. “But you just said—”
“I said I will not claim you.” He leans in and nuzzles my neck. “That doesn’t mean I can’t bring you pleasure.” His shadows wrap around me and press where I want his lips to be, startingto stroke me. “I won’t leave you to mourn the loss, little oblivion, but I will leave you yearning.”
The next brush of his shadows along my skin makes me arch my back as they stroke and push at my clothing, slipping beneath the edges. Rook’s strong arms encircle me and lay me down on the grass. He hovers over me, his eyes hungrily drinking me in as I begin to writhe beneath him. When his shadows curl around my nipples and tug, they harden until it’s almost painful, and I’m desperate for more. My fingers clench the grass, afraid to touch him in case he decides this is too much.
“Open your eyes, little oblivion,” he instructs, and when I do, he grins. “I want to see the way your pupils widen at your pleasure. I want to see how the irises darken as you come apart in my shadows.”
It takes everything inside me to keep them open, to focus on him. His shadows curl around me so completely, I don’t worry about the memories slamming back in. Still, I stay focused on him as the shadows stroke my skin. When the first shadows trail along my thighs, I forget to breathe. When they trace along my core, I forget to think.
“Rook,” I pant as the shadows spread my thighs apart, holding me hostage without holding me at all. I can stop this at any moment, but I don’t want to. I’m desperate for him, for his touch, and if I can’t have that, then his shadows are the next best thing.
“Kai,” he murmurs, his arousal written across his face. “Is this okay?”
I nod frantically as his shadows stroke along my entrance as he waits for permission. “Please,” is the only word I can get out between my pants.
He doesn’t touch me, and yet he does. He covers me in his essence, in his shadows, and I welcome him inside. It’s amuted version of him, but I understand that I’m not ready for everything he has to offer—not yet, but I will be.
