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She rose up on tiptoe to kiss him. “I’ll never forget the mean look on your face when you were in the truck yesterday. You weresomad I was there.”
He gave her a mock scowl. “I wasn’t mad, exactly. I was...feeling sorry for myself.”
“Because you’re used to getting what you want and didn’t think it was going to happen this time?”
He rested his forehead against hers. “Because I’m falling in love with you.” Those words slipped out so quickly, so easily and so unexpectedly that he caught his breath after he said them.
Her eyes widened. “You can’t mean that...”
He’d never made that declaration before, and yet he’d just done it with a woman who had such a strong fear of commitment he’d call it a phobia. What was wrong with him?
He considered taking the words back while he could, turning them into a joke or qualifying them in some way. But he felt how he felt. He’d dated enough women to know the difference. “I do,” he said. “I know you’re worried about what’s happened in the past and that it’ll happen again. But you’ve done all you can, Lu. You’ve warned me and warned me. I’ll take responsibility for myself from here on out.”
She shook her head. “You say that now...”
He gripped her shoulders. “I mean it. I want you badly enough to accept the risk. And that’s on me. So just...feel what you feel without holding back, at least forthatreason, and maybe one day you’ll be able to say those words tome.If not, it’s okay. I only want to hear them if you truly mean it.”
“It’s too soon. I—”
“I know. You’re in a difficult situation, and I’m sorry.” He tucked her head under his chin as he embraced her. “So don’t even think about it. Not today. Let’s just have fun while we’re together.”
He felt her chest rise as she drew a deep breath. “Okay...”
“What do you want to do?” he asked.
“I’m not sure. If we go out, Averil will see us—or someone who knows her will see us and then tell her. I’m not ready for that, either.”
“That’s only if we stay in Coyote Canyon.”
When the tension left her body, he knew she felt some relief. Out of town she wouldn’t have to worry about Averil or Charlie or anyone else. They could have the day together without any of those concerns, and Brant thought that was important. “Where should we go?” she asked.
“Why don’t we go to your sister’s? I haven’t seen a newborn in ages.”
“Debbie would love that,” she said. “And I’ve been meaning to get back over there.”
“Today’s the day, then.” He let go of her and jerked his head toward the bathroom, which was steaming up because he’d left the water running for so long. “Would you like to use the shower first, or do you want me to?”
He knew giving her the choice to shower on her own would probably surprise her. But he didn’t want to take anything for granted, didn’t want to make her feel smothered or cornered. If he’d learned anything in all his years of ranching, it was that any kind of creature reacted best to a kind, patient, slow hand. Now that Talulah knew how he felt, it was even more important he give her the opportunity to come to him on her own, or not at all, and trust that he’d accept her choice without blaming or mistreating her.
What she did next proved to be a good sign. Maybe it was a small one, but it was the kind of thing he hoped to see more of. She took his hand, kissed his palm in the very center and drew him into the bathroom with her. “Why do we have to take turns?”
The level of emotion Talulah felt whenever she made love with Brant was greater than she’d ever experienced before. And yet she was afraid to put a label on it. An “I love you” would be a big deal, especially now that Brant had declared himself. It would make everything mutual, which would naturally constitute a commitment and maybe even lead to a future together—or at least an attempt to achieve that.
She had to be careful. What they had was too new to rely on it, for one thing. And there was still so much standing between them.
Besides, what she’d felt for other men had worn off over time—as soon as they began to get serious. That always marked the beginning of the end, an end that probably should’ve come more quickly than it did. Instead of breaking up, however, she’d talk herself into trying to make it work so she wouldn’t disappoint anyone, which meant that by the time she bolted, she created even more damage.
Would her relationship with Brant go down a similar path?
The water pounded down in the shower, and the muscles in Brant’s shoulders stood out like thick ropes beneath her fingers as he lifted her in his arms. When he drove inside her, she was surprised that their connection felt so unique on an emotional level.
Except this was a terrible time and place to fall in love, so she’d be stupid to allow it. Brant was also a very inconvenient choice. Averil would hate her. Paul would hate her. The future of the diner would be uncertain.
Why couldn’t she make things easy and feel more for Paul?
After Brant reached climax, he dropped his head on her shoulder, trying to catch his breath, but he didn’t put her down. Reluctant to separate, they stayed wrapped up in each other’s arms for several minutes, with her back to the slick tile and her legs around his narrow hips. “Please know that I will always let you leave me, without any blame or anger,” he said. “I just hope it doesn’t go that way.”
She kissed his temple. But she didn’t dare say anything. Words created expectations; she’d learned that the hard way. She’d never meant to hurt anybody, but she especially didn’t want to hurt him.
