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“I’m nervous,” she admitted. “I’ve been so involved with my business for the past few years, I’ve had no social life. Other than sleeping with Paul once, a week ago, I haven’t been with anyone since my last fiancé as a kind of...self-imposed punishment.”
There was a lot to unpack in that statement. A long period of celibacy she attributed to a self-imposed punishment was one thing. The guy she’d mentioned she was starting a relationship with was her partner in the dessert diner, which seemed like an unnecessary risk to her business. But Brant was most interested in her use of the wordslast fiancé.
“How many have fiancés have you had?” he asked.
She frowned. “Three.”
He felt his eyebrows slide up. “And you’ve broken each engagement?”
“At the altar,” she admitted with a wince.
He gaped at her.“Like what you did to Charlie?”
“Something’s wrong with me,” she told him. “I get close and then I just...can’t go through with it. Why does everyone want to get married, anyway? It’s so permanent and...and terrifying. It ruins a good thing. Whenever I imagine saying ‘I do’ to that kind of lifelong commitment, I have such a terrible anxiety attack that I have no choice but to bolt.”
“No kidding?” he said. “So it wasn’t just Charlie.”
“No.”
He could tell she felt absolutely miserable about what she’d done. But the numbers were still shocking. “And you’re telling me this because...”
“You need to know. Before we...before we go any further. I realize you’re not interested in anything long-term, but I feel it’s only right to warn you.” She blinked quickly, evidence that she was tearing up. “I can’t stand the thought of hurting anyone else.”
“Then...why do you say yes to the men who propose to you?” he asked.
“I don’t know!” she replied. “Because I’m a pleaser, I guess. I have trouble saying no to the people I care about. With Charlie and Tim and Jason—they just kept at me until I finally gave in.”
“You didn’t learn your lesson with Charlie?”
“I was so young. And Tim and Jason came right after, when I was still too young, and promised it would be different with them. That I’d finally be happy to go through with it.”
“And they were wrong.Bothof them.”
“Yes.”
The reservations he’d had about her—the residual anger and outrage from fourteen years ago—melted into compassion. She seemed completely sincere, even traumatized by her own behavior. If shedidn’thave a guilty conscience, she wouldn’t have felt the need to make such a confession. She hadn’t left Charlie or anyone else at the altar because she was indifferent or callous. She’dtriedto give the men who’d asked her to marry them what they wanted.
“Well... You can relax.” He grinned. “I’m not even going to mention marriage.”
Instead of laughing at his response, she seemed genuinely relieved. “Okay. That sounds good. You have a concussion, anyway, so you’ll probably forget all about this in the morning.”
He brought her naked body up against his, groaning as her soft breasts came into contact with his bare chest. “That would be tragic. I hope I won’t forget a second of it,” he said and bent his head to kiss her.
Talulah’s heart began to pound even harder as Brant’s lips met hers. She’d made fun of her sister and every other woman she knew who’d ever dreamed of kissing him—and here she was kissing him herself. But he was so good at physical intimacy that she couldn’t regret taking advantage of the opportunity. His lips were firm yet pliable, his hand came up to brace the back of her head, and he didn’t immediately overpower her and invade her mouth with a greedy tongue. His kiss was restrained, respectful and delicious all at the same time.
To her surprise, and probably his, too, she caught his face in her hands and was the first to take the kiss deeper.
When he obliged and added more intensity, she thought, Thisis what a kiss should be like, and hated that she immediately compared Brant to Paul and found Paul wanting.
Paul is a good man, she reminded herself and tried to shove him out of her mind. She wasn’t going to ruin this by thinking about anyone or anything except Brant. By warning him of her past, she’d set herself free. It wasn’t that she believed she had to worry he’d fall in love with her. She suspected he was probably as incapable of commitment as she was. She’d been honest for her own peace of mind, and she was glad she’d said what she had. Now she could cast off her fears and inhibitions, let loose for one night and simply enjoy Brant.
“Wow,” he said on a long breath and looked slightly dazed as he stared down at her.
“What is it?” she asked.
“I just...” He gave his head a slight shake. “This is going to be even better than I thought,” he said and the next kiss proved to be as carefully crafted and perfectly executed as the first.
“It’s the little things,” she said.
