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But all I can think about now as I sit in the passenger seat of Charlie’s car, driving that same road, is that maybe hoping for a lifetime with her was asking a little too much.
Exceptional circumstance.
That’s what this is.
What was granted by a judge, thanks to the man at my side, to allow me a chance to say goodbye.
“The lights are out,” Charlie mutters, staring up through the windscreen at the house, oblivious to the pain lacing my chest and throat. “I should have called her. Warned her we were coming.”
I keep my head on the rest, staring straight ahead.
I killed a man.
Watched Scarlet lose him right in front of my eyes as she fought with everything she had to save him.
After a few minutes of silence, Charlie sighs. “You’ll regret it if you don’t do this.” I feel his eyes on me. “Get out of the car, Sullivan.”
I look at him, barely concealing my emotions, begging him to just drive us away.
“Think abouther,” he snaps.
I look toward the meadow, my jaw tight as I frown.
“Think about the weeks, months, and years that she’s about to face and then get the fuck out of the car and say goodbye. You don’t get to let her down, and I sure as shit won’t sit here and let you.”
I pull open the door and climb out, hating that the first thing I smell is the wildflowers. Hating that I might forget it.
“You’ve got half an hour.”
I shut the door with a thud and make my way across the drive, heading toward the first field.
I know exactly where I’ll find her.
It’s the same place I fell in love with her.
My feet trudge through the fallen flowers, a path formed from her own footsteps.
Scarlet’s sat on the hill, her back to the house. The sun. Her parents.
Me.
I stop when I’m a few feet away, staring at her. Not knowing how I’m supposed to say goodbye. Not wanting to.
“Why does it feel like every time I have you in my grasp, you slip right through my fingers, Lance?” I inhale sharply, setting my face to stone before she can turn her head. When she does, my world stops. “I didn’t think you’d come.”
Her eyes are red-rimmed, the skin around them puffy and raw.
I wish I’d never met her.
I’d do anything to go back and undo everything we ever were.
All I’ve done. The hurt and suffering.
Anything to take that look off her face.
I take a step forward, and she quickly stands, her face getting more and more distorted the closer I get. I close my eyes as she hurtles into my arms, knocking me back a step. I daringly breathe her in. Allowing myself to feel her one last time.
“Lance,” she whispers, her voice breaking as she cries. I peel open my eyes, dropping my forehead to hers. “I don’t want you to go.”
