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I ground my teeth, my nostrils flaring. “I’m so fucking sorry, Scarlet.”
“Please, don’t leave me.”
“Baby,” I beg. Because listening to her begmemight just finish me.
“You said—” She sniffs, her sobs making her body jolt. “You said you wouldn’t leave me. Wouldn’t disappear on me. You promised.”
“I have to, Scar….” I swallow hard, but a tear falls down my face. And I finally give in to them, letting them fall with us. “I have to.”
“I don’t want you to—I don’t want to be alone.”
I shake my head, lips brushing hers as her fingers knot in my shirt. She holds me so fucking tight. “I’m so sorry.”
“You can’t leave me,” she weeps.
I stagger back, and she steps with me, my hands wrapping around her.
I’d rather die.
I’d rather die than put her through this.
I grasp her face, wiping away the tears from her cheeks. I hold her just as fiercely as she does me. “When the sun sets, and you start to forget me, remember every moment you fell in love with me in this meadow. Please, baby.” The lump in my throat threatens to give completely, but I force back the burn as I lean in and gently kiss her lips. “Remember me. Because I will never forget you,” I whisper.
Her face screws up in pain. “I could never… I could never forget you, Lance.”
I shake my head, eyes a blur of unshed tears. “Don’t be afraid.”
She lets out a sob, sagging against my body. I take her weight, sinking to the wildflowers with her in my arms.
“You’re going to be okay, Scar. You’re going to wake up and carry on tomorrow. Carry on loving all the little things that everyone else takes for granted. The very things I love about you. You’re going to keep studying and become a doctor, you’re going to be amazing, and I’m so proud of everything you are and will be.” I take a breath and steady my voice as I tell her, “No matter what it takes, no matter what you have to do, you do it, okay? You keep dreaming your dreams even when the sun’s gone down. You don’t be afraid, and you don’t give in to the darkness. You’re going to be amazing, Scar. And I promise it’s going to be okay.”
I keep her in my arms for longer than I should as she cries.
Longer than Charlie told me I had.
Slowly her sadness seeps into me, taking root as her body tires. And when she eventually goes limp in my arms, I lift her, carrying her the rest of the way home. One last time.
I lay her on the bed in her dimly lit room, not able to say or do anything else before I turn and leave.
I climb into the car and stare through the windscreen at the meadow, her mother’s garden, the house… the house where she once again lies alone.
After a while, Charlie circles the drive and coasts down the lane. I let the tears brimming my eyes fall. “I’ve sorted everything, Sullivan….” He clears his throat, his voice thick with emotion. “We’ll look after her.”
I could never forget you, Lance.
But she will. I’ll make sure of it.
To be continued…
