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Scarlet
I lie on my side, tracing Waverley’s name that’s etched on the inside of Lance’s bicep. Lance is lay on his back, his wide chest rising and falling in a gentle motion. “Did you ever think about what your children might be called?”
He opens his eyes, dropping his head to his pillow to look at me. “I never believed I’d have kids. My mum and dad put me off for a lifetime.”
I huff a laugh, curling my hand around his neck and pulling myself closer to lie nose to nose. “I used to think about it all the time. I saw myself with lots of children. A house full.”
“And you had names for all of them?”
“I had a list.” I grin at him, and he stares at my mouth, as if memorising it. “It’s probably at home somewhere.”
He takes my hand, linking our fingers despite how close we already are. “Why’d you even ask?”
My stomach coils tight, the image of his strong body on top of mine, thrusting into me. I flick my eyes up to his. “We didn’t use a condom.”
“And so you’re asking me if I know what I’d call my kids?”
I chuckle, not realising how creepy it sounds.
“That’s me level crazy, Scarlet,” he says. “I’m almost proud.”
I squeeze his hand, leaning into him. “Stop. I obviously started atShit, we didn’t use a condomand then ended up atI wonder if Lance ever had baby names picked out. There was a whole ton of overthink in between.”
“Sure, sunshine. I’m surprised you didn’t lie with your legs in the air for ten minutes after.”
I can’t help the silly giggle that leaves me. “What do you know about it?” I tease.
“Enough.” He twists our legs together. “Now, tell me these names.”
“I don’t even remember them.” I try to ease the adrenaline rushing through me. “And I don’t want any more children.”
He narrows his eyes on me, his voice softer when he asks, “Will you tell me why?”
“Because…” The memory of the screen at my face, the lack of feeling as they cut into me. I’ll never forget that day. How I felt. The sense of loss. “The day Ave wasbornshould have been the best day of my life. But do you know how many times I’ve told someone that the day she wastakenfrom me was the worst. It wasn’t happy or exciting or special. It was tragic. It defined the twelve months of our lives that followed. I’ll never put myself or anyone else in a position to go through that again.”
First, I lost Mum. And then Mase. My best friend—my dad. The love of my life—Lance. And my sweet baby who never gave up on me even when I gave up on us both—Ave.
Coldness seals around my heart like a locket, sizzling away at the burning heat Lance put there only minutes ago.
God, I can’t do that again.
“Hey.” He takes my chin, forcing my eyes up. “Hey, don’t do that. You don’t want any more kids, I’m good. You want ten then I’ll give you eleven. But don’t shut me out. Please, Scar. You promised me tonight.”
I see the plea shining back at me in his eyes along with understanding. And sorrow. And regret.
“Lance, for a man who’s known such little love, you sure know how to give it.” I turn into his touch, kissing his palm. “I hope one day you let more than just me see the man you are. You’d surprise a few.”
“I don’t care about anyone else. Just you and Waverley.”
“Why do you only call her by her full name? There isn’t anyone who uses it anymore.”
“Ave doesn’t mean a thing to me. Waverley means the world.”
I nod, lost in his eyes. “I’d hate it if anyone else used it now,” I whisper in a daze. “It’s her name, and I’d hate it.”
“Don’t try to make sense of it. It’s okay to be a little crazy over the things that mean something to you.” He kisses my neck. “I revel in it whenever I’m near you.”
“Hmm.” I let his lips roam to my jaw, nipping and sucking, before guiding his head up so I can look at him again. At his eyes. “You look tired, Lance.”
