AllFreeNovel
Share Us
And she won’t be.
Because I won’t let her.
ONE
Lance
Itook a life once. A single gunshot wound to the chest, and I managed to destroy not only my life but the lives of everyone I loved most. Not a day goes by where I don’t regret my actions that morning seven years ago. And although they now call me a free man, I don’t believe I’ll ever escape the guilt and shame that slowly, year after year, has embedded within me.
I wear it now. Too afraid to take it off at the risk of feeling something I shouldn’t.
I found a semblance of peace in my mistakes. My wrongdoings. And the only reason I decided to make the ride out to Lowerwick Estate today is to make sure that she found hers.
I pick up speed as each memory flashes in my mind. Memories that probably should’ve faded—details lost and jaded at the edges—yet never did.
I remember every second of time spent with Scarlet Lowell. Maybe even imagined my memories so often, so desperately in moments of fear, they transpired into something else entirely.
It was love.
I don’t doubt it was love.
No amount of time or delusion can convince me otherwise.
My bike roars as I cross the cattle grid and take to the lane, the trees a blur as I pass. I swallow the tightness in my throat, keeping my eyes forward, knowing I can’t let myself look. Can’t let myself see the meadow or the hill or the trees lining the boundary. I know they’ve grown. A reminder of time lost that I can’t bear to think about, let alone see.
Seven years isn’t just a long time—her love taught me that—it’s birthdays, adventures, graduations,love, and pain. It’s freedom—all missed.
The trees in the meadow won’t be the only thing that’s changed, and no matter how much it felt like the world started and ended with Scarlet, it didn’t. It kept spinning.
The sun slowly sets on the horizon, casting a pink glare beyond my visor. As I break through the trees, and the house comes into view, I steady my jaw and pray to anyone listening that I have the guts to follow through with this.
Pray to anyone who’s fucking listening that she’s happy.
Like a beacon, Scarlet stands atop the terrace watching me, her hand clenched to her chest as if she’s in pain. My body seems to fight the urge to breathe, my next breath caught, suppressing the emotions swelling in my throat.
Her hand lifts to shield her eyes from the sun, and I frown, wondering if this is a mistake. If maybe seeing me is the last thing she wants or needs.
If maybe seeing her is the last thing I really want or need.
Pain, a deep crippling ache, uproots my veins and pumps through my entire body, all the way to the tips of my fingers.
She’s everything.
She’s fucking everything and all I’ve ever known, and I can’t take my eyes off her as I roll to a stop on the gravel.
I’ve dreamed of this moment. How I’d see her, take in every detail of her face, and never let myself forget again.
I watch as her mouth parts to say something and realise even after seven years, it’s still there, that wild thump of my heart that only she has ever given me.
She’s wearing a look of shock, but the anger, pain—hate even—it’s all there. And I expected it.
Snapping out of my trance, I remove my helmet and get off the bike. Her eyes don’t leave me, making my mouth go dry. I work on a swallow and frown up at her on the terrace.
“Scarlet…”
Her eyes close, her face screwing up. And it hits me again—the roaring ache inside of me. “Why are you here?” she asks.
With my focus solely on her, I take a step forward. My legs tremble as I stand, trying to say what needs to be said. “I felt maybe we needed some closure.”
