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No. No. No.
I hear her come closer and drag my hands away, turning on the bed and climbing from the opposite side before she can settle on the mattress. I stagger on my leg, but I don’t feel it. I don’t feel a thing but the inability to breathe. “I’m fine.”
She watches me like I’m a skittish animal ready to bolt.
“I’m fine. I just need a minute,” I repeat, the words ragged.
“You want me to go?”
I stare at her. Searching for the answer I know I should give.
Tell her yes.
Tell her to go.
“Let me get the shower.” She sets off around the room, keeping a wide berth this time.
I stand stock still as I try to control my breathing, my lungs feeling five times smaller than they should be.
Lifting my hand, I see it trembling. I shake it out, clenching my fists in an effort to hide it.
I need her gone.
Far, far away from me.
I can’t have her see me like this.
I know my body is betraying me, my knees threatening to give.
I don’t dare take a step toward the bathroom.
I can’t.
How do I even hide that from her?
Why is she in here?
“Lance.” I look up, finding her standing in front of me. “Should I go?”
I manage a nod. “Go.”
She steps back, uncertainty making her feet featherlight against the floorboards. “If you need me… just get one of us, okay?” Her eyes are riveted on me, assessing—terrified.
I’ve scared her.
I let my eyes drift closed as she turns and walks from the room.
Scarlet
Every step around the kitchen feels forced, my whole chest screaming at me to go to him. To check on him.
He told me to leave him.
He wanted to be alone.
What could I have even done for him if I had stayed?
“Is the table laid?” Mason asks.
