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Savannah
It’s been six weeks of awkwardness since Noah and I ran into each other in the hallway, both half naked and me a little past tipsy. Almost out of a sense of guilt, and definitely embarrassment, I’ve been trying to avoid both him and Sutton.
Of course my plan has been in vain because of Alex. On a handful of occasions the four of us—Sutton, Noah, Alex and I—have been out to the clubs around the city. Alex has invited them every time.
What makes all of this worse is that I really like Sutton. She’s been so welcoming and easy to talk to. But a seed of guilt has been blossoming inside of me over that night. And no matter what I do, it won’t go away.
I shrug into my gray zip up hoodie as I walk through the apartment from my bedroom. Tonight, I’m going to relax with my friends and forget about everything that’s been making me feel anything but fantastic lately.
The front door opens and I consider for a second darting back to my room. It can only be one of two people and I’d rather not see either of them right now.
This is no way to live, avoiding the people I share an apartment with.
Sutton walks in, closing the door behind her, oblivious to my presence. She places her bag in the closet next to the door, and shrugs out of her jacket, hanging it on one of the hooks. When she turns, a soft smile spreads across her face as her gaze lands on me. “Hey. I feel like I haven’t seen you in ages. How are you?”
I move to the table on the opposite side of the door and swipe up my keys before turning toward her. “I’m great, just working a lot. How are you?”
The smile drops from her face and she looks away. I watch, fascinated, as she seems to shrug off the cloud that coated her and straighten her spine.
Ignoring my question, Sutton tilts her head taking in my burgundy oversized sweats and white t-shirt. “Are you going out?”
“Oh.” I look down at my outfit before continuing, “Yeah, just to Alex’s. Meghan and Ben are coming over too and we’re gonna put on a movie.”
Sutton looks away, a wistful smile on her face as she closes her eyes, before returning her gaze to me and replying, “That sounds like a nice evening. Have fun.”
She goes to walk away but gets no further than a couple of steps when I say, “Did you, maybe, want to come? We’re gonna order takeout and do some face masks.”
I’m gonna regret this.
But I can’t not invite her. It feels like I owe her, not just for accepting me into her home without any anger—because she had every right to be mad about that—but also because of what happened six weeks ago.
Briefly, I wonder if Noah told her about what I’ve been referring to as ‘the incident’, but I almost immediately dismiss the thought. He probably thought it was so insignificant that it didn’t warrant telling Sutton. And anyway, I’m fairly certain that he couldn’t see anything. Not really.
A genuinely big smile takes over Sutton’s face. “I would love to. Just let me get changed.”
Sutton walks away toward her bedroom, the sound of her shoes on the floor growing quieter with each step she takes. I listen intently until the only noise filling the space is the sound of the air leaving my lungs.
How can I spend the evening with Sutton when I haven’t been honest with her?
Honest about what exactly?
About how in love with her boyfriend I still am? That the feelings he stirred in me when I was seventeen are the same, if not amplified now?
This is why it’s better that I don’t spend time with either of them.
It’s so much easier to forget everything when you aren’t being mocked by the constant reminder. Whether that be the amazing woman he’s chosen to make his or the way he looks at me like I’m nothing more than a friend.
My phone vibrates in my hand, pulling me out of my spiraling thoughts. I flip the screen over, reading the message from Alex.
Alex
Hurry up, Savannah!
We’re going to order the food. Still up for pizza?
Savannah
I’m coming. And I’m bringing Sutton.
