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Instead, Ishir let it go.
“Okay,” he said and meant it. He rolled off the bed, away from the nest of their combined scents. “I take first shower, though.”
“Deal.”
And that was that.
**********
It wasn’t that this thing with Zee was getting to him. It was just that it made him more aware than ever of how tiring it was to keep secrets.
Ishir had never seriously considered coming out. The thought had utterly terrified him during his teenage years when everything was about conforming, about being part of a whole.
That old fear was knocked off its feet the previous year after Orion had been outed as an Omega. Watching his captain weather the storm that followed, how he rose to the challenge and never backed down, was inspiring.
Like a fairy tale, it had resulted in Orion getting his guy—the person he’d had to leave behind when he was little more than a kid for fear of his secret getting out. It was poetic how being himself resulted in getting what he had always wanted.
Ishir knew it’d been tough for Orion—opposing players chirping him on the ice, the media being dickish. But…it seemed to be worth it, and it wasn’t as if Ishir was scared of hard work to get results.
Ishir sat in the kitchen of Orion’s new apartment, the one he now shared with Gabby. It was spacious and sunny, especially for being located in Brooklyn, equipped with white marble counters and sleek cabinets, fancy appliances everywhere. There was a popcorn maker tucked by the stove, a large expresso machine by the sink, what looked like a yoghurt maker off to the side.
“Do you even use that stuff?” Ishir asked, pointing.
“Gabby, mostly. He actually makes really good yoghurt. Let me get you some, it has protein powder or something.”
“Okay.” He watched Orion prepare him a bowl.
“Homemade jam, too,” Orion boasted as he placed the bowl in front of him.
“Whoareyou?” Ishir laughed.
“It’s all Gabby.”
“What the hell? I seriously never would have guessed.”
Orion shrugged, clearly pleased. “He’s a great cook.”
“No, yeah, I can see you packing on the pounds.”
Orion flexed his arm dramatically, making Ishir chortle again.
Orion watched him eat in silence for a while as Ishir tried to gather the courage to say what he wanted to say. Orion didn’t push, appearing as calm and collected as ever, tilted back on his seat and looking politely inquisitive.
Ishir swallowed the last spoonful of his treat. Played with the cutlery. Took a sip of water. Opened his mouth.
“I’m gay.” His heart pounded as soon as the words were out of his mouth. It wasn’t that he thought Orion would react badly, but the confession always made him dizzy with panic.
“Oh,” Orion said, surprised, but the emotion dissipated quickly. “Right, yeah, that makes—I mean, thanks for telling me.”
Ishir started ripping up a napkin. “Yeah.”
“Is someone giving you trouble?”
“No, no,” Ishir assured. “I mean, not a lot of people know. On the team, it’s just Zee and Bergy.”
“And you and Zee are…?”
Why did everybody assume that? “No. I mean…no.” That wasn’t something he was going to be explaining to Orion.
