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Orion rolled his eyes. “I’m literally mated.”
“Yeah, to aHound.”
“A hound hung like a ho—”
The table erupted in protests, Ishir laughing along, feeling lighter than he had in weeks.
He finished his truthfulness tour with Bergy—he already knew Ishir was gay, but there were other admissions Ishir had to make.
Ishir invited himself over for lunch at his house, Bergy welcoming him easily.
“You good?” Bergy asked as they ate, sitting at the kitchen counter.
“Yeah. I just wanted to apologise for being absent these past few months. I know we used to hang out more.”
Bergy shrugged. “You’ve made time for me. It’s normal to hang out less now that you’re living with Zee. He’s a fucking guard dog, that one.”
“Yeah, well. About that…”
He told Bergy the same version he’d shared with Olive.
Bergy didn’t seem particularly surprised by the news, but his blond eyebrows creased with concern. “Damn. That’s…a lot.”
“Yeah.”
“So you’ve broken it off?”
“Yeah.”
“That explains a lot. Zee’s been miserable,” Bergy mused.
Ishir winced. Things had been strained between him and Zee. When they weren’t at the rink, Ishir spent most of his time out or in his room, avoiding the common areas of their apartment. They still clicked during games, coming together after their line scored a goal, but there was no more easy banter during practice or in the locker room. “Has it been bad? Have the guys noticed?”
“Uh, yeah, man. Everyone’s noticed. But you guys aren’t being nasty, and you’re still good on the ice, so no one’s gonna say anything.”
Ishir rubbed his jaw. “I don’t wanna be a distraction or anything. And it’s not like we’re fighting or something. It just…” It just hurt.
He could feel Zee’s eyes on him often, especially at home. Every time Ishir left his room, there Zee was, sitting on the couch forlornly, perking up at Ishir’s presence.
Ishir didn’t mean to harm him. He was just tooraw. It hurt to be near Zee, to know that his friend was fully aware of how he felt but unable to reciprocate.
It was almost worse that Zee was so respectful. He was giving Ishir space to work through it, waiting in the periphery until Ishir returned.
“I get it,” Bergy said. “I mean, Jesus—you spent hisrutwith him?”
Ishir grimaced. “Yeah.”
“Honestly, I don’t really understand what the problem is. You’re absolutely sure Zee doesn’t wanna be in a relationship with you? Because he seems one moment away from biting you, man. For real. If he could piss on you, he’d do it a thousand times over.”
“Yeah, well, I told him I loved him, and his response was, ‘Let’s be friends.’”
Bergy shook his head incredulously. “That blows my mind. I don’t get why he acts the way he does for months, and then when he gets the chance to lock you down, he bails? Something isn’t adding up.”
“I don’t know, man. I’m not really in a position to second-guess what he’s literally telling me. Whatever the issue is—whether he doesn’t feel like that towards me, or it’s something else—it’s a good enough reason for him not to want to be with me, so. Does it even matter what it is? He’s not willing to work through it, and I’m not gonna beg someone to love me back. Not even him.”
“Fair enough, man. I get you. Well, if you need a place to stay or something, you know my doors are always open. Maybe taking a break from being in your apartment will do you some good.”
Ishir sighed. That didn’t sound like such a bad idea.
