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“Yeah. They’re power-washing the façade of the building in front of mine at like six in the morning, it’s hell.” The lie just slipped out of him from nowhere, like he’d somehow thought it up in preparation without realising.
“What? That’s insane. Why is New York like this?”
“I know. Like, take a break.”
“Take a nap, Brooklyn.”
“Motherfucking right,” Leo said as they finally moved into the living room.
Damon appeared from the kitchen. As tense and serious-looking as he’d been during that first meeting—like he didn’t know Leo at all. “Hey. Good to see you.”
“Yeah, same. You good?” Leo asked, fighting the impulse to jump on him, to wipe that closed-off expression off his face with a kiss.
“Yeah. You?”
“Yeah.”
They stood there for a moment before Josh flopped onto the couch. “Okay, you guys gonna cuddle me or what?”
The moment broke somewhat, but Leo didn’t miss how Damon didn’t really touch him even when they cuddled on the bed. Josh stayed in the middle, nuzzling Leo’s neck as his scent started thickening, and Leo and Damon didn’t kiss how they normally would. Didn’t look at each other.
When the heat really hit, Josh became even clingier than usual, whining when Leo tried to move away. The thing was, though, it quickly became apparent that there was absolutely no need for Leo to be there.
Josh reached for Leo as he moved away to undress, Damon soothing him with a kiss, and the couple became lost in each other. Leo stretched out on the mattress, watching as Josh climbed on top of Damon, rising on his knees and dropping onto Damon’s dick all at once.
Heat fizzed inside Leo at the way Josh and Damon moaned in tandem, at the way they started moving together, rhythm practised and seamless. And under that carbonated feeling of want was the oily, heavy sadness coating his tongue and making him sick with it.
Leo kissed Josh when Damon knotted him, stroking his back, but he could tell Josh didn’t need another round when Damon slipped out of him. Leo knotted him too, both because he wanted to and because Josh was asking, going slow, savouring the feel of Josh on him, around him, kissing him desperately.
He tried to sear everything in his mind. The sweat trailing down Josh’s collarbone, the way he would clutch Leo close, the feel of his smooth skin and wanting pants. The amazing sensation of being touched and not wanting to crawl right out of his skin.
There was no urgency to it this time. Josh settled even after Leo’s knot went down, sliding between him and Damon and resting.
Leo tried to think of nothing as he closed his eyes and forced himself to sleep.
***
The heat barely lasted three days, the last half dozen hours mild enough to fuck only if they wanted to.
It broke completely as they watched something on the TV, all of them tangled up on the couch.
Josh stretched against them, grinning. “Well, that was easy.”
Damon beamed at him. “You feel good?”
“I feel great. That was…”
Leo watched as Damon squeezed Josh tightly, laughing into Josh’s mouth as they kissed. Leo sat up, thankful that he’d put on some underwear before they moved to the living room.
“I’m so happy for you guys,” Leo said when the couple broke apart.
They both turned to look at him, smiles lighting up their faces. “This is awesome,” Josh cheered.
Leo smiled back, genuinely glad that Josh was going to be okay, even if it meant… “Guess you guys don’t need me anymore, huh?”
Josh and Damon’s expressions froze on their faces oddly, as though they hadn’t expected that, but they must have talked about it, planned for it. Maybe not so soon, but Leo had come to the realisation that he just couldn’t fucking do this again. Couldn’t smile and kiss them and feel wanted without being worthy of any of it.
Because all this? It wasn’t reality. It was just a nice fantasy the three of them had cooked up.
