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“I mean…” Josh trailed off.
Leo shrugged. “I know the sessions are expensive, and you’re not paying for much now.”
They just stared at him as if he wasn’t making any sense. They said nothing, though, barely moving.
Leo felt himself babbling, desperate to fill the space. “It’s been great hanging with you guys, though. Fuck yes to this treatment, huh? You guys must be relieved to get your bed to yourself.” A weird laugh left his mouth.
There was just…silence. Josh and Damon kept looking at him and Leo kept just sitting there, feeling worse and worse, wanting to curl up and disappear so he didn’t have to be perceived anymore.
“Okay, well,” Leo choked out. “I should go. I’ll tell the agency what time I left so they don’t charge you for the extra hours.”
He stood up, Josh and Damon finally moving, Josh reaching up to stop him. “Wait, Leo.”
Leo paused, looking down at them, trying to breathe through the strange feeling sloshing inside him. Like seasickness and longing, a boat drifting away from land.
“Yeah?” Leo asked.
Josh just stared at him, opening and closing his mouth. “We…” he started, but it went nowhere.
Leo nodded. “It’s all good. You need me for anything else?”
Josh deflated against Damon, turning away. “You can go if you want to.”
What I want has nothing to do with this, Leo thought even as he nodded.
He walked to the bedroom, putting his clothes on numbly.
Sometimes, doing the right thing felt like this—like he was drowning, like he was lost. There was no point in dragging out something that was going to break his heart eventually.
This wasn’t where he belonged.
NINE
Usually,Leocouldsmileand nod whenever Lilo started in on his ‘why can’t we be boyfriends?’ monologue. Leo would flutter his eyelashes and sidle up to him and defuse the situation easily.
Now, though, lying on the bed with sweat sticky on his skin, he felt a million miles away.
“Like, our chemistry is off the charts. It’s practically a crime against nature not to be together, don’t you think?” Lilo said, stroking Leo’s cheek.
Leo blinked at him slowly, mind totally blank. Luckily, Lilo didn’t seem to need any input from him.
“We should grab dinner. No agency in the way, no money. We could be something real. I’ll book Summernight—the hottest restaurant in the village. You wear that blue suit of yours. How does Friday sound? Come on, baby, we could—”
“Stop.” The word was out of Leo’s mouth before he realised what he was doing.
Lilo’s hand froze as he frowned at him with a mildly confused expression. “What?”
“Just…stop.” Leo could fucking feel it happen like he was watching it from far away—a dam cracking, water roaring to get out.
“What do you mean, stop? Stop what?”
“Stop talking.” Leo sat up, rolling out of bed, glad his discarded clothes were close by. His heart was pounding, mouth dry. “I don’t want to go to dinner with you. We don’t have good chemistry. I’m here because you’ve paid me to be here, and it’s rude to assume more because of it.”
Lilo had straightened up too, confusion turning into anger. “So all of that was a lie? Wow. And here I thought you were more than a slut begging to be fucked.”
Leo pulled his sweater over his head, glaring at Lilo. “I’m a sex worker you paid to fuck. The only one begging here is you.”
Leo didn’t wait for a response, practically running to the door, shoving his feet into his shoes and yanking his coat out of the hallway closet.
