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“You find that with someone?” I asked.
“Not that exactly, but something. I dunno. Still trying to figure it out.” He looked a bit shy.
“Look, Xav,” I sighed. “If you’d have asked me a year and a half ago if this is how I’d feel about that fuck up in there, I’d have killed you for even suggesting it. All I know is that I’m grateful Dad made me hate Devon when we were kids because it led to this. Life is messed up and it ain’t always pretty, but sometimes it works out alright, yeah?”
“Yeah,” he said, smiling. “Speaking of fucked up, Dad’s been around.”
“Okay, so we’re just breezing by that comment about you maybe finding someone?” I raised a brow.
“Yeah, for now,” he laughed. “I’ll tell you when I figure it out.”
I gulped cool coffee. “Dad was at Mom’s last night before I went to the fair. She was all dressed up, and he pretty much called me gay and then warned me that Jim was sniffing around. What’s his deal?”
Xavi leaned back. “I don’t know. I don’t trust him, but he showed up at the shop the other night and gave me his old set of tools. Dad said I’d get more use out of them than he would, and it felt real. Genuine or something. Not a trick this time, but we’ve been tricked too many times to believe it.”
“This isn’t the first time he’s tried to play nice just to take something from us. We’re too old for this shit now.”
“Yeah, but Mom isn’t. She still loves his broke ass even if she hates him, too.”
True. No matter how old we got or how many times our mom messed up by drinking, taking too many pills, or letting our dad back in, she’d still be our mom and we’d always look out for her. It was some fundamental rule of being a son, and our mom, while a useless tit most of the time, had never actually done anything to harm us intentionally.
Our dad had, though. A part of me wanted to blame that on addiction. I wanted to write his behaviour off as the drugs and the stress and tell myself he was a better person while clean. But when had he ever been sober and stayed clean long enough for us to actually learn who he was? Never. Not in my memories, at least.
“He seems…”
“Sober,” Xavi said, voicing my thoughts. “Don’t get your hopes up yet, though. What’d he say about Jim?”
“Something about him being at the Park building and asking about this lot.” I finished my coffee and grabbed a danish from the container.
“If Jim comes around here, I’ll kill him myself,” Xavi said. “Okay, maybe not, but I’d want to. Nate’s been ignoring him. Devon?”
“Devon’s a dumbass who can’t let it go. He’s been following Jim around, checking on him while keeping his distance.” And I hated it. Yeah, it was advantageous to know where Jim was and what he was up to, but I didn’t like Devon being anywhere near him. Plus, Devon was a softy and something told me he worried a bit about his dad.
“Well, keep an eye on him. Don’t let him get hurt again,” Xavi warned and I nodded, not needing advice on taking care of my boyfriend, thank you. “They lucked out with Mary being able to take in their mom like that. If her daughter hadn’t moved out, she’d be living with us at the shop. So don’t let Devon mess anything up. Things are finally settled.”
Were they? Jim got out of prison, and he might not have done anything yet, but I had a feeling it was coming. He held a grudge like a motherfucker and he wasn’t one to let his sons one-up him, so sooner or later, that old bastard would come crashing back into our lives, and I needed to be ready for it.
So, I said the only thing I truly felt. “If anyone is going to fuck with Devon, it’ll be me.” I took another bite of the pastry, feeling better to have something in my stomach.
Xavi laughed, the tone of the conversation lightening. “Yeah, I’m still not convinced you didn’t kill him last night.”
I groaned in embarrassment, hating how ridiculous I’d been last night. If I ever got drugged like that again, I hoped it wasn’t alone. That way, I wouldn’t be the only one making a fool of myself. “He’ll be fine.”
“It was that blond guy you work with, eh?”
“What?” I gasped. “Tom? No way. He’s way too timid for that.”
“Jeff thinks it was him, but I don’t know.” Xavi shrugged. If it was Tom, it had to be an accident. No, I couldn’t believe it because there was nothing he could have possibly gained from drugging me. He wasn’t even gay.
It felt good to spend the morning shooting the shit with my brother. We hadn’t spent as much time together lately because life liked to get in the way of everything. Nate showed up some time later. He checked on Devon just like my brother had, and proceeded to grill me about everything I’d said last night.
Like fuck I’d explain flip fucking again. Jesus.
When Devon finally woke up and zombie-walked to the deck in a pair of sweats, he demanded I make him a whole pot of coffee. I laughed, stood up, and tried to massage his muscles, but he pushed me away and told me I was banned from touching him for at least twenty-four hours.
Something fluttery but comfortable happened in my chest. I wasn’t one to make assumptions, but I thought it might be genuine happiness.
12
