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“Get the fuck over here, Devon.” I dropped the morphine pump, needing to hold him instead. “Please. I need you.” Tears burned my eyes. If he didn’t come to me, I wouldn’t make it through recovery. I needed him more than I needed these machines attached to me. “Please, Devon.”
Devon gasped out a cry, and then his feet moved. Fast. He gripped my hand, and I used whatever meagre bits of strength I had to pull him against my body, wrapping my arms around him and losing complete control of the emotions I sometimes forgot I had. Bubbles were gone and volcanic eruptions set in, myfeelingsspewing all over the fucking place. I buried my face in his filthy neck and cried out all the fear I felt when I first saw Davis pull that gun on him. Devon flashed before my eyes again, and I knew without a single doubt that I’d never let him go. I’d take all the bullets for him. I’d do anything and everything, rise to any highs and sink to any lows to make sure he stayed with me. Devon was mine. Dumbness and all. Because I loved this fucker with every fibre of my being—even my hatred loved to hate him.
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Madd. I love you. I’m sorry,” he rambled through sobs, sounding ridiculous and perfect. Kind of annoying, but I even loved being annoyed by him.
“Stop apologizing. I love you.” I stroked his hair back and tried to kiss him. I was a bit off, pretty disoriented, so I missed, but he straightened me out.
Devon pulled back, hands framing my face. “It’s my fault you’re in here. That bullet was meant for me.”
I scoffed, which hurt like hell. “And you’re meant for me. I kept fate in play.” I scoffed again, which hurt like hell again. “You really think I’m going to let your dad win and take you from me? Please. You’re mine, Devon. I just have to train you to listen better, like a good dog.”
He laughed and cried and a snot bubble snuck out of his nostril. I tried to pop it, but he snuffed it back in. I showed him my morphine drip, but he didn’t seem impressed. “I fucked up too bad this time, Maddox. You can’t forgive me for this.”
“Yeah, I can. I fuck up all the time. I just hide it from you better.” I smiled with a numb face. “No matter how many times we fuck up, we’re stuck together. Don’t even think about backing away from me, Devon. I don’t want space. I don’t need time. I don’t need to think about anything. I almost lost you, but you’re still here, so can we just skip that stupid part?”
“Madd…”
“I’ll hunt you down if you try to leave me over this.”
“I thought I was doing the right thing,” he cried.
“I know.” I nodded at the morphine pump again. “See?”
He pushed my hand down. “None of it worked. I fucked it all up because the cops don’t trust a Sawyer. No one trusts me.”
“I do.” I trusted him as a person. I trusted his intention. I trusted our relationship.
“You shouldn’t. He got away. He took off on that boat with the documents and then tried to have me killed to tie up his loose ends. Again.” His glossy blue eyes met mine. “You saved my life again.”
“No regrets. Look.” Again, the morphine pump.
“No more taking bullets for me, okay? Promise me.” He sighed, but still didn’t look at my pump.
“No, no promises. If you’d died out there, I’d have died. I knew my chances of surviving a gunshot were better because I’m more badass than you, so I took that chance. Without you, I’d be dead, Devon. Walking around in a body without the person that makes me me.”
Devon swallowed, shook his head, nodded, and blew a drool bubble this time.So many bubbly things.“Ditto, you prick! So let's just both live, okay? I can’t live in a world without your shitty attitude in it.”
“Deal.” I moved my legs so he could sit down. I mustn’t have moved them far enough because he picked them up and slid them over, being more gentle than I’d ever known him to be. “Look.” I lifted the morphine pump and waved it in his face.
Devon looked at it, looked at me, and then sighed. “Cool.”
I clicked the button a million times, grinning.
He wiped his nose and turned it over to show me the writing on the side. “That’s the fucking call button, Madd. You’re annoying the shit out of the nurses.”
Ohhh. No fun. Devon leaned over me, picked up another cylindrical thing, and put it in my hand.
“Try that one,” he laughed.
I hit the button as many times as I could. So much for not being the experimental drug type, but I figured it was practically encouraged under doctor supervision, so I kept clicking. I knew my voice was slow and strained, but I kept talking. “Can we just move on now? I don’t wanna spend all our time fighting over your dad or watching you be all guilty about this whole thing. It happened. We’re both okay. I love you. We got a life together now, so let’s live it.”
“Madd.”
“Just help me heal and get me home. I just wanna be at home with you.”
Devon bit his lip. “I want at least a week to feel guilty. Preferably two weeks.”
“No.”
