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Light.
My legs gave out, and my knees sang in pain as they crashed to the courtroom floor. Then my darkness was obliterated by the light of Devon’s sobbing, red splotchy face showing up right in front of me. He fell into me, or I fell into him, and nothing else fucking mattered because he was back in my arms, getting snot all over me, filling me with renewed hope. I felt him for the first time in months, and with that touch, reality crashed back into focus. I didn’t waste another second. I held him so tight he couldn’t breathe, but I didn’t think he was breathing anyway. The sounds of the courtroom were drowned out by the love coming straight from Devon Sawyer, like he’d been bottling it up all this time and unleashed it on me all at once.
Xavi hugged me from behind, but I couldn’t pull away from Devon. He cried in my ear and said a whole bunch of shit I couldn’t understand through the mess of him, but I understood the sentiment.
“Marry me, Devon.” It was the first thing that came out of my mouth.
“I will, you dumb fuck,” he half laughed, half cried, not letting go of me. “Fuck, I will. I love you, Madd.”
“I love you.” With everything I had to give. “Thank you for everything.”
Did we still have a bunch of bullshit coming our way? Hell yeah. But I was innocent of these crimes and I’d make damn sure it stayed that way.
I had come so close to letting depression consume me, and now I needed to hold on to Devon for as long as I had him. In return, I’d learn how to light him up so he stopped hating himself. I’d learned that there was no vulnerability in relying on others. I used to think it meant I was weak, but now I knew I wouldn’t be here without the help, love, and support of everyone close in my life.
I kept my hands on Devon, but I pulled back enough to actually look at him. He’d never looked like more of a mess, but the smile on his face was bigger than anything I’d ever seen. In his red-rimmed eyes, I saw everything I loved about him. His stubbornness and his passion, his worries and fears, and all the love and loyalty he possessed. I saw his hopes and dreams for the future that was finally within our grasp, and I saw the raw honesty in how badly he wanted it. This asshole had become my entire world, and I’d never let another day go by where I didn’t tell him that, show him that, and remind him of that.
“You need a fucking haircut,” he laughed, almost hysterical with relief. Maybe nerves.
“So do you,” I snipped back, sniffing. “But you look hot as hell, Devon. Take me home.”
Wherever home was these days.
32
-Maddox-
Relieffilledmesofully I felt high. The constant fear and depression that had overwhelmed me for four months started to ease away and lighten.
Not guilty.
Not guilty.
I exhaled a long breath, having felt like I’d been holding it since the moment I got cuffed and put into the back of that police cruiser. My lungs emptied of desolation and depression, and they breathed in something like a fresh new start with a fresh new outlook. My second shot at life. Okay… maybe my third.
The courtroom buzzed around me as it emptied. I thanked my lawyers once, even though I should have thanked them a million times, and I kept my hand in Devon’s the whole time. Would I ever be able to drop it? No matter who pulled me in what direction, I dragged Devon with me for all of it.
Devon cried the hardest out of everyone. His tears came freely and without shame, shedding that pressure he’d been living under for months. His soul brightened, his anger and fear dripped down his cheeks, and shame and guilt swelled in his eyes, finally dissipating as it dripped off his chin to fall on the courtroom floor. My boy was hurting, but this time, it was a good kind of pain. The pain of healing.
My mom hugged me, crying against my shoulder. My dad hugged me, holding back his tears and settling for silence instead. Nate hugged me, thanking me for never giving up on his brother, and Xavi hugged me for so long I trembled. He called me a dipshit for making him worry so much, and I hugged him harder for it. When I looked at him, I silently thanked him for watching over Devon the whole time, making sure his heart never shattered.
“Devon,” I called, tugging on his hand. “Don’t you dare back away from me.” I wiped his cheeks with the pads of my thumbs, smiling at him before pressing my lips to his.
Ignited. A surge of too many things—gratitude, power, contentment, love—washed through my lips and settled in my chest. To finally kiss him again breathed a new sense of life into my weathered soul. The caress of his tongue against mine burned with that chemistry we’d always contained but spent too long ignoring. Even after all we’d been through, we still had it, and one kiss from this prick was enough to fill my tanks, top up my reserves, and charge my batteries. What would a lifetime with him do?
“Home, Devon. Wherever the fuck that is, let’s go. Now.”
He grinned against my mouth. “Glad to see you’re still a pushy asshole, Madd.”
Eventhoughithadonly been four months since I stepped foot in Garron Park, it felt like everything had changed. Lot 62 was still taped off, our trucks were no longer parked there, and the trailer that usually held our dirt bikes was gone. There were ‘welcome home, Maddox’ signs hanging on the front porches of a lot of trailers, and my mom’s trailer had paper streamers hanging from the awning.
I’d miss our dirt bikes the most, but I wouldn’t spend any time mourning them when I had Devon right in front of me. I’d just have to hope we could get them back someday. Nate and Xavi dropped us off at Mom’s and then left to give us some time to be alone. Mom was with Dad somewhere, planning a welcome home cookout for later. I really did want to spend time with everyone, but my attention focused only on my boyfriend for the time being.
“You okay, Madd?” Devon asked as we stood on my mom’s brown front lawn.
“If you ask me that again, I’ll beat your ass,” I told him. Truthfully, though, I wasn’t okay. Going inside the trailer scared me. That’s where Devon overdosed and had to be taken to the hospital. Would it feel different to go in there? Would the mental images I’d conjured of that happening haunt me forever?
“Look at me,” Devon insisted, stepping in front of me. “I fucked up, Madd. But I’m not gonna fuck up again, okay? I finally have you back, and I’m not going to do anything to ruin that. Trust me on this, okay?”
