Page 78 of Knock Knock


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Harris reached for his gun, but I pressed my chest to his. “Don’t,” he warned me.

“It’s just a fridge. How much are those sunglasses worth to you?” I patted his cheek. “Delivered tomorrow would be great.”

Before he could grab me or unholster his maybe real, hopefully fake gun, I bolted out the front door and hoped Evan and Xavi had managed to get the truck running. But she wasn’t running, and Xavi was yipping like a coyote, barking orders at Evan, who was trying to push the truck into a rolling start.

“Switch!” Xavi shouted.

Evan hopped into the driver’s seat, and me and Xavi rolled our old hunk of loveable metal down the slope, shouting at Evan to turn the key every few seconds. When she finally fired up, Xavi whooped with the biggest smile of his life on his face.

“I’m getting my fridge, bitches!”

Then the truck clanked, and the gears groaned as Evan tried to give himself a driving lesson.

“Oops. Fuck. Forgot eight-year-olds can’t drive,” I laughed. “We’re getting your fridge!”

“I’m ten!” Evan yelled, but he was laughing, high on crime and lunacy.

Maybe we weren’t the best influences, but maybe we were. Who decided that sort of thing? I’d say the smile on Evan’s face did.

CHAPTER26

XAVI

The bracelet Natehad made me snagged in my mom’s hair, twisting with the one Karen gave me. I valued the stringy gifts more than I valued her tangles, so I yanked it free and felt numb to her yelp. Getting her on the couch with a bucket and a cool cloth, I blew out a breath over the sound of her sobbing.

“I’m sorry, hun. I’m so sorry. I’m gonna be better. I’m done now. Totally done. I’m so sorry.”

I knew she was sorry, but it wasn’t enough to make her better. I didn’t want her to get better for me. I wanted her to respect her life enough to give it a shot. I mean, if she was happy being a drunk mess who failed everyone all the time, fine. But she wasn’t happy. She was guilt-stricken, ashamed, and embarrassed. Who wanted to live like that?

Alcoholism is a disease. Addiction is a disease. Give her credit for trying as much as she does.

I couldn’t listen to her anymore, so I slammed the door of the trailer behind me and just… fell. Straight to my knees because the weight ofherworld felt like it rested onmyvery unstable shoulders. I hardly had my own shit together, and to be honest, I cared more about putting the rest of my energy into Maddox, Dad, and Nate than I did her. I knew that was an asshole thing to think, but I couldn’t help it. Why did we constantly have to help someone who didn’t give a damn about helping herself?

My knees hit the grass and my head hung. Not sure if I was going to cry or just take a few minutes to breathe, I stared at my knobby knees and tried not to put all my weight on my bad-but-better toe. Life was good for me. Life wasminefor once. It wasn’t about Maddox and Devon. It wasn’t about Jim Sawyer. It wasn’t about my dad being a mess or Nate being insecure, or us having to put everyone else ahead of ourselves. It was our fresh start. The next chapter in our love story, and… and I didn’t want to be kneeling on my mom’s front lawn because I couldn’t listen to her sobbing apologies anymore.

I fisted my hands on my thighs and stared at my knuckles instead. The knuckles I was going to get our names tattooed on just because I wanted to. A reminder that we were the most important. Nate and Xavi.

A small hand with dirty fingernails landed on my knee. Patting me. Being weird.

Holy fuck it was comforting. A strangled sound that was probably a cry but came out half-choked left me, and I leaned forward to rest my head on the top of his.

“My mom was like that too,” he said. “She left now.”

“I’m sorry,” I told him, meaning it. At least my mom hadn’t left. Probably hadn’t had the motivation to.

“I’m sorry, too,” Evan said.

He kept his clammy hand on my knee until I got the energy to lift my head, and then he hauled me to my feet and forgot to catch me when I tripped over my slide.

“Go home, Xav,” Dad said, coming up the path. “Mary called. I got your mother,” he said, smiling at me and giving Evan a nod. “You get to live your life now.”

For the first time in a long time, I gave my dad a hug, and then followed Evan through his winding paths. He didn’t talk much, and neither did I, but it felt good to have him there. When we got close to Lot 62, he stopped and looked at me.

“Good news,” he said.

“Yeah? Didn’t think you believed in good news.” I smirked at him.

“Not mine. Your good news.” He nodded to the truck driving down to our lot. “Delivery that might kill you, but you’ll probably get a fridge out of it.”

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