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Ashley had it figured that he was cheating, and that the woman was his lover. She wanted to go find her, get in her face, and figure it all out. It was a horrible idea. I told her so and I got some of that anger that she had stored up for her situation.
“Why can’t you ever be on my side!” Ashley was way too emotional, and I just sighed. She didn’t need to answer any questions.
“Maybe you should just sleep on it, Ashley. You look really upset and you know that is not good for you. We will talk about it later. Do you want to come over and have some coffee, maybe chocolate?”
“Is that man of yours there still?”
I frowned, not sure why she asked and said that he was. “Good, then I will definitely meet you over at your house.”
I laughed because of the way she said it. “You like him, huh?”
Ashley agreed. “How could you not?”
I nodded my head in knowing. How could she not. I knew that I couldn’t turn him away, even though most of the time I was overwhelmed by it all. He was too much for me half the time, but for the other half, I was looking for ways to get even more.
* * *
We got backto my place, and Ashley followed me back in her car, grabbing some groceries on the way in. Frank came out and grabbed the last too. I could see the desire in Ashley’s eyes. She really liked him and how could I blame her? I got it, really, I did. I just didn’t understand why there was such a hard feeling of envy that ran through me. I wasn’t used to it and since I had been so uppity about it when Frank was being the jealous one, I didn’t want to feel its effects on me. I didn’t like the feeling of wanting to hurt my best friend because she was looking at a guy that until just recently was only a few lines on paper. I didn’t like that side of me, but so help me, I didn’t know how I was supposed to stop the feeling. I seriously wanted to claw her eyes out. That was not like me at all.
Frank must have picked something up; he was so smart, and he pulled me in for a kiss. That wasn’t strange, but the heat that came with it, bent me practically in half, making it hard to focus on much of anything else. He was claiming me again, but this time it wasn’t for a man to see for his jealousy, but for a woman to see for mine. Why did that make me upset and not sure what to do? I really didn’t like feeling this way about someone, like I owned them, but so help me he felt like he was all mine. I never wanted him to go away. I couldn’t help it.
Ashley gave me a look; she didn’t understand how I was feeling. We’d never been that way with each other. Instead, she was still trying to get the lowdown on Frank, so she started some rapid-fire questions that I wasn’t too happy with. It was a lot for someone to take, and I wished that she knew how I was feeling. Maybe she would stop putting so much effort into the man next to me. It was really starting to bother me.
Frank said that she should stay for dinner. He was cooking and since he was better at it than I was, I was all down for it. Ashley was going to fawn over him, I came to that realization, so I just had to let it go. It’s not like all the worry that I had was going to help anything. It wasn’t. I just needed to calm down and stop freaking out. Nothing was going to happen.
We all sat down, Ashley still flirting with Frank, but Frank didn’t take the bait. I swear that he was aware of how it affected me, more than Ashley was. Usually, she was pretty good at reading the room, but not today.
When the meal was over, we played some darts and Ashley invited us over to her place to jump in the pool. I would have said yes, if I wasn’t thinking about how I was going to feel seeing Ashley running around in her two piece. I said that I wasn’t interested because of that. I really wasn’t used to feeling so jealous. This really wasn’t like me, and I didn’t like the way I felt and how worked up I was.
I walked Ashley to her car, and she asked me if I was happy.
“Why do you ask?”
She shrugged. “You look like it, but there is something off between the two of you. What’s going on?”
I didn’t have an answer for her, but that didn’t stop her from pressing. I didn’t know what was going on between us, just that Frank had secrets, had conversations in the middle of the night when I wasn’t around. I didn’t know what his secret was, which was likely why I was so nervous about it. I didn’t like the unknown.
“I don’t know, nothing is off. You know that I don’t have any experience with this. Now go home and fix things with your man, Ashley. There is no one else that will ever be as perfect for you, and you know it.”
Ashley left with a wave. She likely was going to tell me what was going on with her later. I would get the update and I was quite convinced that they were going to get back together. I wondered about them for a few minutes, until I went back in the house and saw Frank standing there. He had a grin on his face, and I wanted to know what he was looking at me like that for. I asked and he just shrugged. “Just admiring you, Amber. That’s all.”
I sighed. He was so sweet and always knew just what to say. Sweet and mysterious.
10
Frank
Amber agreed to go with me back to my hometown so that I could go to the funeral for Jerome. Jesse was going to be a pain. He would fall in love with Amber, but it wasn’t as bad as I thought. Amber was great to be around in the circumstances, because she was so good at reading people. I was annoyed about coming back to Macon, but she was fine with it. She rearranged her schedule from work and now she was being the rock that I needed. I wasn’t home much, so every time it felt like I hadn’t been back in a while. Jesse was like me. We were used to being on the road or on a mission, so when we were home together, it was a strange occasion.
Jesse immediately took to Amber, and I didn’t like the laughing that he had her doing. Jesse was handsome by most standards. He certainly didn’t have trouble getting some attention and he was getting some from Amber. She was laughing so hard tears were coming down her cheeks. I’d gone to go change and grab a few things since I hadn’t been home in a while and when I came out of the bedroom, Amber was laughing at Jesse’s jokes, and I wanted to know what was said. That jealousy was back, even though I tried desperately to push it back down.
Amber was just nice to everyone, and I had to remind myself of that, instead of thinking that she was trying to get it on with Jesse. She wasn’t, of course. Jesse must have seen my reaction, because he put some distance between them. I wanted to tell him not to worry because there was no problem, but I couldn’t get the words out. I didn’t feel them.
The funeral was in a few hours, so I spent a lot of the time with Amber up in my room. She seemed perfectly fine to lay around with me and wait until the time to leave. I couldn’t bring myself to bed her, but just holding her was better. I couldn’t remember the last time that I felt as good as I did. I just needed Amber in my arms. She took away the horrible day that I was having, and I didn’t know what I would have done without her.
Jerome was close to me, and I didn’t agree with everything he did, but he had been a good friend. He had been murdered and when I saw several of our old crew there at the funeral, a lot of old memories came back. They certainly weren’t all good either. The funeral was nice, but I had the strangest feeling the whole time that I was there. A few people that I thought would show up didn’t, so I spent too much time looking around for them.
The whole funeral, I also felt like there was someone watching me. The hairs on the back of my neck were up most of it, and I figured that it had something to do with being at a funeral and how Jerome had died, but it could have easily been something else as well. This wasn’t the first time since I’d taken time off to see Amber that I had felt off in a way that was hard to explain. I tried to assure myself repeatedly that it was just because of what was going on with everything, that’s why I felt so out of touch, but maybe it was something else.
