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I disagreed. “It’s not weird, it’s just a lot. We’ve been talking for so long and I know that I have a lot that I am trying to get through. I really thought something had happened to you, Frank. It was by far the worst feeling that I’ve ever had before. I am so glad that you are here and safe.” I stopped because I could feel my eyes welling up and then there was the sound of my voice cracking as well. He didn’t need to know how sensitive I was about it. I had thought he was dead and that was by far the worst feeling I think I have ever had. I wasn’t going to say how I felt about it, like I had lost my best friend, but I don’t think I meant to. Frank pulled me in for a kiss and only let go when he had to flip something on the stove.
“I’m fine, Amber. You know that I can take care of myself.”
I agreed with him, but that didn’t mean that he was someone that was invincible. Anything could have happened and the sort of situations that he was in sometimes, it could very well have been something that happened while he was on a mission. I had realized then that no one would tell me anything because we were just friends. It wasn’t enough to just be his friend. I had to be something more, it felt like I already was, but without something more, I wasn’t.
I straightened up and laughed, wiping my eyes and apologizing, saying that it must have been the onion that he was using.
“It’s not onion.”
I sighed and just shrugged. He knew what was up, so there was no point in lying about it. I did though. I couldn’t admit the truth. I doubt I would be able to get it out.
4
Frank
Amber’s emotions weren’t completely out of the blue. She was what I would call an emotional person to begin with. We hadn’t talked much today, but she had a lot of feelings. Ever since she came downstairs and saw me making breakfast, shirt off, I don’t think she had taken her eyes off me at all. She was drowning with desire and the way she bit her lip and looked at me, I couldn’t blame her. I wanted her even more, but it was still difficult. Amber had changed much of my life, and I doubted that she knew it. She just thought of what we had as a friendship, but it had been much more to me for quite a while. Seeing her now, kissing her last night, friendship was the very last thing on my mind.
We got ready to go out on the boat and Amber made a few phone calls to get out of work. I really hadn’t thought much through when I showed up out of the blue. I knew that she worked, but her schedule was her own, and I’d hoped that she would make time for me. She did.
When I asked her how long she had, Amber just shrugged and said that it just depended. She was a photographer and could work around her schedule. I was thankful for that.
The boat was a small pontoon boat that she talked about on occasion. There was this little island she would drive to that wasn’t but an hour away from the marina where it was docked. I had read about it enough that I felt like I could see it in my head. It was exactly where I wanted us to be, the lake small and idyllic. The boat was small and cozy, and there weren’t very many people at the marina.
Amber got us out of the docks without much trouble and while I hadn’t been sure of her skill level, Amber obviously knew what she was doing. I watched her bite her lower lip in concentration, and I swear that everything she did just made me want her even more. It was one thing to want her from her words, but it was quite another to be raring to go and she was just standing there.
“You are pretty good at that.”
Amber agreed, said something about how she went out by herself a lot, and I just watched the trees pass by for a while. We weren’t going very fast; she was going slow and taking the scenic trip. I wasn’t used to not being in charge. When I was on a mission, I was the one that everyone was looking to for support and advice. I liked that I didn’t have to be “on” now. I could just exist, sit back, close my eyes, and relax. I did this for a while, until I was wretched free from where I was.
I opened my eyes and Amber was cursing. She had come in too fast, and the bottom of the boat was beached quite a way in. She apologized for coming in so harshly and I asked her what happened. She said something about her mind being somewhere else. She was staring at me, that’s what I’d taken from it. That was probably the best reason that I could think of and really, how could I be mad? I think she was checking me out so much that she had messed up the entry. That meant that I was getting her attention and to me that was all I could ask for.
“Don’t worry about it, Amber. We will just push it back in before we go. Is this your little island?”
She looked around and the sunlight was streaming down her face. She was so beautiful at that moment; her eyes were showing tiny gold flecks that I hadn’t seen before. I don’t know what was going on with us, but I was falling for her, I knew that much. Hell, who was I kidding? I’d fallen for her a long time ago. Amber sent me a letter out of the blue, and her positivity and her spirit had brought me out of a dark time when I didn’t know how I was going to move forward. Amber changed all of that for me years ago, and she’d been doing that again and again since then. Seeing her now, being so close to her, it was more than I could have hoped for. If nothing else between us happened and it was just these moments, it would be enough.
Amber took off her cover and I asked her if she was going to go swimming. It was cold, the water was likely way too cold, but she didn’t seem that worried about it. She just giggled and made it like I was the one that was being silly.
“Of course.”
I sighed and wondered out loud if she had lost her mind.
“I thought you liked adventures?”
I scoffed, “There is no adventure here. You are just going to freeze.”
“I bet I can have you forgetting all about the cold. Come in with me, Frank, please.”
She just had to ask once. I couldn’t have said no to her, even if I wanted to. She was too beautiful, innocent. I was hers to push along and I didn’t want to change it. That was the trouble. I liked how it had all worked out so far.
I took my shirt off, already cold and her eyes picked up every inch that I revealed. I was going to freeze my ass off, but I knew that I was going to go right back there and warm up. It was all going to be fine, until I got into the water after her and every muscle in my body started to tighten up.
“Come on, you have to move, Frank.”
I likely looked at her like she was crazy, because she had to be. There was no way that she could be in the water and not be cold. She’d talked about this before, how it was invigorating, but I didn’t feel it. We didn’t stay in the water long, but I was cold as hell when I got out. Seconds later though, she pulled me toward her body, and we hugged, while a wave of heat came over me. It was the best surge of energy that I’d ever felt before, and I was grounded only by her hands and arms on mine. We just stood there together for so long and I tried to pull in all the feelings.
The air started to rush around us, and I was cold on the outside, the parts of me that were exposed and not turned toward Amber. We stood like that for several moments and then Amber pulled back, handing me a towel and asking me if I liked the water. I was speechless, just looking at her and taking every inch of her in. Amber was like no one I’d ever met before. Her words through the miles could calm me down and one little hug could rile me up. Either way, she was pushing me back and forth, and I am pretty sure that it wasn’t anything that she wanted.
I leaned down and kissed her. It wasn’t part of the plan, wasn’t something that I should have done, but I couldn’t help it. I just wanted her in my arms, mouth on her and Amber was no longer fighting me to touch her or not. Finally, I had the determination to do what had been on my mind for quite some time. I pushed her back down on the boat so that we were out of the wind, and I pressed her down underneath me. She was open to me, my body pressed against hers. Amber was so small under me, and her lips were surprised. I took advantage of all of it. I’d wanted to kiss her for some time, imagined us together more times than I could count. It was all just as good, maybe even better than I’d imagined.
