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“Go back a moment. What did you just say? Did someone call you that?”
“Shh. Enzo, calm down. You know you’re not the first man I’ve slept with, but I hope you’re the last.”
She hesitates, and I make sure she understands exactly what’s happening between us now. I fist her hair, and I feel her sigh. The rougher I am, the more relaxed she becomes.
“I better be the last, Chellie. I just told you we’re going to have a family together. That sure as fuck means I won’t share you, and I know I made it clear a family means marriage, and marriage means forever.”
“So, you meant what you said.”
“I meant it as much as you meant what you said.”
Her smile is beautiful. Absolutely exquisite. She steals my breath away. I let go of her hair and stroke her cheek.
“Daddy, I could take or leave talking dirty during sex. Whether I was the one talking or listening. I’ve been called things I would never tolerate outside sex. In real life, I don’t want to be bred like a horse. But the idea of you tying me up and putting me at your mercy excites me. The idea of getting pregnant from that — I don’t know why that excites me too. It feels like it should be wrong.”
“No. It’s not wrong as long as you agree to it. What we do together is our private business. Whatever fantasies we want to explore are perfectly fine because I know neither of us would force the other. If there’s something you don’t like, then we don’t do it. If there is something you do like, we can do it as often as you want.”
“I hope you know the same is true for you. If you don’t want something, I hope you don’t do it just for my sake.”
“I think you already know I will always need to be the dominant one when we’re intimate, but I still believe we can be equal partners in our entire relationship.”
She hesitates. When I start to pull back, she puts her hand on my chest.
“Wait. I know you need to be in control, and I believe it’s because there’s a lot of shit in your life you can’t control. I think not having control would make you anxious and unable to enjoy being with me. I get it. I prefer to submit because all I have to think about is what’s happening in the moment. I never get to do that. I’m always thinking about work or what I still need to do or what’s coming up or whatever. I never live in the moment unless I’m with you. I like the anticipation of trying to guess what you might do, but I love not having to plan it. I appreciate not having to be in charge for once. We give each other what we need. I don’t think this will be a bad thing, but there’s no way we can be equal partners. Not when there is stuff you have to hide from me. But I’m okay with that because, at the end of the day, I want to be the woman you turn to. I want to be the one you know you can rely on to let yourself escape for a few hours. I want to be the arms you walk into.”
“How are you so wonderful?”
“Ha. I don’t know that everyone would agree with that.”
“I don’t care about everyone. You’re perfectly wonderful to me.”
She kisses me, and I relax. She strokes hair back from my forehead, and I feel that escape she just mentioned. We both fight the need to yawn as our bodies release the tension that built up again as we talked. My body no longer agrees with my mind, and I pull out. I press her onto her back and latch onto her breast as my hand drifts down to her pussy. I resume the massage I gave her much earlier. My fingers move slowly, lulling her rather than arousing her. I switch tits back and forth as I fight to stay awake.
“Daddy, I’m going to come.”
She tells me in drowsy whisper as she does.
“Shh,piccolina. Sleep.”
I doze off moments later, still sucking her tits. A man in bliss.
* * *
What the fuck time is it? Where is my phone?
I glance up at Chellie and realize I really fell asleep sucking her breast. It’s the best sleep I’ve had in ages, but now I need to find my pants before my phone wakes her. I know the pattern. Ring three times. Stop. Ring three times. Stop. Ring three times. The pattern will continue until I answer. It’s work. It’s someone in my family, but there won’t be any good news. I glance at the screen.
“Marco?”
“Yeah. You need to come in.”
I look at Chellie, and she hasn’t stirred. I slip out of bed and go into the bathroom. Partly because I don’t want to disturb her, but also partly because I don’t want her to overhear.
“Perché?” Why?
“Is someone there?”
“Sì.” Yes.
