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But I give up, hearing Vickie’s comments again.
My lips are parting when the door bursts open.
Ethan is on the floor, gripping both my wrists right away. “Don’t. Don’t. Don’t.” His words are whispered so quickly I barely catch them.
A sob gets stuck in my throat as I shake my head. He leans back against the bathtub, spreading his legs so he can bring me to him. My back against his chest, he keeps hold of my wrists at the small of my back, and puts a hand on my forehead, pulling until I lean against his shoulders.
“You don’t need to do this, Jade.”
“I’m ugly,” I whimper, my eyes squeezing at the admission.
“You’re beautiful. You’ve always been beautiful.”
I shake my head, sniffling. “Let me go.”
“Say it. Tell me you’re beautiful and I’ll let you go. Promise me you won’t try to make yourself sick and you won’t have to deal with me anymore.”
When I keep quiet, he brushes his cheek against mine. “All that Vickie wants is to get a reaction out of you. Don’t give it to her.”
“Is she gone?”
“She’s gone. I kicked her out.”
“Why?”
He hesitates for a few seconds and gives me what I know is only half the truth. “Because I can’t stand the bitch.”Because she upset you,he doesn’t add.
In my vulnerable state, I say something I know I will regret. We just found each other again, now isn’t the time to bring up our past. “Tell me you don’t hate me, Ethan.”
I feel his skin leaving mine and his head falls back against the edge of the tub.
“Tell me you’re beautiful,” he responds.
I sigh, knowing I’m not getting my answer. “I’m beautiful,” I rasp.
“Promise me you won’t make yourself sick.”
“I won’t make myself sick.” My voice is robotic, but it seems to be enough for now.
Releasing my wrists, he helps me stand up.
He looks down at my face, shaking his head as he wipes my wet cheeks with his thumbs. “Don’t tell Elliot about this. Not what you were going to do, and not that I was in here with you.”
“Why?”
“Just do as you’re told.”
He’s about to leave when I call out again. “How did you know?”
A tiny smile tips the corner of his mouth. “I know you by heart, Jade. You can put up a tough front for everyone else. Just not me.”
He leaves, and I ignore my reflection in the mirror as I follow. It’s calling for me to look, to show me how ugly I am.
Ethan is about to leave the hallway, and I’m just coming out of the bathroom when Elliot opens the door that leads to the living room, letting loud music in. We freeze on the spot.
Elliot’s tongue pokes at his inner cheek. His eyes flick from Ethan to me and back to his brother. He closes the door, shutting us out of the party.
“What are you both doing here?” He saysboth,but he’s asking Ethan, not me.
