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Jade: I didn’t say fuck off. I’m just tired and I think I need some sleep. Tomorrow?
“When we’re rich,” I whisper to her, “he can throw money at your naked body then. And we’ll buy you all the pet bunnies on the planet.”
She laughs so hard she snorts, making me tighten my grip on her just to have her closer to me.
“How are you feeling about tomorrow?” I ask, playing with the ends of her hair. I finally managed to keep her still long enough to brush it and put in some hair mousse for her curls. Then I braided it for the night.
“I’m a bit anxious,” she admits.
“It’s the biggest fucking job we’ve ever done. It’s no joke, for sure.”
“That’s not what scares me. I trust Ethan and Kay to move the money fast enough. I trust the van I built, and I have full confidence in my abilities as a driver. I even trust you to get the safe open and,” she hesitates, grabbing a popcorn and crushing it between her thumb and forefinger, “I know you got that girl around your finger.That’swhat makes me anxious.”
When I don’t say anything, she sighs. “Have you kissed her yet? Fucked her?”
“The other day you said you didn’t want to know about any of this.”
“Well, now I do. I want to know what you’ve done with her.”
I let my head fall back against the sofa, and I look at the ceiling instead of the movie still playing in front of us. People are shooting each other now. There’s a car chase, and the sound of guns and screeching tires is starting to get on my nerves. It feels like a bad omen for tomorrow.
“I haven’t fucked her. And I haven’t kissed her.”
She seems to stop breathing for a second. “So, you’re really playing the teasing card.”
“Yeah. I promise her shit I’m never going to give her. I compliment her like I mean it, but all I can think about is you and how you’re waiting at home for me. I think about you in my bed, between Ethan and me. And I think about how good it feels when I fuck you. My body is with her, but my mind constantly screamsJade, Jade, Jade. All my life that’s all my brain has been screaming.”
I take a deep breath, bracing for another disappointment. “I think about how much you mean to me. That I’m in love with you.”
She stills completely.
Come on, Jade. Give it to me.
Three simple words.
That’s all I need.
“It makes me feel better that you don’t give her any part of you,” she murmurs against my chest.
And I’m fucking done.
I thought I could take it one more time, but I can’t.
I push her off me violently as I stand up, the popcorn falling onto the floor.
“What the fuck,” I hiss as I snap around. “What the…Why?”
She sits up in a panic. “What? What did I say?”
“It’s what youdon’tsay, Jade. Why can’t you fucking do it?”
She seems to understand what I mean, slowly getting up. “Elliot.” The apology in her voice kills me. It extinguishes the little fire I had in me.
I run a hand through my hair, feeling my throat constricting. “You tell Ethan you love him all the time.”
“I know, but—”
“Why not me?” I rasp. “Please, Jade. I would do anything for you. Idideverything in my power to have you. I have nothing else to give. Do you understand that? You have all of me. I—I’m fucking sharing you with my brother, for fuck’s sake. What else am I meant to do?”
