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A beat later, he lets me go, but I stay in the same position. Too ashamed to look him in the eye.
“Are you happy? I fucked him because he was blackmailing me. I did everything he said because he forced me to. I stoppedseeing you because heforbademe to!” My voice is raw, my heart beating crazily, my lungs straining from the need to breathe.
I try to catch my breath, panting. “He was…” A short breath. “He was blackmailing me, for fuck’s sake. Beating up Billie, setting her up, trying to get Caden to stop dating her,” I try to catch my breath and calm my racing heart, but I’m unsuccessful. “That was all Sawyer making me do it. Just–please, just…stop.”
Even that shameful admission is not enough to convince Elliot. Because he’s a bastard like that. “What with?”
And he can ask that question as many times as he wishes. He’ll die trying to know what it was.
“I can’t tell you that.”
I feel him bending over me. “Do you know why no one trusts you, Jade?”
“Let me go.”
“Because you’re aliar.”
That word. It stirs something within me. Because the person who broke me knew it. He said no one would believe me.
But it hurts even more when it comes from someone you wish with all your soul would believe you.
“I’m not a liar. Let me go.”
“What was it?”
“I’m not a liar,” I repeat.
You’re lying, Jade. Stop fucking lying.Ethan’s mom is the first one who didn’t believe me.
Jade, are you sure? I know girls your age are desperate for attention, but…this is a bold statement. Are you lying, Jade? You’re doing every real victim a disfavor by doing that.What kind of school counselor says that to a seventeen-year-old? She was the second person to call me a liar.
Oh my god, Jade. Don’t make that kind of shit up.Have you seen yourself? Who would do that? Vickie didn’t want to hear me.Seriously, lying doesn’t look good on you.She was the third person to tell me I was lying.
And then it was Kay. She refused to hear the truth.
“I’m not a liar.” Why is my voice so weak? What is happening to me?
I’m unsure with what strength I finally turn around.
“I’m not a liar.” Why are my cheeks wet?
I feel my knees buckling, but my vision has narrowed. All I can see is Elliot’s gray t-shirt.
Sum 41.
My favorite song from them is called“Pieces.”Elliot is the one who showed it to me.
“I’m not a liar.I’m not a liar. I’m not a liar.”
Why would no one believe me? I cried, and I screamed, and I called for help, and they didn’t listen.
I’d never done anything to make them doubt my word. I’d never lied to anyone. I’d never started rumors.
Like Elliot said, I was as sweet as they came.
And still…they didn’t. Believe. Me.
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