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“I know,” she said. “Me too.” Grabbing her handbag, Natalie caught Noah off guard when she gave him a hug. “Thank you for letting me stay with you and Vanessa.”
“It’s the least I could do.”
He didn’t want to be on a warpath, and neither did Natalie. Arguing was the last thing they wanted while their daughter was fighting for her life. Feeling lifeless and exhausted, their trauma had brought them closer together as they leaned on each other for support.
“I’ll be back during visiting hours in the morning,” Natalie stated.
“Take a day off to just catch up on sleep. I’ll be here with her.”
“All right. I might stop by in the evening, though.” She started toward the door and turned around. “Noah?”
He looked at her.
“Are we ever gonna get our baby back?” she asked with tears in her eyes.
Burdened with guilt, he rushed to her side and pulled her into his arms.
“I abandoned you and our daughter eighteen years ago when you brought her into the world. I’m not gonna do that now. We’ll get through this together, Nat. She’s gonna come back to us.”
“I’m sorry.” Natalie sobbed. “I’m trying so hard to be strong… it’s been five weeks.”
“Don’t lose hope. I haven’t.”
She calmly nodded and reminded her ex that she would return in the morning.
After Natalie left, Noah closed the door to drown out the noise fromthe hallway. Aria’s hospital room had become his sanctuary and Hell. Removing his blazer, he folded it over the armchair next to the bed before he sat down and reached for his daughter’s hand. He took a deep breath. Noah hated seeing her like this.
Loosening his silver tie, he unfastened his cufflinks and rolled up his sleeves to get more comfortable. The air was thick with the scent of fresh roses. He was thankful it didn’t smell like death in her room, much like the sickly aroma of the hospital halls he remembered in the past.
Jessica’s iPod was resting on Aria’s side table. He slipped his daughter’s hand in his and listened to the beautiful song that softly played in the background.
No ordinary love…
Staring at her impenetrable solitude, he felt compelled to speak, taking his time as he tapped into his heart space.
“I wish we were in Italy right now… standing on a hotel veranda… Don’t you understand I need you here with me?” He squeezed her hand tighter. “When I look at you, I see my reflection, and it tears me up inside because I can’t figure out how it’s possible to be in love with a reflection of myself. It’s narcissistic. It’s wrong—but my heart begs to differ.” He opened up, unaware of the way he was influencing the fantasy in her mind; a place where dreams and reality collided.
“You breathed life into my broken soul the first day I cast my haunted eyes on you.” Noah paused, collecting his shattered hope. “You truly haunted me all my life, Aria. I always felt your presence and had long dreamed of reuniting with you. I just never thought it would be like this”—he hesitated—“this love I feel for you… it’s so… forbidden. It sets my soul on fire.”
He stayed quiet for a while and allowed himself to sink deeper into his mind before he said, “I’m never letting you go… Never.”
??
An overcast sky had darkened Aria’s hospital room as Noah stared out the window with a coffee in hand. He had got very little sleep through the night. It seemed impossible to rest when his mind was a mess. Drinking his cup of dark roast, he thought about everything the doctor had told him. His faith was dying. Every day that passed, Noah died a little more inside the longer Aria remained unconscious.
“…And our next track is by Amurai, ‘Love & Light (Downtempo Mix)’ taken from ‘Armada Lounge, Volume six’ album,”a radio host announced from Jessica’s iPod.“You’re listening to Anjunadeep, live on Digital Airway!” a radio host announced from Jessica’s iPod. He had let the music play through the night, hoping it would bring her back to him. She lay still, stuck in limbo.
Placing his cup on the table, Noah sat back down in the armchair next to Aria’s bed, covering her hand in warmth before he kissed her wrist.
“I could stare at you for hours.” He imagined her smiling while he continued to bare his soul. “That night when we fought in the car… I lied to you because I didn’t want to admit the truth. I can never love another woman the way I love you, Aria. I hope you realize that. You’ve ruined me.” He kissed her hand again and said, “What am I gonna do without you?”
Thunder rumbled in the distance as the sun took refuge behind the clouds. A storm was on its way. In minutes, a downpour of rain washed over Los Angeles, as if to clean the city of sin. Ignoring the crashing sounds in the sky, Noah focused on his daughter.
“You need to wake up... Please.” He wasn’t ready to let her go. “I’m right next to you. Wake up, sweetheart…”
The minutes kept passing, but no matter how much he cried and begged, she would not open her eyes.
“I’m gonna tell you something, Aria. Take me seriously because I’m only gonna say this once, and one time only.”
