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“No.” She brushed past him and went downstairs.
He followed her and tried to make her understand why he needed space, but she already had her coat on and was about to leave.
“I’m sorry, okay?”
“Sorry isn’t good enough,” Cammie said with tears in her eyes.
Before Noah could respond, she was gone in a flash.
??
An hour had passed since Cammie had left Noah’s place. Lying on the sofa, he smoked a joint while listening to Matthew Good Band’s “Beautiful Midnight” album. “Suburbia” faded in as he turned up the volume and folded his hands behind his head. The guitar rift was sad with haunting lyrics, but Noah was already depressed.
Might as well wallow in self-pity,he thought, wishing to numb himself.
CHAPTER FORTY-NINE
Carrie
June 2000, San Francisco CA
Carrie Castellano was Cammie’s younger sister and a sophomore at Yale University. Throughout her life, she was labeled as the “introverted nerd.” At only nineteen, Carrie had never had a boyfriend, had never been kissed, and was still a virgin. Her parents had got divorced when she was two years old, and her mother remarried three years later. Both sisters were raised by their mother and stepfather in Arizona. Throughout Carrie’s adolescent years, she struggled to get along with her mother, so she moved in with her father in Miami, while Cammie stayed behind.
Both sisters were close, but they had opposite personalities. Cammie was confident and outgoing; while Carrie was shy, reserved, and struggled with social anxiety. For much of her life, she always felt her older sister was prettier and more accomplished than her. Throughout middle school, her classmates bullied her and made her feel like an ugly duckling. The teasing eventually stopped once she started high school, but she could never erase the image of “Plain Jane” from her mind. Carrie’s hazel eyes were typically hidden behind dark-framedglasses, and her skinny figure was nowhere near as voluptuous as Cammie’s. She was a petite young woman, with short brown hair that she usually dyed in different colors. Despite their differences, they had a healthy relationship and loved each other a lot. Carrie had always been the brightest and most ambitious. She aspired to be a lifesaving neurosurgeon.
Moving away for college had helped Carrie to come out of her shell and become more independent. She finally had a sense of autonomy—something she had rarely felt while living at home with her mother and stepfather.
It was in the summer of her freshman year when the most amazing event happened to Carrie: she fell in love. Her sister had invited her on a road trip, and although Carrie had been reluctant to go, she was glad to have suspended her fear, because as soon as she cast her eyes on Noah Hunter, it was love at first sight. He was attractive in every sense, but he was never mean to her like other boys had been in the past. Carrie thought he was charming to a fault and heartbreakingly good looking. Her sister had warned her earlier on not to get close to him because Noah was the bad boy type. But it was impossible for Carrie to believe that. Throughout their trip, she saw nothing but Noah’s sweet side.
They traveled for three weeks, site sightseeing and partying along the Atlantic coast. By the time they reached Georgia, Cammie suspected her sister was crushing on Noah. When she finally had an opportunity to be alone with her, she cautioned Carrie not to let her feelings go beyond friendship. What she had failed to mention was that she was madly in love with Noah.
One evening while they were staying at a hotel, Cammie eavesdropped on a conversation Noah was having with her sister:
“You remind me of someone,” he said. “Someone I used to love.” Even though they weren’t dating, Cammie couldn’t helpbut feel a twinge of jealousy every time she saw her sister bonding with him. It boggled her mind how he found Carrie to be more interesting than her.
When they left Georgia, they drove to San Francisco and stayed at a summer home that belonged to the grandparents of their friend Miguel. After three amazing days of surfing, barbeques, and patio parties, the four of them went to a rave on their last day in the city. Carrie had mentioned that she had never been to a rave before, which was why Noah wanted her to experience it.
At 10p.m., Carrie and her friends parked near an abandoned warehouse that was transformed into a party capital for ravers. They got inside with no ID, since Miguel’s cousin was a bouncer.
Carrie was in awe as she absorbed the flashy environment. Masses of people were covered in neon body paint, dancing under laser lights. The atmosphere was like live wire, full of amplified energy.
“This is so amazing!” Carried shouted over the music.
“Come on!” Cammie grabbed her sister’s arm and led her through a crowd. It was going to be a night they would never forget.
??
A DJ was spinning a live set for the past three hours, and the rave had got more crowded than before. Masses of glowing bodies danced in a large crowd, waving glow sticks in the air as the music cross faded to “Behind” by ATB ft. Flanders.
At some point, Noah and Carrie lost Cammie and Miguel as they danced close together. Noah had consumed no alcohol that night, but he was high on Ecstasy. Dripping in sweat, he took off his shirt and noticed the way Carrie’s eyes widened when shesaw his ripped physique; it made him smile as he lost himself in the melodies of heaven, heightening his euphoric state.
Carrie was clad in a plaid miniskirt and combat boots. She had knotted a white vest top at her stomach, showing off her midriff. It was the first time she wore heavy makeup; it was also a first for Noah to see her without glasses on. Carrie had never had this much fun before in her life. The rave was like an initiation, a rite of passage. Her parents always sheltered her from everything they believed to be harmful to her growth. But at that moment, under the strobe lights, she felt free, happy, and in love.
Noah yelled over the music. “This track is a vibe!”
“Never heard it before!” Carrie shouted back. “But I love it too!” She hung her arms over his shoulders as he reached for her waist.
“I wanna kiss you!”
