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No denying the obvious now.
I was slowly falling apart and tired of pushing him away.
“I know I said I don’t need you to protect me, but can we forget about that tonight? I really need you right now.”
At last, I placed my pride beneath my feet and exposed my weakness.
“Sweetheart,” Noah spoke in a soothing voice. “I’ll always protect you, whether or not you want me to, it’s like second nature to me.”
He pulled me in his arms as I buried my face in his chest and cried in silence. All the hurt and agony that I had bottled up inside was finally pouring out.
“Shhh…”—Noah rubbed my back—“it’s okay. I’m here, baby.”
He held me for the longest while, whispering comforting words in my ear. The warmth of his body and gentle caresses were healing and injuring me at the same time. It felt good to be close again. His affection had ripped open wounds that were nowhere near healed in my heart. He made me crave more from him. I desired things he could never give. It was a crushing reality, but one I had to accept. You can’t force someone to want you or love you the same way.
I often remembered that night on the Ferris wheel… That look in Noah’s eyes when I told him I was going back to New York. He didn’t want to lose me. Maybe the only reason he had crossed so many boundaries with me was because he was afraid I’d leave him. Did he have abandonment wounds, as well? If yes, then I felt a thousand times worse. My desolate thoughts only made me cry more.
“Aria, talk to me.”
His chest was my only shield as I hid my face in it.
“Aria…”
A painful lump swelled in the back of my throat.
“You should go. I’m sure Vanessa’s waiting up for you.”
“She’s passed out on sleeping pills upstairs—and even if she wasn’t, I wouldn’t leave you while you’re crying like this.” Noah ran his fingers through my hair. “What’s going on in that pretty little head of yours?”
“A train wreck,” I whispered into his shirt. “I wish I could hold you.”
“You can,” he whispered back, guiding my arm around his waist.
How did I ever end up in a modern-day tragedy? What did I do wrong in life to deserve this?
“Open up to me, Aria. I promise I won’t lecture you. I’ll listen.” Noah’s bedroom voice was unbelievably sexy, even though he wasn’t trying to be sexy.
His hand brushed down my spine, sending chills through my body as I hugged him closer.
“I’m a mess, Noah.”
“Don’t think. Talk. You’ll feel better afterwards.”
I doubt that.If only he were telepathic. It would have saved me the trouble of having to actually say the words.
“I’m afraid.”
“What are you afraid of, angel?” He caressed my back with a lazy hand.
Oh God, not again. Why am I turned on right now?If there was ever a moment where I wished I were asexual, that was it right there. An absent interest in sex would have made me immune to carnal desires.
“Aria, look at me.”
He lifted my chin. There was no way to avoid his penetrating gaze now.
“I know I can pull off a hell of a poker face,” Noah said, “but I’m not heartless.”
“I’m afraid of losing you.”
