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“She was only peripherally aware of what Richard did to me. He hid a lot from her, although he was horrible to her, too. But a lot of times, he’d do things out of earshot or while she was working or running errands.
“She tried to combat the damage he inflicted, but she didn’t know how deeply it all ran. Or maybe she did, I don’t know. I remember coming home from school one day to her crying at the kitchen table. It looked like she’d added up the income she made from her part-time job. I remember she got a better job after that, but it barely paid more. I think she was trying to leave. She just . . . couldn’t.”
I stare at him in shocked silence. I wasn’t sure what happened in Rhett’s childhood, but this . . . my god. Everything makes so much more sense now. His aversions to touch and vulnerability, his struggles with saying he loves us, his avoidance to kneeling for anyone. I think he’s only done that a handful of times since I’ve known him.
“At some point,” Rhett says, “my dad went back and finished medical school. He married Corinne, built this damned house, and had Benny. It’s like we never existed, Wren. He’s completely forgotten about Mom and Sam. And me . . . I may still be alive, but I’m a symbol of his past failures. I’m the thing that ruined his life.
“I just have so many questions, you know? He didn’t want kids. So was Andrew an accident? Or maybe I’m wrong, and he just didn’t wantus.But if that’s true, why does it sound like he’s been treating the boys the same way he treated me? Why has he achieved the life he wanted—” Rhett gestures to the house, “—but he’s still an asshole? How could he abandon us when we needed him the most? And how the hell am I supposed to get answers when I can’t face him again?”
Can’t.My mind snags on that word. Rhett is strong. Powerful. More than that, he’s determined to get revenge on Ludo. But the way I see it, Richard’s neglect also played a part in Sammy’s death, so I don’t understand why Rhett doesn’t want to kill him as well as Ludo.
Unless . . .
No. There’s no way Rhett could be afraid of him.
“I’m so angry, Wren,” he says, and his voice is so heavy. “There’s not a moment that I’m not consumed with it. The hate.” For the first time since we got into the truck, he turns his head and looks at me. “And what I’m about to do . . . it might change the way you look at me. But I need you to know that you never have to be afraid of me.”
“Rhett, I could never—”
“No. You don’t know that. You don’t . . .” He releases a short, frustrated breath. “Richard was never physically abusive, but he still got violent. He’d throw things or punch a wall or kick at the furniture. None of us ever got hit, but I’ll never forget the look of absolute terror in my mom’s eyes whenever he pulled that shit. And the first time he did it in front of Sammy, she burst into tears and ran outside.”
Dread pools in my stomach. I know the feeling he’s talking about.
“I don’t lash out randomly,” Rhett says, his eyes still locked with mine. “I’ve never hurt Ell. I’ve never hurt Oliver. And I will never,everhurt you, Wren.”
“I know that,” I whisper.
“You know that now.” After a moment of hesitation, he reaches out to cup my cheek. And his eyes—it’s like he’s looking into my mind, and he can see every curious, cautious thought. “But you’ve never seen me unleash all my anger. You’ve never seen me take it out on something. Or someone.”
“I suppose that’s true,” I say. “But that’s what I’m ultimately helping you do, isn’t it? You’re not killing Ludo because he’s a horrible person. You’re killing him for revenge. He took Sammy away from you, and you’re angry. More than angry.”
His thumb brushes over my cheek before he retracts his hand. “Yes. But you’ve never seen me do it, Wren. I’m not gonna punch this guy a few times and then go home. By the time I’m done, you won’t be able to recognize him. It’ll be brutal, sweetheart.”
Somewhere in the back of my mind, I’m aware that I probably shouldn’t be attracted to someone who has to turn to murder to manage his anger. But can I really blame him after all he’s been through?
As the reality of the situation settles on my shoulders, I swallow hard. “Just tell me he deserves it.”
“He does. I wouldn’t torture an innocent person.” He searches my face, probably looking for any trace of hesitation. “I can’t tell you exactly what he did. It’s Finn’s business, and he’ll explain it all to you when he’s ready. But he’s not a good person.”
“Then I’m sure I can handle it.” I’m not, but I have to try. “If it gets to be too much, I can step away.”
He nods. “And you . . . you understand? That I know how to control my anger? That I’ll never take it out on you?”
“I understand.”
There’s a beat of silence before he tears his eyes from mine. He puts the truck into drive. “Then we’d better get going.”
Chapter five
Rhett
Finn’sgazeswivelsbetweenme and Wren. When it comes to rest on me, it turns into a full-on glare. “Desensitizing your girlfriend to violence. Please tell me you feel at least a little guilty.”
“Of course I do,” I grit out. I figured he’d react like this when I explained why Wren was with me, but I was hoping he’d let it slide.
“It was my idea,” Wren says with a hint of annoyance.
Chuckling dryly, Finn tells her, “You’ve got guts, you know that? No wonder they like you.”
