AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Alpha Mathsons was rightly furious, but he was putting most of the blame on Lennon. Oh, he was angry at me too, but for going behind his back to find another mate for his son, not for anything that happened that night. That, he solely put the blame on the omega for not pleasing me.
By the time I left that night, I knew he was still angry, but I thought I convinced him that it was my fault. I promised to continue to assist in finding a new spouse for Lennon, this time not behind his back, and compensate him financially if the marriage wasn’t equally beneficial or more so. I made him promise not to take it out on Lennon, and in my naive foolishness, I thought he’d agree.
I received the phone call a month later. “Well, I hope you’re happy.” Alpha Mathsons was almost emotionless as he spoke, maybe just a hint of annoyance in his tone. “Your weak-hearted morals lost me the boy.”
At first, I had no idea what he was talking about, and after minutes of him screaming that he was going to sue me for compensation, I finally got the story out. “The boy could no longer live with the shame of not being able to satisfy you. He killed himself last night.”
Alpha Mathsons’ words rang in my ears long after he hung up.
The following few weeks were . . . rough. I nearly followed Lennon into the afterlife more than once. I was too ashamed and drunk to go to his funeral, another guilt I’d live with for the rest of my life. I didn’t believe his reasoning for his son’s suicide for a second. From some stories I heard from the household later, it seemed more likely that he could no longer tolerate the constant abuse from his father and ended his life for relief.
The reasons didn’t matter though. It was my fault. I lost control, allowed my rut and more violent inclinations to take over, and hurt an innocent omega. And then I took the cowardly way out and caused even more damage. I knew he was in a dangerous situation, and I didn’t do enough about it. Even if I wasn’t the one who committed the act, I may as well have. Lennon was dead because of me.
The day after the funeral, one of the housekeepers came and found me. They had a note Lennon had given them before ending his life, one sealed and written out to me. They made me swear I wouldn’t show it to Mathsons or tell anyone. I promised and then immediately shoved the note in a locked drawer in my desk.
I had pulled it out many times over the years, but I could never open it. Whatever he wrote in there would never be as much punishment as I inflicted on myself daily.
It was that day, as I finished up a bottle of vodka (my tastes were less sophisticated then), that I promised myself that I would never take a mate or be with an omega again. That monster inside of me needed to stay buried deep within, and the only way to be sure of that was to be alone for the rest of my life.
CHAPTER12
Jett
“Alright,get dressed. You’re coming with me.”
I blinked up at an irritated Lyric from the comfort and safety of my bed. I bundled farther into my comforter so that only my eyes were visible. Maybe if I ignored him, he’d go away.
“Jett, I’m not leaving until you get up and start getting ready.”
I groaned and closed my eyes. Maybe this was just a bad nightmare and I’d wake up any moment.
My eyes flew open as I was smacked in the head with a pillow.
“Hey!” I finally sat up and glared at my brother-in-law. He was fully dressed in dark-black pants and a maroon cashmere sweater. He even had boots on and a matching scarf. Where was he going?
“It’s time to get out of bed, Jett,” Lyric said, his tone much softer. He came and sat on the edge and squeezed my ankle. “I can’t even imagine what you’re going through, but I don’t think this is healthy for you.”
Clearly, it wasn’t, but the idea of getting out of bed was . . . painful. When I went to Emerson that night, I’d promised myself I wouldn’t do this, that I would let him go and move on. I hadn’t realized that it would feel like a piece of my soul was missing though. We hadn’t even claimed each other, but I was . . . hollow. That was the best word to describe it. I was half a person and I had no idea how to fix it.
Since I didn’t answer, Lyric continued, “I’m honestly surprised Orion let you do this for over a week already. I thought he’d intervene by now.”
I smiled weakly at him. The concern was evident in his eyes, and I knew I was lucky to have a friend like him, a brother, really, even if I wanted nothing more than for him to go and leave me alone. “I think he feels torn between his loyalty to me and me begging him not to fire Emerson.”
Lyric snorted. “I don’t understand why, but that’s your decision. Though, from what I hear, hehasbeen a right asshole, so Orion might be axing him anyway.”
I shrugged, not really caring. I did my part. He wasn’t losing his job just because he didn’t want to be with me. That wouldn’t be fair to him. It wasn’t Emerson’s fault fate set him up against his will, but if he lost his job because of his own failings, well, that was his problem.
There was an awkward pause in the conversation before Lyric brought it back to whatever he was here for in the first place. “I won’t force you, but please, Jett, come out with me?”
I scrunched my nose. “Where?”
His eyes lit up with excitement. “Oh! Harmony found an omega friendly café! They allow omegas there as long as there’s at least one alpha guard or guardian per group. Arden is going with us obviously.” He rolled his eyes, but I knew he didn’t mind that Arden essentially followed him around like a puppy. The threats against Orion, and by extension Lyric, had settled down some, but my brother was always going to be extra protective when it came to his mate. Besides, there were very few places we were allowed on our own anyway.
“I don’t know, Lyric. You haven’t seen your sister in a while. Maybe you should go alone and spend some time with her.”
Lyric waved away my excuse. “It’s fine! Mo was the one who suggested you come. She really liked having someone else to talk to when you met her.” He paused. “I think she’s pretty lonely now that I’m not there. It’ll cheer her up.”
I was sure this was just a ploy to get me to go, but it was working. I really liked Harmony too, and I understood that loneliness. I lived with it all my life before moving here.
