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Orion scrubbed his face, looking a little lost. He glanced at Gideon, but the man stayed quiet, letting my brother take the lead. “Gideon approached me today about the possibility of a marriage contract with you.”
“What?” The word was out before I could think properly, but seriously, what? Sure, he kept checking up on me, but that meant nothing. He was trying tomarryme? Where did that even come from?
Gideon took over now and turned toward me. “I know you don’t know me well, and I’m not saying we rush. But, if you are amenable, I would like to get to know you better with the goal of you eventually becoming my official mate.”
“Like dating?” I asked incredulously, trying to understand. That was something that just didn’t happen, especially between high-society alphas and omegas. I thought betas might date each other, and maybe even some of the lower class, but it didn’t happen here. You found an appropriate match and you sealed the bond. That was it.
Gideon shrugged and pushed his hair out of his face. “I guess? I mean, on paper we would be engaged, but I’m not asking for a set date or anything. I know you’re, um . . . getting over someone, and I’m not trying to take their place or anything. I just . . .” He awkwardly ran his hand through his hair and chuckled nervously.
I opened my mouth to respond but no words came out. Finally, I managed a sound. “I-I just don’t understand. Not to be disrespectful, but I’m not sure why you would want to be with me.”
Gideon pursed his lips but hesitated.
I looked toward my brother, trying to understand what was happening. Orion gave the other alpha some impressive side-eye. “Tell him the truth, Frost.”
He sighed heavily. “Honestly, I’m under a lot of pressure from my family to take an omega. If I don’t find one soon, my father threatened to find one for me. I’d rather avoid that because I know he won’t take either my or the omega’s interests or needs into consideration.”
“So, I’m better than a random stranger? You don’t know me either.”
He shrugged again. “True. I don’t really know you, but what I do know about you, I like. You’re kind, you’re stronger than you appear, and I don’t know how to explain, it but I’m drawn to you.”
“I have a fated mate,” I blurted, because even if I didn’t want to marry Gideon, I didn’t want to hurt him. “He may have, um, rejected me, but that hasn’t changed my feelings. I’m not sure if I’d ever able to love someone else or feel the connection I have with him. I-I’m sorry. I don’t mean to hurt you.”
Gideon didn’t seem upset though. “I know, Jett. Orion explained to me in general terms what happened that night. I understand. Honestly, I’m not attracted to you in that way. I’m drawn but it’s more friendly. I want to be near you and become true friends with you but notbewith you, not in that sense.” He looked down, embarrassed, “I-I don’t feel that kind of attraction toward anyone if I’m being truthful. Or, um, feel any interest in sex.”
Okay . . . In one way, that made me feel better. I didn’t want to string Gideon along. He deserved better than that. I wasn’t sure what he meant by not having sexual attraction toward anyone, but it was a relief he didn’t want me that way. Even thinking about it felt like a betrayal to Emerson, even if my mate never wanted me in return. On the other hand, there was a practical matter that might be an issue.
“What about my heat though? I-I can’t really avoid that.”
Gideon’s cheeks heated. “That won’t be an issue.” That explained nothing, but I didn’t get to ask further questions because Orion interrupted.
“That’s something that can be ironed out later if you agree to this. I want to get the basics down first.” I nodded my understanding. My heat shouldn’t come till after the holidays, so I had some time to lay down a plan.
Orion continued, “If you both agree, I’d consent to some supervised dates over the next few weeks. They have to be in private so society doesn’t shit a brick, but it would give you both a chance to determine if this is the right path. If all goes well, I’d like to announce the engagement on Christmas Eve at the dinner I’m hosting.”
The color drained from my face. “B-but Christmas Eve is only a couple weeks away, alpha.”And maybe Emerson will still change his mind.I kept that thought to myself.
“You don’t have to get married yet. We don’t even have to set a date. Setting an engagement gives both of you some wiggle room. Gideon will get his family off his back, and you’ll have some protection when your heat does come. We won’t get into details about how that will work right now, but it’s considered acceptable for your fiancé to take you through your heat.” He paused before muttering under his breath, “It’ll also give me a break from the constant inquiries before I end up murdering one of those assholes too.”
I didn’t get a chance to even comprehend that before my brother moved on. “You don’t have to make your decision now, but if you do agree to test the waters so to speak, we can arrange some meetings to start right away so you can make your decision on a potential engagement before Christmas.”
Goddess, was it getting hot in here? I pulled on my collar, trying to get some air. I jumped as a hand touched my arm.
I looked up into Gideon’s kind eyes. “No pressure. I won’t be offended either way. I can leave as well and your brother can reach out to me if you make a decision.”
I gulped in air as my lungs finally expanded. This was okay. There was no need to panic. I wasn’t committing to anything. “I-I’d like to get to know you a bit if that’s alright? I-I’m sorry. I can’t say yes on the engagement yet. But it’s a maybe?”
Gideon smiled. “That’s perfectly alright, Jett. I’ll set up something with Orion then.”
“Y-yes, alpha. Okay.” I took another deep breath and looked at my brother. “A-and we can keep it quiet for now? At least until Christmas Eve?” I hoped I didn’t hurt Gideon’s feelings with my suggestion.
Orion nodded sharply. “Yes, that’ll be fine. I’m sure you’re exhausted, Jett. You’ve had a rough few weeks. We’ll work out the details and I can talk to you more in the morning.”
I should be offended that I was being shooed out of the room, but I was honestly relieved. I was tired of thinking. Exhausted really. And not just physically, but emotionally. This had been harder than running away and jumping borders as an omega. I was terrified the whole time, but there was hope that kept me going. The last week, all I felt was empty, my well completely dry.
I climbed to my feet, politely said goodbye to both alphas, and took my leave. The tears began before I made it down the hallway, but I blinked them back. I’d let them come tomorrow. All I wanted to do today was sleep. When I got to my room, I closed and locked the door and collapsed in my bed. I couldn’t process anymore. Tomorrow. All of this would be easier to deal with tomorrow.
CHAPTER14
