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Every thrust felt like ownership. They were long and purposeful, making sure I felt every inch as he moved inside of me.
“This hole is mine, Jett. Every inch of you is mine. I can’t wait to get to know you. To know every bit of you. And not just your body. I want to know everything about you. There will be no secrets between us. I’ll make this right. I’ll work day and night until there’s not an ounce of doubt left about us in your mind.”
I had to squeeze my eyes shut to keep from crying again. It was all just too much. I wanted to believe his words so badly, but after weeks of constant rejection, it was hard. Even as he filled me, marking me as his, I struggled to silence my doubts. His words, his movements as he filled me, his scent all said he was telling the truth, that I was truly his, and yet I couldn’t stop the uncertainty.
Emerson’s pace faltered, so I opened my eyes only to see his sad gray ones watching me. “It’s okay, love. I haven’t proved anything yet.” He dipped down and kissed my lips with more of the possessive ownership that I craved. “But please stay with me. Don’t disappear behind the shield. I know it’s hard, but try to trust me with your heart?”
I swallowed and desperately dug my fingers into his skin. I was going to draw blood, but Emerson didn’t stop me. He seemed to understand that I needed him closer and he dropped lower. Almost all his body weight was on me, making it hard to breathe, but I didn’t care. His thrusts were more shallow at this angle, but it didn’t stop him from moving. His hand found my throat and I tilted up, giving him access. I needed to feel him everywhere.
His fingers tightened. “That’s it, sweetheart. Let it all go. I have you. You can’t go anywhere and neither can I. You’re mine.” He sucked in some air. “And I’m yours.”
Everything happened at once. His grip around my throat tightened even more, and between his body weight and his hand, I began to see stars in the corner of my vision.
Just as I thought I’d pass out, he backed off just enough for me to gulp in a much needed breath. I was still getting my bearings as his teeth sunk into my shoulder and his pace began to falter. My own release hit me full force just as Emerson’s hips jerked with his orgasm.
I watched in amazement as he dropped his head back and howled, like a real animal, and then I felt it. His knot.
Tears spung to my eyes again as my mate finally began to thicken inside of me. This was it. This was truly real.
Up until this moment, I still held onto the fear that he’d pull put before his knot formed. That he’d still hesitate to take me this way. I didn’t realize how much I needed to feel this to believe we were moving forward until it was happening.
Emerson panted heavily as he collapsed. “That’s it, sweetheart. Do you feel that? Do you feel me filling you so well? It’s perfect. You were right. We are meant to be. Nobody else could take my knot as well as you do. No one else can make me feel the way you do. We belong together, Jett, and I’m not going anywhere.”
My alpha continued to whisper soft endearments and gentle praise as his knot expanded to its full size. It was so thick that it was slightly uncomfortable, but I had never been happier than I was in this moment. Emerson was right. It was perfect.
He adjusted our position so he wasn’t crushing me and lightly kissed my head as I curled into him as best I could while stuck to him. We’d be like this for a while, but however long it took wouldn’t be long enough.
“That’s it, love. Just relax. You’re doing so well.” I smiled into his chest, my eyes drifting closed.
“Don’t leave. Even after . . . after you come down. Please don’t leave.”
He kissed my head again. “I’m not going anywhere, Jett. I swear.”
My eyes closed against my will, and I held onto the hope that his words were true.
CHAPTER19
Emerson
I opened my bleary eyes,a small headache forming behind them. I was immediately hit with the feeling of being somewhere unfamiliar, and I knew instantly that I wasn’t in my own bed.
The events from the previous night hit me like a freight train, and I became very aware of the presence next to me: Jett.
I turned toward him and allowed myself a moment to just watch him. He was still sound asleep and completely naked. His body was littered with my bite marks and bruises, from rounds two and three, yet he slept soundly with a small smile on his face as he nuzzled closer to me.
I ran my fingers through his hair, wild from last night and sleep, and gently kissed his head. We had a long road ahead of us, but in this moment, none of that mattered. Jett was sleeping next to me, and I was still here. I was a little afraid that I wouldn’t be and would let fear take hold again and run, but I didn’t. I stayed. The first time was the hardest and I somehow survived.
It brought immense relief knowing I was capable of keeping the promises I whispered to Jett last night. I was far from perfect, and I had a lot to make up for, but maybe I wasn’t the monster I always believed myself to be. Maybe Jett would be the one to get me to believe that.
My omega’s breathing changed, and I knew he was beginning to wake up. The sudden scent of arousal made it clear, even if he hadn’t started to hump my leg.
“Morning, sweetheart,” I whispered, kissing his hair again.
He smiled but didn’t open his eyes. “Please tell me this isn’t a dream. I’m not opening my eyes if it is.”
He was partially kidding, but there was enough truth in his question to break my heart. How did my misguided attempt at protecting him end up hurting him worse?
Unsure on how else to prove it, I leaned down and nipped his earlobe. His eyes flew open as he scowled at me. “You’re not dreaming.”
