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I switch the TV off, my joy in watching it officially gone. Probably for good, unfortunately. Guess I’ll stick with books. Not that it’ll be a hardship to keep my nose glued to the page or my e-reader. Aside from the few shows I actually cared about, it’s my preference on how I spend my time anyway.
Getting to my feet, I stretch and look around my place, feeling a bit claustrophobic as it seems like the walls are closing in on me. It’s a self-imposed exile, albeit one I’ve instituted out of necessity, but I’m getting cabin fever nonetheless.
Maybe I should get a dog. He or she will recognize friend from foe better than I can now. They have instincts that warn them whether the person is good or bad.
I could ask Finn to go with me, help me decide which canine to get. If I go alone, I’d probably want to get all of them because my heart would hate leaving even one there. Grabbing my cell to text my brother to see if he’s available to take me, I click on our message thread and quickly type out my idea, hitting send right as there’s a knock on my door.
Unless Finn gained psychic powers since we last talked, the odds of it being him are slim. It can’t be our parents either. A fact that has my anxiety spiking because I don’t know who it is. And I still won’t even when I see their face.
And, as I haven’t given sign names to anyone outside my family yet, whoever is here won’t be able to reassure me that I know them.
That I’m safe with them.
If I know them.
If I’m safe with me.
I begin to hyperventilate at the uncertainty, my hand squeezing the cell I’m still holding. Spots are clouding my vision as the attack gains strength, making it hard to see my screen to contact Finn. Thank heavens I can use the voice assistant to complete the task for me instead of having to do it manually by pushing the buttons.
“Miss Carver?” I don’t know that voice. It’s not one I’ve heard before, yet I like how it sounds, and the effect it’s having on my panic. I find myself calming down as he continues. “My name is Detective Daniel Devlin. I go by Danny, otherwise I feel as if I’m in trouble.” I can hear the laughter in his words and my sight is slowly returning to normal the longer he talks. “Captain Shivers wanted me to speak with you. He extends his deepest apologies for your experience with Officer Guinness and vows that will not occur again.” Tears prick my eyes at the sincerity coming from him, as well as the reminder of how embarrassed I was when that jerk tried to trick me. “If I’d been there, I would’ve kicked his ass and gladly taken the rip for it.” That’s muttered, meaning it’s for him only, except I catch it and smile.
I don’t need a dog’s intuition to reassure me my visitor is a man worthy of trust.
Taking a chance, and praying the consequences aren’t as dire as the last time I did such a thing, I open the door with only a slightly visible shaking in my hand.
“Detective Devlin,” I greet him, thankful I sound almost normal. Something I haven’t felt since receiving the diagnosis that now makes me feel broken.
Though my parents and Finn have repeatedly told me I’m not.
They assure me that I’m still perfectly me, the same Rae I’ve always been.
But they’re wrong. I’m different and I’ll never be that version again.
I’ll adapt to, and accept, this one eventually. I just need time to come to terms with it.
Except, if the killer has his way, I won’t have it.
Yet something tells me Daniel Devlin will do whatever he can to ensure that doesn’t happen. Or perhaps I’m just projecting that dedication because I’m scared.
“Afternoon,” he says politely, which I return. He repeats why he’s there and I accept the apology his captain extended. Though it’d mean more coming from the idiot who treated me that way, if it was sincere, except I’m not ready to deal with him again just yet.
If ever.
“Thank you.”
While I feel as if I can trust him, I also know I’m compromised and can’t exactly verify him by looks alone. “The captain also explained your situation. What can I do to confirm I’m who I claim?”
That thoughtfulness, the offer given without any hint of irritation or impatience, touches my heart. “Do you have any identifying factors the captain would know?”
“Yes.” He then removes his left arm from his coat, rolls up the sleeve, and displays a good amount of tattoos. All of them beautiful.
“What number do I call?”
“Google the local police department and ask the desk sergeant to connect you to Captain Shivers. I’d provide it myself, but that wouldn’t exactly be solid proof considering I could have that set up.”
Doing as he suggested, I hold as I’m transferred. “Shivers.”
“Captain, this is Rae Carver.” When I pause, he offers his sympathies and another apology for his man. “Thank you. There’s a guy here claiming to be Detective Devlin, sent at your request. Since I can’t confirm who he is in the usual way, he’s shown me his tattoos.”
