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The captain chuckles. “A lot of them, aren’t there?” I laugh. “I don’t know each of them, but I can describe a couple, if that helps.” I tell him it does, listen to his descriptions, find both, and blow out a relieved breath. I thank him, end the call, and look at the detective. “Would you like to come in?”
“Only if you’re comfortable with that.” I don’t verbally let him know I am, but do so instead by swinging the door open and stepping back so he can enter. Once we’re sitting, him on the couch and me in the chair to his right, I wait. “Shivers explained your situation.” I watch him, seeking any kind of pity in his voice or mannerisms. I neither want nor need it. It’s a wall that went up without my knowledge, but once it was in place, I didn’t contemplate knocking it down. I hide behind it and will probably continue to do so for longer than I should. “You strike me as a smart woman.”
“A appreciate that,” I say, taking it as the compliment I believe he means it to be.
He smiles, letting me know my assumption was correct, though his next words wipe my own from my face. “Which means you’ve realized, as I and Shivers have, that you’re in a precarious position.” That is not a question, it’s matter of fact and I treat it as such by not even bothering to deny it. I have and I am. “The captain also sent me here to assure you we take what you saw seriously and to get your statement.” A quick pat to my hand in sympathy, not for what happened to me but for what I saw. A distinction I’m grateful for. “Should it be deemed the best option for you, protection will be provided while we investigate the murder and search for our suspect.” A kind, and necessary, offer, yet it presents its own problem. How will I keep track of numerous people coming and going in my life? How will I feel safe when the very men and women there to protect me will also contribute to my unease?
My mind is whirling like a sprinter has taken the reins, my heart is racing, and my hands won’t stop fidgeting in my lap. My breathing speeds up, my throat constricts, and I can’t make any of it stop. “I…” hyperventilate. That’s what I do instead of voicing my concerns as I’d intended.
“What’s your favorite color?” Detective Devlin asks, the randomness of it helping me to focus on him and not the panic monster taking root inside me, trying to claw its way out.
“Yellow,” I respond, not even realizing the runner inside my head is slowing to a jog and Devlin is setting the pace. What the heck? Why does he have this impact on me? Honestly, right now, with my chest not feeling so tight? I don’t care why, just that he does.
“I can see that.” He nods as if that makes complete sense, despite having known me maybe ten minutes. Eyeing him, hoping he’ll catch my silent request for him to expand on that, I’m relieved when he does. “Sunshine.”
Yeah, I love the sun. Can’t get enough of it, which makes sequestering myself away from it hurt so much. My daily runs have been put on hold, as has working in my yard, on my garden, tending to my flowers, and my morning ritual of sitting on my porch drinking that first cup of coffee.
My second, too, if I’m running ahead of schedule.
“I adore it,” I confirm. “Being outdoors soothes me.”
**Danny**
Does she recharge the sun or does it recharge her? I’m thinking it’s a toss-up and could go either way.
I hate that we’re meeting under these circumstances, more so because of what she witnessed and her injuries following it, yet I’m thankful as hell she’s now in my world.
Can already feel herbecomingmy world.
The pull I feel for this woman is mind boggling. Pretending I can be around her and not act on it is the very definition of insanity, because I’m going to do it over and over again.
Perhaps, when the threat to her is dealt with, I can ask her out.
Not sure if her case no longer being active rids me of the rules prohibiting pursuing her.
I could look that up, do some research to have all the facts.
But, if I don’t, I have plausibility deniability on my side and that can work in my favor.
“I’m sorry,” I say, simultaneously apologizing to Rae when I realize she was talking to me and preemptively to Shivers for knowing I have no chance in hell of ignoring what Rae does to me.
“That’s okay,” she assures me. “I was just asking if you like the outdoors.”
“Love them,” I answer, already visualizing family hikes and camping trips with the future versions of us.
“Could you…” she stops and shakes her head no. “Never mind. It was overstepping and far beyond your job description.”
“And now my curiosity is piqued.”
“It’s not your problem,” she tries to hedge.
“You know, I dig for a living. I’ll get it out of you.”
“I’m a vault.”
“If you don’t tell me, I’ll have to arrest you.”
“For what?” She demands to know.
