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I shake my head. “Just please, one of you,” I plead, glancing at Zane and Eldon, even chancing a look toward Brax, but it’s Eldon who steps closer.
He swipes his thumb over my temple, my heart pounding wildly, but the second his nose wrinkles, I know it’s not working.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
“Nothing’s happening, Raven. I don’t understand.”
Hiding my face in my hands, my breathing is coming in shallow bursts again, the panic consuming me once more as my father’s words replay in my mind.
“When the time comes and your magic finds your soul again, they will either want to kill you or use you, there’s no in between. You want the latter and that’s what I’m going to be able to aid you with, Raven.”
My mother’s warning piling on top does nothing to calm me. “I thought it would be safer to hide you, but I was wrong. I thought those who loved you would only want the best for you, but I was wrong. I thought you would be safer without your powers, but I was wrong. If what the seer said is true, your best defense… is you. All that matters is that you trust no one.”
No one. Trust no one.
I don’t feel any different, I don’tfeelanything new, anything living inside of me, unsuppressed, not even a flicker. Yet her final words haunt me. I was always my own defense before I came here and learned to rely on them.Trust no one.
“Raven, you’re going to need to explain to us what’s going on,” Creed states, his voice seeping through the fog I’m lost in, but I shake my head.
Turning to face him, I roll my shoulders back, a numbness washing over me like I’ve never felt before. “Actually, I think it’s the complete opposite.”
Zane grabs my arm gently, frowning down at me. “What’s going on, Raven?”
“I need some space.”
“Space from what?” Eldon asks, confused by everything unraveling, but it’s better now than later.
“I just need you out of my room.” I fold my arms over my chest, holding myself tight as they glance between each other.
“Why?”
“I just need to be alone,” I bite, my anger not even remotely aimed at them, but after the events of today, they’re the ones who are going to feel it.
“Raven, I don’t know what happened with your parents, but whatever this is, pushing us away isn’t going to help,” Brax grunts, and I scoff.
“You’ve got some fucking nerve telling me that pushing people away isn’t going to help. How’s that working foryou?” I hate the words as soon as I say them but there’s no taking them back now.
“It’s not the fucking same and you know it.”
“Isn’t it?” I stare him down, pleading with him to just leave so I can think, be alone, and figure out what my next move should be. I’m protecting us all, they just can’t see that. Not that they would be able to without the bigger picture but I don’t really know shit either.
“Dove, please just—”
“Just get out,” I yell, hating the hurt in Zane’s eyes as I point toward the door. I’m panting, steam on the verge of pouring from my ears as they all gape at me. It takes three short breaths for them to nod in reluctance, trailing toward the door one after the other.
My soul hurts with every step they put between us, every inch I ask for. It’s a double-edged sword and I’m going to feel the sharp sting either way.
Brax stands to the side for each of them to walk past before he grabs the door handle. I’m ready to hear the door click shut but he fixes his stern eyes on mine. “Enjoy your space, Raven.”
He slams the door with more force than I expect and I jump slightly. Flopping down onto the bed, I look down at my hands. They don’t look any different. How can I look no different yet feel so constricted all at once?
I’m lost, alone, and uncertain. Just like I was in Shadowmoor.
* * *
I expect more of a challenge to get out of the house, but it seems my bitchiness and need for space pushed all of the guys into their rooms. So when I step into the lounge in a brown sweater and black leggings, with my boots fastened high, I’m met with silence.
Guilt twists in my gut but I double down on the numbness that likes to take hold of me as I quietly slip out the front door. I walk to the end of the path and wait a few minutes, expecting one of them to follow me, but no one comes and I take that as my cue to get on with it.
