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Marching down the pathway back toward the academy, I only come across two people. Everyone else is either in their houses or the shopping district. Even when I step into the halls I find them mostly barren. The few people I do run into don’t pay me any mind, wrapped up in their own tasks instead.
My boots echo off the marble floor as I cut through the halls until I find myself at the medical center. Tension starts to creep up my spine and nausea threatens at the back of my throat again. I stop outside the same door as earlier, straining my ears to listen for anyone on the other side, but I get nothing.
I take a deep breath for strength before rapping my knuckles against the frosted glass panel. When I count to ten and no one answers, I try the handle and the door slowly creaks open. It’s completely dark so I search for the light switch, but even the glow doesn’t reveal anyone or anything.
They really just did that to me and left without another word? Maybe I shouldn’t be surprised at this point. It’s bullshit. All of it.
Closing the door behind me, I step further into the room before taking a seat at the foot of the bed again. The urge to scream and cry burns beneath the surface but I bottle it up. They don’t deserve anything else from me, not after I pleaded with them earlier and they did it anyway.
I have no recollection of what happened after my world went black, no idea what the process entailed, how invasive it could have been; nothing.
With a sigh, I stand, hands on my hips as my chin dips to my chest. What the fuck am I supposed to do now? I need to go home. There’s nothing for me here. Scanning the room one last time before I leave, my gaze focuses on a circular cut out card on the far cabinet.
I don’t know what draws me closer, but I’m reaching for it without even thinking, and I gasp when I see it’s an image of me with Mama. I must be four, maybe five, but I can definitely tell it’s before Shadowmoor. The old house looms in the background. Lifting it closer, my thumb skims over the image, my heart aching, and I’m not even sure what for anymore.
“I knew you would come back… or I was hoping at least.” I startle at the sound of my mother’s voice and turn to find an astral projection of her sitting on the bed where I had been moments ago. Sadness consumes her features, her bottom lip trembling as she looks down at her lap. “It’s done, Raven. The suppression has been lifted. It’s not going to happen overnight, but your magic is coming. Now only time will tell whether the seer was correct or not.”
If they could just tell me what the seer said to begin with then I would at least know what I’m up against.
“You’re not a Void, Raven, and if what the seer says is true, you’re far from it,” she continues, still offering me nothing as I stand here helpless. But despite that, I know if she was here in the flesh, I would throw myself at her. “Despite all of that, you’re my daughter, the purest soul I’ve ever known, and that’s not going to change. I’m sorry this has turned into your world. Maybe I shouldn’t have tried to prevent the inevitable, but I guess we’ll never know and I’m sorry for that. I’m sorry decisions were made on your behalf without your input. I just felt like a harder, darker life was still safer than The Monarchy…” She shakes her head, cutting short the important facts once again. “I love you so much, sweet girl.” She lifts her head, looking right at me even though she’s not even here, but it’s like she knew exactly where I would be.
“I love you too,” I whisper, hating that today's events don’t seem to change that.
“Remember that you are strong, brave, fearless, and resilient. Keep being you and everything is going to be okay. Follow your heart, find solace in the shadows, and take down the dawn.”
She disappears with a blink, leaving me helpless with adrenaline coursing through my veins. All of this is based on anif, and I think that’s what I hate the most. Now only time will tell, but one thing seems to be true.
I’m not a Void.
29
BRAX
I’m quite sure she thinks I don’t know that she snuck out last night after she blasted everyone with her wicked tongue and banished the fools tripping over themselves for her. I’m not dumb and I can hear everything, including the creak of a door and her boots on the hardwood floor. I considered telling the others but decided that, if she wanted to sneak out, it was her prerogative. As long as she came back, that’s all that mattered. Otherwise, I’d go hunting.
Just like I did when she didn’t come back to class yesterday, but she doesn’t need to know that.
I’m quickly realizing that’s my obsession; hunting her, capturing her, rescuing her when she’s a damsel in distress. But she’s far from a woman in need. She’s the alluring, wicked evil thrumming through my veins, unknowing of what creeps in my thoughts.
It’s impossible to deny it to myself anymore, not after last night. The memory repeats in my thoughts as I watch her sway her ass in front of us. She thought it would be cute to try and sneak out this morning too, but Zane, Creed, and Eldon were at their wits end, desperate to get back into her good graces and they were ready.
I held back, though. Watching. Waiting.
Last night was revolutionary for me. The list of what I like about her quickly outweighs what I hate. Suddenly, my anger feels predatory, desperate, and almost sinister when I think of all the things I want to do to her.
Swiping a hand over my mouth, I slow my pace, putting a little more distance between me and the group so I can think and appreciate her.
I like that she pushed back last night.
I like that she didn’t give a fuck that we were twisted up with worry over where she was or what had happened.
I like that she put herself first.
I like that she isn’t so doe-eyed over the others that she relented to appease them.
I like that she was on the verge of delirium.
I like seeing her a little unhinged, even if I still don’t know why. That’s going to change.
