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“Yes, I’m safe. I think anyway. Looking after myself as best I can and eating a lot,” I paused. “Eating for two, actually.” I finished quickly.
The silence on the other end of the phone was deafening. “Eating for two?” she asked incredulously. “Are you…?”
“Yes.”
“Oh no! Did that monster Alex get to you before you ran?”
“No, Mom,” I said. “I changed my name and looks. Met a guy. I don’t know if it’s going to work or if we will even be together when I see you next, but I accidentally got pregnant. And I’m keeping it.”
“Oh, my goodness. That’s a lot to take in.”
“I know. I’m sorry for telling you like this. I want to come home,” I said.
“I know baby, let’s just wait until it’s safe,” mom said. “I don’t think it’s a good time to tell your dad your, uh, new.”
I nodded into the phone and bit my lip as it quivered.
“But let’s just see what happens. I’ll message you when I’m away from the house okay?” mom said.
“Yes,” I felt tears streaming down my cheeks.
“Okay, I love you,” Mom whispered and hung up.
I staggered up the stairs to the loft and crawled into bed, pulling the covers pulled over my head. If I wasn’t feeling terrible before, I sure as hell felt awful now.
Warwick came back from his run, sweaty and tanned. He took a shower in the ensuite bathroom, and I longed to go to him and have him reassure me that I could trust him and that everything I’d felt was real—but I didn’t. I remained in bed with the covers pulled until he came out.
“Sarah?” he said as his weight dipped the mattress. “Are you okay?”
I nodded from deep in my comforter cave. “Yeah.”
“I’m coming in,” Warwick said and pulled the covers off me briefly.
I felt his naked body slide in next to me, and his strong arms wrapped around me. He held me like that for a long time and said nothing. I relished the feeling of him and imagined he was more than the man who hid me from my poor life choices. I imagined he was my husband and that we were happy and in love and free.
Warwick held me tighter when he felt the sobs rise from me, and a part of me knew I could trust him. I had so much trauma from the last few weeks, though. I wasn’t even sure I could trust myself. When I finally stopped crying, Warwick tilted my head towards him.
“Sarah, you’ll be able to go home soon,” he said. “Just another few weeks. I promise.”
“Okay.”
What else could I do but agree with him? “I guess I should go and make some food. Are you hungry?”
Warwick nodded. “Yeah, but if you’re not feeling well, I can make it.”
I flipped the covers off me. I wanted to get up and get my mind off of the doom and gloom. “I’ve got it. Pasta okay?”
“Sure. But do we have any? I didn’t buy it.”
“We’re good,” I said and walked to the kitchen. The pantry was stocked with everything I needed to make fresh pasta. Warwick bought eggs and milk, so I was all set.
I might as well show off my skills before I go.Can’t hurt to let him know what he’s missing when I’m not with him.
I knew this was a bit morbid and mean, but I couldn’t help myself. I made homemade pasta bowties and an Alfredo sauce with bacon.
“This is amazing,” Warwick said when I put the food in front of him. I smiled. Moments like this felt like we were a real couple. It might have been an illusion, but for now, it seemed to be these pockets of normalcy that kept me going.
Chapter Fifteen
