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Casey shrugged one shoulder. “Look at him. He’s as big as a boat.”
“Fair.”
“After my grandpa retired, he and my grandma started fostering a lot of animals, and Cheeky and Boat are the two they ended up keeping. They love those dogs like children. Hence the mugs they gave everyone in the family.”
“That’s a lot cuter than I expected.”
He raised his mug toward me. “Cheers.”
“Cheers. To Boat and Cheeky.”
We clinked the mugs and took our shots of whiskey. The world around me didn’t feel like it was crashing down anymore, but I still had a knot of guilt in my chest that was growing bigger by the minute.
“Listen,” I said. “We had fun. A lot of fun. Okay? We can just leave it at that. It was a hookup like any other, and we will go back to our normal lives and forget about each other starting tomorrow.”
“Right,” he said softly, looking down at the contents of his mug. “We can just… forget each other.”
I bit the inside of my cheek. He didn’t sound like he believed it any more than I did.
There was no chance I was forgetting any part of this night, and we both knew it. Even now, sitting across from him with silly coffee mugs, was more comforting than it should have been. Iwantedto stay here. I liked being with him.
But there was also no chance that we could ever be a part of each other’s lives.
“Thank you again,” I said before downing the rest of my whiskey in one gulp.
“Whoa, there,” Casey said, eyeing my mug with a bit of concern as I put it down on the table. “Didn’t think we were racing to finish our drinks.”
“I need to get back. And after that drink, I’m calling a cab.”
“At least let me call one for you—”
“I’ll be fine, Casey,” I interjected. “I’ve been on my own for years, I think I can handle one night.”
The hurt in his eyes was visible, and I had put it there. His lashes were two dark rows, glancing down at the table, now.
“Right,” he said softly.
Now I had even more guilt piled on top of what was already there. It felt like there was a steady storm inside me, now threatening a downpour.
“Sorry,” I said quickly. “I didn’t mean it to sound quite so harsh.”
I reached out a hand and squeezed his shoulder. Finally, he smiled, even though there was still some amount of bittersweetness behind it.
“We had fun,” he said.
“We did.”
“Goodnight, Casey,” I said, grabbing my jacket and heading back out his front door. As I waited outside for my ride, I expected him to come follow me out. I didn’t know what I wanted. One more kiss? A goddamn hug? I shouldn’t have wanted him to come outside at all, and still some part of me wished for it like a drug.
But he didn’t come out. He was being polite, after all, and respecting what I’d said I’d wanted.
For the better.
My ride pulled up and I stepped in. Back to reality. Back to real life, before Casey had taken one night and made it a memory.
Ihadto forget about him.
* * *
