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“Well, would you look at that,” I said as I walked up to Justin a week later. “Traveling clearly has changed you. That haircut is killer, Jus.”
I said a little silent prayer of thanks for the fact that things instantly felt normal now that Justin was back in town. He didn’t have to know anything about what I’d done with Casey, and it would stay that way forever.
“Sure hope the haircut looks good,” Justin said, “because I paid big bucks for it when I was in Manhattan.”
Ever since high school, Justin had been a bit of a hippie. I’d thought it was funny, watching him go for the same style of clothes that I’d briefly been into as a kid. He’d always had a free wheeling style, and longish, shaggy hair. But since I’d last seen him, he’d gotten a fresh, cropped haircut, short on each side and a little longer on top.
It looked great, but Justin was my son, and I’d support any haircut he wanted, even if it was neon green spikes all over his head.
I came over and pulled him into a hug. “Good to see you.”
“Good to see you too, Dad.”
We were outside our favorite Christmas tree lot in Boulder. We’d been coming every year for Justin’s whole life, even back when I’d still been together with his mother.
“Well, you’re in town for a week, but we’re going to get you the best Christmas tree on this lot.”
“I’m ready to fight old ladies for it,” Justin said.
“Oh yes,” I told him. “I expect at least a few fistfights tonight. If we don’t get thrown out of this lot, we haven’t done our job.”
Justin laughed. “Let’s get in there. Oh, and Case just texted me and said he’ll be here in five.”
I froze. “Case?”
Justin nodded. “He texted from a red light. Said he just got down the mountain.”
I swallowed hard.
Holy shit. He had invited Casey tonight?
“I thought you said you might meet up with guys from yourworkhere tonight.”
Justin glanced up at me, cocking his head to one side. “Nah,” he told me. “I guess I was telling you about Ollie and Zach from work, but Case is who I invited to pick out my Christmas tree. I’ve told you about Case before, plenty of times.”
“Right,” I said. “Right.”
“You’ll love him. Don’t worry.”
Something ricocheted around in my chest.
It had been a week since my night with Casey. I’d spent a few days thinking about it way more than I should have, usually at night before falling asleep. But by now, I had successfully convinced myself that I could put the memory of Casey into a box, and shelve it away in my mind.
That shelf had just come toppling down.
“Holy shit, look at that one,” Justin said, pointing toward a Christmas tree right near the front of the entrance. “I know you’re going to tell me I’m being too hasty, but that might be the winner already.”
He started in toward the entrance, walking under the wood and pine awning that led into the lot. The air had been chilly all night, but now I shivered a little. I knew it was because of my nerves.
“Yeah,” I called out, finally following behind Justin. “Uh, it looks great.”
He furrowed his brow as I walked up. “Earth to Dad,” he said. “Usually you would yell at me ‘til your face was blue if I expressed any desire for the first tree I walked past.You’ve gotta see all your options, blah blah blah.”
“I neveryellat you, and you know it,” I said, taking a deep breath. “But yes. You’re nuts if you think you’re picking a tree before seeing each one in this lot.”
Justin laughed. I suddenly found myself wishing I’d worn something nicer tonight—maybe a nice scarf, or a leather jacket, instead of my thick flannel and simple black coat. The only consolation was that Justin seemed oblivious to my sudden nervous energy. He was happily going from tree to tree, weaving in between other people bundled up out here in the cold.
I heard Casey before I saw him, a few minutes later.
