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“No!” I cried as tears filled my eyes.
“You goin’ to whore yourself out?” he roared.
“No! Please…my arm!” I struggled to get free, knowing things could go very badly for me.I should have run!
This was definitely not the first time Clive had turned his rage on me. I had received regular injuries and a few beatings from him in my time there, but this was really bad timing. I wanted to make it to the meeting I had planned with the guys desperately, and if Clive beat me I wouldn’t. There was no way I could let the guys know what Clive was capable of. They would make me report him to my case worker, then I’d be moved and that wasn’t an option. My guys were the only friends I had ever had, and I didn’t want to leave them. I had endured a year with Clive just so I could stay close to them and I refused to lose them now.
“Nah,” Clive scoffed as he tossed me down to the ground, finally releasing me. My arm throbbed as I cradled it to my body and got to my feet as fast as I could. I knew he’d take his chance to kick me if I stayed down. “Don’t suppose anyone’d pay to touch you, would they?” he sneered as he looked me up and down with disgust.
I took my chance and backed towards the door, not taking my eyes from him the whole time. As soon as my hand touched the door handle I ripped it open and fled through it, not even bothering to close it as I went. Clive was yelling after me, but I couldn’t make out what he was saying over the pounding of my heart in my ears.
As soon as I rounded the corner and was out of sight of the house, I stopped and took in some much-needed oxygen between sobs. My arm was still throbbing and it hurt to move back and forth. I hoped it wouldn’t bruise where Clive had been holding it, but I was pretty sure it would. Tears ran down my cheeks as I fought to calm myself down, but the thought of two more years of dealing with that was hard to process. Could I really handle two more years of fear like that?
I was weighing that question in my mind as I walked to the park where I had agreed to meet the guys. I had cleaned my face up as best I could with the corner of my t-shirt and I was much calmer, on the outside anyway.
All of my fears, worries, and questions stopped the moment I spotted them, sat underourwillow tree, in a quiet, lesser walked portion of the neighborhood park. Hunter spotted me first, glancing up from whatever he had been doing on his cell. He reached his hand up and waved as a smile crossed his handsome face. He was dressed in black jeans and a black t-shirt – his trademark look. His dark brown hair needed a cut and was flopping into his eyes,
“Hey!” he greeted me as I got closer. That made the others all look up too. They were sat in a circle under the tree. Kai, who had been on his cell too, slipped it into his pocket as he jumped to his feet and hurried towards me.
“About time,” he told me with a smile. “You’re late.” He instantly wrapped his arms around me, pulling me into a hug the second he got close enough, just as he did every time I saw him. I sighed happily, tears once again battling to fill my eyes as a feeling of safety surrounded me for the brief minute he held me.
“Sorry,” I whispered as we pulled apart from each other.
“You okay?” he asked as he studied my face way too closely.
“Yep,” I lied as I looked away from him before he saw too much. I set off towards the others and Kai followed.
“Mads! Just in time. We totally need your help,” Everett announced. He and his twin, Cameron, were sat working on what looked like history homework, the both of them with a notebook resting against their backpacks on their laps, and a text book on the grass between them.
“He’s right. We’re screwed if we don’t finish this project and the revolutionary war is kicking our asses,” Cameron agreed dramatically. They were identical twins, both almost carbon copies of each other, with sandy blonde hair, trimmed short and neat, and the palest blue eyes. They were both tall and built, but Cameron was more heavily muscled – the only difference between them.
All four of them were handsome and stacked with muscle. They played a lot of football and spent much of their free time working out in a gym on main street that allowed them to use it for free – some scheme to keep kids out of trouble. They told me once it was how they dealt with their issues, but I still couldn’t work out a damn thing about any of them that wasn’t perfect.
I had met them just after arriving with Clive and Julie, at a youth group. Clive had thrown me out of the house because I didn’t have any money to go and buy him some beer. It had been raining heavily, and I was so cold and soaked through. I had wandered into the youth group, hoping to just get warm and dry off a little. My case worker had told me about it when she left me there, advising me to check it out and meet other kids like me. The idea had not appealed until I needed a roof to shelter under.
The guys had been there, also just looking for somewhere dry to hang out. They were foster kids too, all placed together with a couple who lived a few streets over. They had been living there together for almost five years and had become tight in that time – like brothers.
I had been a little scared when they had approached me with a towel, and smiles on their faces, and at first I hadn’t trusted them, sure they were going to make me the butt of some joke they were playing.
But they didn’t give up. They stuck with me through the evening, trying to draw me into games of air hockey and foosball that they were playing. Eventually, swayed by their charm and kindness, I gave in and agreed to play foosball with the twins. They were kind with me, and patient with the fact I really didn’t speak much. We talked a little about the fact we were all foster kids and it bonded us, I guess. That night, as they insisted on walking me home from the group, we exchanged cell phone numbers. They texted me all week, until we met up at the youth center once again.
We quickly became friends after that, and started meeting up at other places, since the youth center really sucked. I still had no idea why they had taken me into their group, but they did and for the first time in my life I had somewhere I felt I belonged.
As time passed they became more than just friends. They looked out for me, made sure I ate when I was with them, since I got very little to eat at home. They made me smile and laugh for the first time in a really long time, and most of all they made me feel secure and cared for – things I had never truly had. They were the reason I put up with Clive’s abuse. Nothing he could do to me was bad enough that I would be taken from the guys I had come to consider my family. I needed them. They were the only light in my dark depressing life.
“I suck at history too, but I can try t-to help,” I offered as I sat down in the grass beside the two of them and glanced at the textbook they had open.
“Let’s eat first. We’re starving, but we were waiting for you,” Hunter suggested as he opened his backpack and pulled out a paper bag, from the sub shop he worked at after school and on weekends. He got a discount there, so he often bought dinner for all of us on his way to our spot under the old willow tree.
I loved it there with them. The willow tree was huge, and it’s branches hung down over us, creating a canopy and giving us a feeling of privacy. It was the beginning of summer, and the branches were covered in luscious green leaves, creating a little shade for us. It was my safe place. My sanctuary – though I think that may have been because of the guys more than the tree.
“Sorry. I had to go home first,” I apologized again.
“It’s fine, sunshine,” Kai assured me with a gentle smile. His jet black hair shone in the sunlight and I wanted to run my hands through it, knowing how soft it felt from the times he had allowed me to do just that. He was part Asian – probably Chinese, he had told me - in heritage, though that was as much as he knew about himself. Like me, he had been in the system since birth and had no idea who his parents actually were. Most of the guys were the same, in fact. Hunter’s mom had gone to jail when he was three years old, and he had been left in the system ever since, and the twins lost their parents in a car wreck when they were five years old. They had a grandfather who remained alive, but he had refused to take them in due to some family issues, and they too had ended up in the system. They, just like me, had been bounced around from home to home until they came together in their current place.
My problem was, they were older than me. Hunter had already turned eighteen, and the others were close behind. Their foster parents had agreed they could stay until they all turned eighteen, when they planned to move out and get a place together, and that was just months away now. They would all graduate soon, and I was terrified I would lose them in the coming months.
“Here Maddie. Plain old turkey, just like you like,” Hunter teased as he handed me a wrapped sub.
