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“We’re fine. Cam got to her really quickly. I think it just scared her more than anything,” I explained.
“You need to keep her away from the fucking pool,” Cam grumbled, and when I looked up at him, the Cam I knew was gone, his face now a hard, unreadable mask. Before I could say anything in reply he bent to grab his soaked shirt and stormed off into the house.
“Ignore him. Are you sure you’re okay?” Kai asked as he reached out to put his hand over mine, then stopped himself and pulled back.
“I’m fine. It was my fault. He’s right, I should have been watching her. It won’t happen again,” I told him as I swung my legs over to the side away from him and stood up. I had to get away from him before I gave in and fell into his strong arms. “I should check on Willow.”
I faltered a little as I moved around him to get into the house and he reached for me, but I swayed out of his reach and managed to stay on my feet.
“Maddie, he sighed tiredly. I looked up at him and saw the concern and a little annoyance in the set of his jaw and the intensity of his eyes.
“I’m fine, Kai,” I assured him. It was getting harder and harder to remember why I was even angry with them when they were all being so kind and caring towards me and Willow. The boys I once knew may have become men in the time we were separated, but inside they were still the kind boys who had befriended a lonely, lost foster kid. I was seeing more and more of the things I had loved about them back then, in who they had become and it was melting my resolve to stay angry with them for what they had done all those years ago.
I gave myself a mental shake as I walked into the house. I was being ridiculous! Yes they had been kind and given us so much, but that didn’t excuse what they had done to me. It didn’t make up for them leaving me alone with no word or explanation. They abandoned me! I needed to remember that, because they could do it all over again and I needed to be on my guard if that were the case. No way would I allow them to destroy me as they did the last time they walked away from me.
I couldn’t help but smile when I walked into the kitchen and found my daughter stood on a chair, elbow deep in a mixing bowl with her one good arm, laughing heartily as she lifted her hand which was covered in what looked like flour.
“Great job, Willow,” Sam told her, despite the fact most of the contents of the bowl now seemed to be spread around it, rather than in it. He was stood at her side, his hand on her back to steady her on the chair, watching her with warmth, and a gentle smile.
“You two cannot be making more cookies,” I laughed, announcing my presence. Willow looked up at me with a wide smile.
“We gots to, mommy. We ran out,” she informed me, very matter of fact.
“That’s because you keep eating them all, peanut,” I countered as I settled into one of the stools at the island with a sigh of relief. It was good to sit and have the ground stop moving under my feet.
“Nu-uh. It’s not me. It’s Kai and Hunter! They eats waaaay too many cookies,” Willow announced, just as Kai followed me inside.
“You wouldn’t be snitching on me, would you Willow?” Kai teased, as he stepped up to the counter at my side.
“Nope! Not me!” she replied innocently, making me laugh.
“Come on, cookie monster. Time to roll these out,” Sam chuckled as he scooped Willow up in one arm and grabbed the mixing bowl with the other, taking both over to the biggest counter across the kitchen.
I watched as he set her on the counter and entertained her while also rescuing the cookie dough and rolling it out.
“She seems happy,” Kai said. Willow chose that moment to let out a high pitched giggle of delight as Sam brushed some flour on the end of her nose.
“She loves it here,” I agreed. “It’s the first time she’s been allowed to be herself without being scared.” I hated that, but it was a fact. Growing up with Edward, she had learned at a very early age to tone down her personality around him. She never laughed or made loud noises when she knew he was close by. She never left her toys or drawings out anywhere near him, knowing if he got in a rage he would destroy them, or worse, scream at her for leaving them out.
In just a few days there at the guys place, that had all changed. She laughed and had fun all of the time. She brought toys from her room to play with Sam and with the guys when she could. She was acting like the three year old she was, and I loved it, but it didn’t ease the guilt I felt about all she had been through because of me and my cowardice.
“And you? Are you doing okay here?” Kai pushed.
“Sure,” I nodded, “I’m great.”
“The truth, Maddie,” Kai insisted.
“I really am good. Willow is happy and safe. That’s all that matters to me.”
“We’re worried about you, sunshine,” Kai admitted. I turned to look at him and saw the genuine concern all over his face. “We know you’re not sleeping well. We’ve heard you screaming in your sleep.”
“Really?” I gasped, embarrassed. “I’m so sorry. Have I been keeping you all awake?”
“We don’t care about that, Maddie. We care about you. You’re pregnant and you’re not sleeping, barely eating, and running yourself ragged to take care of Willow.”
“I’m fine. You don’t need to worry,” I assured him. I hated that they had heard me screaming. I knew it happened. I had suffered with nightmares for a long time. They started after the guys left me, around the same time Clive stepped up his abuse, and they had stayed with me ever since. My life with Edward had only increased the variety of the images that haunted me when I slept.
“You need to let us help you more. I know that you’re still angry with us, but we’re here for you. At least let us help more with Willow. You don’t have to keep her out of our way. We want to spend time with her.”
