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Thankfully, her nightmares seemed to have stopped in the last couple of nights, and she had slept soundly through. I knew it was because she felt safe and happy in the house with the guys. Kai and Hunter had gone out of their way to show her that they would never hurt her, and to make sure she felt safe with them. Sam too. She adored all three of them and I had heard nothing but laughing and squeals of delight come from her in the time we had been there. It was a huge relief to see her settled, but I also worried what would happen when it came time for us to leave. It wasn’t like we could stay there indefinitely. Eventually I would need to get us our own place, and I would need to find a job to support us. My fears over how she would deal with even more change when the time came, was just another stress to add to the mountain I was being crushed by.
So much was going on in my head, that I seemed to have a constant pressure headache. I worried about Edward coming after us, about what Frank would make of the whole situation and what he would do in retaliation. I was terrified about Nico and the guys getting mixed up with those two monsters, and I was terrified about how I would manage if any or all of them decided it was all too much trouble and cast us aside. I worried about the mental scars my daughter would be left with after her father’s actions, and about the unborn child trying to thrive inside of me, amongst all of the chaos I had created. I was terrified I had made a huge mistake in letting Hunter, Kai, and Cam back into my life, and not just because I feared they’d walk right back out of it all over again, but because I had such messed up, confusing feelings for them all. A part of me still hated what they had done to me all those years ago, but a much bigger part of me still had those feelings of teenage love and desire every time I laid eyes on them.
I think, deep down, a huge part of me had always loved these boys and it had never let go. Now I had them back and my feelings just felt so confusing, but also wonderful and right. I wanted them as much today as I had wanted them under our willow tree all those years before, but I knew I couldn’t have them. I had responsibilities that had to come ahead of my ridiculous crush, not to mention they had never once shown signs they ever wanted me in that way anyway. Maybe I should just add ‘delusional’ and ‘desperate’ to my list of flaws. It wasn’t like they were the only guys I was crushing on. Nico was never far from my daydreams either.
Strong, handsome, protective, and kind – the four of them were any woman’s wildest dream. Having the four of them as mine was certainly becoming my wildest dream, anyway. But it would have to remain that way – a dream – because even if for some insane reason any of them were into me, I couldn’t get into another relationship. But what if they did ask me out? Could I even choose who I wanted to date? I had feelings for all four of them and the idea of choosing sounded terrible. I wasn’t sure I could do that.
“Idiot,” I whispered as I realized how ridiculous that thought even was. Like they were going to ask me to choose between them.
I sighed as I turned over again. I had to stop getting lost in these insane thoughts. I needed to focus on the future I could actually see being real. I needed to think about finding work once the baby was born, and on getting money together to put down on a house for the three of us. I needed to get the divorce started from Edward and make sure I had custody of my kids. Willow and my baby were my first priority and always would be.
A loud crash from outside my room had me sitting up, startled. I instantly grabbed the tablet from my nightstand to check on Willow, but she was still sound asleep. Another crash followed quickly after and I tossed the tablet down onto the mattress and slid out of my bed - a movement that was getting increasingly harder to do as my baby bump grew bigger and bigger, impeding my movements.
I moved over to the door and listened again for any more sounds as I slipped on the silk robe I had found in the closet that night after taking a long, relaxing soak in the tub.
The guys had spared no expense when they filled my and Willow’s closets. Both were crammed full with every item of clothing either of us could ever need, all fancy designer brands and luxury fabrics and patterns. With Edward I had always had nice things to wear, as had Willow, all so we could play the perfect wife and daughter that Frank expected us to be, but what we’d had had been nothing on the luxury Kai and Hunter had surrounded us with. I grimaced every time Willow wiped her sticky hands down the front of one of the pretty summer dresses or beautiful designer t-shirts I dressed her in. Hell, I was scared to wear most of what they had bought for me, for fear of what my clumsy self would spill all down the expensive garments. But the guys had insisted I shouldn’t even worry about any of it whenever I rose the subject. They assured me money wasn’t an issue and that they were happy they could provide Willow and I with what we needed. It wasn’t that I wasn’t grateful for it either. I just wished they hadn’t spent quite so much. Willow and I would have been happy with a few items from the discount store to tide us over. We were both just grateful to be free of the tyranny we had survived in for so long. Anything else was just a luxury.
Still, I did marvel at the feel of the spectacularly smooth silk robe as I slid my arms into the long, cool sleeves. I had never felt anything so divine wrap around my body. Except maybe Nico, or Kai.Oh fine!Hunter too.
I opened my bedroom door just a sliver and peered out into the dimly lit hallway. It was empty, but the dull thud of something hitting the ground hard soon followed, making me jump back with a start.
Hunter and Kai’s rooms were out on the landing, further away so I knew it was unlikely they could hear what I could. The house was so huge, I doubted the sound would carry that far. I realized that meant the sounds had to be coming from Cam’s room, which I was pretty sure was a few doors away from mine along the corridor. No one had told me as much, but I had seen Cam come and go from the room in the time we had been there.
He was still avoiding me and now my daughter too, as much as possible. The day we went to the zoo Willow had worked hard to make him a picture. It had been of Dozy, Cam’s dog. When she was finished she had demanded Kai take her in search of Cam so she could give it to him to cheer him up, which Kai had agreed to, taking her out to Cam’s workshop.
I don’t know what happened when Willow gave the picture to Cam, but ever since he had been working twice as hard to avoid seeing either of us, slipping out to his workshop early in the morning before anyone was up and not coming back ink to the house again until late at night when he could slip in unnoticed. It hurt me that he was behaving that way – that he wanted to actively avoid me – but I also understood the pain he had to be dealing with. Not only had he lost his brother. He had lost his twin – a person who had been a part of him since they were in their mother’s womb together. I couldn’t imagine how he would ever learn to live with that, but I was determined to do all I could to help him.
I distantly heard what sounded like Cam crying out and all hesitation left me. With one last glance to the tablet on my bed to make sure Willow was okay, I slipped from the room and hurried down the long hallway to Cam’s room.
I pressed my ear to the cool wood of the door and listened as I held my breath. Inside I could hear Cam. It sounded like he was talking angrily to someone, then there was another crash, this time something hitting the door I was pressed against. I gasped and jumped back, then looked around me as I tried to decide what I should do. Should I pretend I don’t hear anything and just go back to my room? Should I wake Kai or Hunter? I didn’t know, but then another sound from Cam, which sounded a lot like he was in pain and I moved forward. I needed to go to him. Whatever was happening, he was clearly in pain and I couldn’t leave him that way, not even for as long as it would take me to get to the others and wake them.
The room was pitch dark when I slid the door open enough to slip inside. The light from the hall showed a lamp in pieces on the floor in the entryway and I realized that had to be what had hit the door just a moment earlier. I skirted around the pieces and slipped inside, trying to blink through the darkness to get my bearings. I hadn’t been in there before and didn’t know the layout.
“Cam?” I whispered loudly, not wanting to startle him, but wanting him to hear me. The sound of his voice had stopped, and the room around me was silent, as I walked in and felt my way along the wall to my right. I was itching to flick a light on, but didn’t want to alarm Cam by doing so. “Cameron? You in here? I just wanted to check on you. I heard the…” My words were cut off as hands wrapped around both of my arms and I was forcefully slammed back into the wall so hard my teeth rattled as my skull crashed against the plaster.
A cry of pain and fear slipped from me as I fought to see in the darkness, but any that followed were muffled by a hand over my mouth. The other hand moved from my arm and went to my throat, pinning me hard against the wall and stopping me from making another squeak.
My eyes widened as panic filled me. Not only could I not make a sound. I couldn’t breathe and I clawed at the hands holding me as it became more and more terrifying.
Images of Clive and Edward both holding me in similar positions assaulted me, mixing with the very real terror of the moment.
As a fog descended over me and my fight died out until all I could do was weakly push at the hand around my neck and over my mouth, I realized the silhouette of the person before me was Cam. I couldn’t see his features in the darkness, but I could see enough to know it was him holding me and choking the life from me.
“C–Cam!” I gasped desperately. I understood he had to be dreaming – seeing me as some threat that had been taunting him in sleep. I knew my only chance was to somehow wake him up before he choked me out, or worse.
With one last outpour of strength I reached my arm out beside me and scrambled around to get my hand on anything I could use to wake him up.
My hand landed on some kind of can, my fingers brushing against the cold metal. I fumbled for it until it was firmly in my grip, then held it up before me. I had no idea what it was, but it had a spray nozzle, which I slipped my finger over. I aimed it at Cam’s face, but kept it low not wanting to spray anything hazardous in his eyes, then I sprayed it, realizing quickly by the smell that it was just anti-perspirant.
Cam growled angrily, but dropped his hands from me so he could rub at his face. I crumpled to a pile on the ground, the can still aimed in his direction before me.
“Cam!” I cried as loud as I could. My throat was throbbing and my voice hoarse, but I pushed through it, determined to wake him up before he came for me again. “Cam it’s me! It-It’s Maddie!” I pleaded between coughs and gasps to breathe.
At the sound of my cries, I saw his silhouette stumble backwards, then he was shaking his head and rubbing at his face.
“What the…?” he uttered quietly, then he turned and walked away. Seconds later a lamp beside the bed flicked on, illuminating the space with a dull glow, and showing me the devastation Cam must have caused before I walked in there. As well as the lamp from the other side of the bed smashed in the doorway, a dresser had been overturned, its contents spilling from ruined drawers. The chair, which must have sat at the desk before, lay on its side and looked a little bent out of shape, and the contents of the top of the desk were spread on the carpet before me.
“Mads?” Cam gasped as his eyes landed on me. “What are you doing in here? What happened? Fuck! Did I hurt you?” he asked all at once as he ran around the bed, but stopped a few feet away from me, as though he dare not get closer.
