AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“I…I’m okay,” I tried to assure him, but the words were croaky and shaking. I automatically touched my neck in an attempt to ease the pain I felt there, but that just drew Cam’s eyes to it.
“Motherfucker!” he hissed. “I’m so sorry. You’re neck. I…I did that. I hurt you,” he panicked as he took another step backwards from me. I didn’t like him moving away, so I tried to get to my feet, but adrenaline was running rampant through my body and my legs were shaking so hard I couldn’t get them to cooperate.
“No Cam. I’m f-fine.”
“Don’t move. Fuck!” he cried as he moved his eyes from my throat to my stomach. “The baby! What have I fucking done? Stay there. Let me get the guys. We should call 911. I’m so fucking sorry, Maddie,” he cried, his eyes glassy with tears as he pulled at his hair and shook with his panic.
It was enough for me to jolt my body into cooperating. Before he could run from the room I forced myself to my feet and threw myself the few steps to get to him.
“Cam, you didn’t hurt me. I’m okay. Just breathe for me, please,” I told him as I wrapped my arms around his waist and tried to hug him.
“No!” he snapped as he pulled back and held his hands out to hold me back. “You sh-shouldn’t come near me. I hurt you. I’m dangerous. I shouldn’t even be in the house with you and Willow.”
I pushed past his hands and wrapped my arms around his waist again, this time locking my hands together at his back so he couldn’t stop me from holding him. I lay my head on his chest and could hear how hard and fast his heart was thudding. He was terrified.
“Sshh now,” I soothed, just like I did with Willow when she was upset. “Just breathe and calm down. I’m right here and I’m fine. You’re not going anywhere.”
“Maddie, I mean it. I can’t be near you. I could have fucking killed you,” he argued, but he didn’t push me away this time. He just stood frozen; his arms held up like he dare not touch me.
“You didn’t though. You wouldn’t. I trust you, Cameron, even if you don’t trust yourself,” I told him. “Stop fighting and just hug me back, you asshole,” I added with a tearful laugh. Yes, he had hurt me that night, but I knew he never meant to. He had been trapped in some terrible nightmare. I knew that he would never hurt me on purpose.
“I’m no good for you, Mads. Not anymore. That’s why I’ve stayed away,” he sighed, but he did relax and wrap his arms around me.
“I don’t want you to stay away from me, Cam. I’ve missed you so fucking much,” I whimpered tearfully, my voice wavering as I formed the next words. “I’ve missed you both, but Ev is gone. I’ll never get to hug him like this again. Don’t make me lose you too. I can’t. I can’t lose you again.”
“I missed you too. We both did. He talked about you all the time,” Cam sniffled as he ran a hand through my wild hair gently, his other wrapped tightly around my back, pressing me into his hard body. “But he’s gone and I’m not the same guy you knew. I’m no good for you. I’m no good to anyone.”
“Cam, you know I love you, but that is such a crock of shit,” I sighed as I pulled out of his arms and looked up into his shocked eyes.
“What?”
“You heard me,” I replied as I glared his way a little, straightening my spine as I did so. “I call bullshit on everything you’ve just said.”
“It’s not bullshit. It’s the truth. I’m broken, Mads. He was my other half. I don’t know what to do without him at my side.”
“Ev would kick your ass if he heard you talking like this,” I told him firmly.
“Yeah well Ev’s not here! I am! He got his stupid ass killed and left me the fuck alone!” he snapped.
“Yeah, you are Cam!” I agreed. “You’re here and you’re alive. I know it hurts like fuck without him, but you’re not alone. You have Kai and Hunt. You have family who miss and need you. You can have a whole damned life ahead of you if you just try. Ev would want you to find a way to keep going and you know it.”
“I’m messed up!” he roared angrily, then all of the fire seemed to leak from him as he deflated and fell back to sit on the foot of his bed. “How can I move forward when everything in here is so fucked up?” he asked tearfully as he pointed to his head.
“You’re asking the wrong girl,” I laughed flatly as I sat on the bed beside him and wrapped my arm around his back to comfort him. “I’m pretty messed up too, Cam. I have no idea how either if us can fix that, but I do know we have to try. We have to keep moving forward and find ways to deal with what’s happened so we can have a future. I don’t know what it looks like or where either of us are headed, but I do know after all we’ve been through, we definitely deserve some happiness and peace.”
“I’m so fucking sorry I hurt you,” he whispered as he stared ahead of him at nothing in particular.
“Was it a nightmare?” I asked softly.
“Yeah. Night terrors they called them at the hospital. They’re so real. They don’t happen so often now, but you should never come in here again. I really could have killed you.”
“Can’t you get some help? Medication or maybe talk to someone about it all?” I pushed.
“Now you sound like fucking Hunter,” he growled.
“They’re worried about you, Cam. I am too. You’ve been trying to handle this on your own for too long. You have to let others help you,” I pleaded.
“I’m not sure I want to be helped,” he sighed.
