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Willow was sat in the middle of a huge bed which had been created in the center of the room. It was made up of mattresses which lay on the floor, covered with comforters, pillows, and blankets. Cam was laid out at her side, his head rested on one arm which was behind his head, and clutched under his other arm was Willow’s giant stuffed Lion from the zoo. Hunt was laid out on her other side, laid on his side so he could listen to her as she chatted away to him about the stuffed chimpanzee that sat between them. Kai was beside Hunt, also on his side, leaning over Hunt so he too could be a part of the animated conversation. The three of them were all in pajamas, or the shorts and tank they slept in, just like Willow, and Tarzan, her favorite movie, was playing on the TV.
“Okay,” Nico announced as he walked in through the other door from the kitchen. “It’s bed picnic time.” He was carrying a tray laden with sandwiches, chips, veg sticks and cookies. Sam followed him in with another tray filled with cups of coffee for the guys and juice boxes for Willow. They both took seats on the mattresses as the guys sat up, all of them forming a circle around the food which Sam was laying out just like a picnic.
“You can be the picnic princess,” Kai told her as he placed a plastic tiara on her head, and Willow beamed with delight. She didn’t look sick at all, apart from the fact she was a little pale in color. In fact she looked like she was having the time of her life surrounded by them all. She was the absolute center of attention and she loved it.
My heart was pounding hard as it hit me just how amazing these guys were for my child. They cared about her and they made her feel safe and happy. She had family here. It was everything I had ever wanted for her.
“Do I get to be a part of this picnic?” I asked, making my presence known as I stepped forward.
“Mommy!” Willow squealed as she abandoned her juice box and leapt to her feet, running straight into my arms.
“Hey peanut,” I greeted as I held her tightly in my arms.
“I gots sick and Mr. Roar gots all dirty. He had to go to the spas to get all clean but Sam said he’ll be back really soon,” she told me animatedly.
“I heard, honey. Are you feeling better now?” I asked as I brushed her hair from her forehead and pressed the back of my hand to her skin.
“Her temperature’s good. Nico went out first thing to buy a kids thermometer and we’ve been checking it. She’s been good for the last couple of hours,” Kai told me as he got to his feet and approached me.
“I feels all better, but I likes the floor bed. Can we keep it, mommy, please?”
“I think the guys might want their living room back at some point, peanut,” I chuckled.
“We can keep it for today, okay munchkin?” Hunter told her as he looked over to us. “Come and eat some lunch. This picnic needs its princess back,” he added as he waved her over.
“Are you coming, mommy?” she asked as she looked up at me.
“As if I’d miss out on our first bed picnic,” I replied with a smile.
“Then you gets to be the princess,” she pulled her tiara off and handed it to me with a toothy grin.
“Come on, picnic princess,” Kai teased as he took my hand in his and led me towards the others. Hunter and Kai both helped me get my whale sized self sat between them, and I put my tiara on.
Sam handed me a paper plate covered with jungle animals and a mug of steaming coffee, and I smiled to him gratefully. Willow chatted away excitedly about what was going on in the movie, which she knew by heart from how many times she had watched it, as we all drank our coffee and nibbled on the goodies Sam had prepared.
I watched Willow closely, feeling like a terrible mother once again for not being there when she needed me the night before, but she showed no signs of whatever had afflicted her the night before as she happily chewed at a sandwich, followed by several more.
The guys were all watching her too, paying attention to every word she told them and making her laugh constantly. They all looked exhausted and a little worse for wear from whatever Willow had put them through the night before. Not one of them had taken the time to style their hair as they usually did, not even Nico who had been out that morning to buy the thermometer. I knew how stressed they would all have been having to deal with a sick kid. None of them had experience in the situation as far as I knew and Willow wasn’t great at being sick. It usually meant a lot of hysterical crying, but they had coped. They had taken care of her and gotten her through it. Not only that, but she was also happy. After a night of very little sleep and a lot of vomiting she was smiling and joking.
Any doubts I had about how these men would manage my children if I were to have a relationship with any of them, were quashed as I sat there. It was clear to see that they all cared for Willow very much and I was sure that would be just the same for my child yet to come.
Of course I had always known what good men they all were and I didn’t expect anything less of them really. I knew they would be good to Willow. Nico had always been great with her when I brought her into the office and the others, well I knew them better than I knew anyone. I always trusted them to keep Willow safe and to be good to her. But she wasn’t their child and we weren’t even in a relationship. I never expected them to step up as they all had. I never expected them to treat my child just as I had always wished for her biological father to, but they had. They still were and I suspected, given the opportunity, they always would.
It didn’t help me make the decision about who and what I wanted any easier, but it reassured me that if I did choose to start something with any of them, that it might not be another terrible choice for my life and for that of my children. How could bringing a man, or men into their lives, who would love, protect, and care for them, be a mistake?
CHAPTER 20
MADDIE
I was anxious as I sat in the waiting area of the doctor’s office. Cam was in his first appointment with the therapist he had agreed to try. He had wanted to come alone, but I pleaded with him to allow me or one of the guys to tag along, and he had finally relented and allowed me to be there.
He’d already been for an appointment the week before with his old therapist, but he’d walked out of the session just ten minutes in and flat out refused to go back. He just hadn’t liked the therapist, and he didn’t feel able to open up with her, so he felt it was a waste of time.
Luckily, Kai hadn’t given up. He had spent hours researching the best therapists in the area for Cam’s needs and found this guy – Henry Cash. I had joked that it sounded like the name of an action hero, but his credentials were good, and he was also a veteran himself, so the guys felt he would be able to understand what Cameron had been through overseas.
So far so good. Cam had been in there for fifty minutes so that had to be good, right?
He’d been working hard since he promised me he would try. After our rushed visit to the hospital he had been making the effort to leave the house with the guys. He went with Hunter to the store for milk the other day, and when Kai took Willow for ice cream two days ago, Cam had tagged along. He was trying harder to join in with us all in the house too. It had been almost a week since my scare and Willows night of illness, and in that time we had been spending a lot of time together, Me, Willow, Nico and the three guys. I knew Cam struggled at times, and needed to retreat for some peace, but he'd come back after a while. He was smiling more and hiding in his workshop less. I knew there was no overnight cure for all he was dealing with, but I was just so relieved he was trying to come back to us.
