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“Who do you want with you, sweetheart?” Nico asked. I looked between them, wanting to have all of them, but I knew I couldn’t have that.
“Kai,” I selected. “You’re the calmest in a crisis,” I added by way of explanation. I knew he would be the best one to keep me calm.
“We’ll all be close by, baby,” Hunter tole me as he leaned in to kiss my lips chastely.
“Will you let Sam know what’s going on? Someone needs to explain it to Willow too.”
“I will. I’ll head back when they take you in. I can tell Willow and get you some of your things,” Nico volunteered.
“The baby will need clothes too. I have some in the nursery, though they’ll probably be too big,” I sighed worriedly.
“I’ll grab them anyway,” Nico assured me.
“And we’ll order more. There must be stores that sell clothes for premature babies, right?” Cam asked.
“We’ll figure it out. Don’t worry about anything. We’ve got Willow and we’ll make sure we have everything we need for the baby too, okay?” Hunter assured me.
“I love you guys so much,” I told them all emotionally. Before they could respond a nurse bustled into the room with a gown, for me to change into, and a small mountain of paperwork. Nico and Hunter handled what they could on the paperwork as Kai and Cam helped me to change into the gown.
I was a little calmer as I climbed back into the bed, confident Doctor Andrews knew what she was doing. It would be scary to have my baby in the neonatal unit, in one of those glass boxes, but at least he or she would be safe.
“Okay Maddie,” Doctor Andrews announced as she walked into the room, followed by a younger woman in pink scrubs who rolled a scanning machine with her. “I have the O.R. ready to go. Just a quick sonogram first and I’ll see you in there,” she explained.
I thanked her again, and then she was gone. A nurse came to find out who was accompanying me, then took Kai off to change into scrubs.
“Okay, let’s see what this baby is up to,” the sonographer laughed as I covered myself with the sheets and lifted up the gown so she could spread her cold gel all over my bump. Hunt, Cam, and Nico all stood in a line beside me, watching the screen anxiously and touching me in some way. Hunter was near the foot of the bed so he had a hand around my ankle. Cam stood in the center, and was holding my hand in his, and Nico was at the top, running a soothing hand over my hair again and again. I was just so glad they were there with me.
The wait was beginning to make me feel even more anxious. I was at the point of thinking it was bettered to just get the baby out of me. At least then his or her life would be in the hands of healthcare professionals.
“Breathe, sweetheart,” Nico reminded me as I stared at the screen, desperately wanting to see my child appear.
“It wasn’t supposed to happen like this,” I told him as my eyes met his. “This baby has been through enough. I didn’t want them to come into the world with stress too.”
“He or she will be just fine, and once we get them home we’ll show them so much love they’ll never remember that the beginning they got was a little rough,” Hunter assured me.
“He’s right, Mads. Once he or she is here, they’re gonna have the four of us to always protect and keep them safe. We’re gonna love this baby just as much as we love you and Willow,” Cam assured me, making me cry yet again.
“Damn right,” Nico agreed.
I smiled at them all, then turned my attention back to the screen. I could see my baby, just as we did on the other sonogram I had not long ago, but the sonographer was studying the screen with a look that concerned me.
“Is everything okay?” I asked as calmly as I could.
“I just need to grab the doctor. I’ll be back in a moment,” she said, and then she had raced from the room before I could ask her anything else.
“What’s going on?” I asked as I looked back to the guys.
“She probably doesn’t know what she’s doing. She’ll be back,” Hunter assured me, but I didn’t miss the look the three of them shared. They were worried too.
The sonographer hurried back in a moment later, followed by Doctor Andrews.
“Doctor, what’s going on? Shouldn’t we be getting into the operating room?” Hunter asked with some annoyance.
“If you could just give me one second to look at the sonogram,” the Doctor halted him. I watched the sonographer flick through images she had captured, and I saw the doctors face change just fractionally. She tried hard to hide it, but I knew. I knew what she was going to say before she turned to me with sad eyes and opened her mouth.
Tears filled my eyes and my heart began to pound hard and fast in my chest as she started to speak. Her words sounded hollow, like she was stood at the end of a long tunnel talking to me.
“Maddie, I’m so very sorry, but the baby is no longer moving and we can’t pick up a heartbeat anymore,” she began. “I’m afraid your baby has died.”
