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Kai opened the door and we all walked inside. As soon as the door was closed behind us, I could hear Willow laughing excitedly from further inside, and my eyes instantly filled with tears once again.
“I don’t think I can d-do this,” I sniffled as I looked up at Hunter. How could I explain to my daughter that she had a brother, but that he was gone before she even got to see him? How could I even get the words out without breaking down myself?
“You’re not alone, Maddie. We’re all here,” he reminded me.
I nodded and freed my hand from his to swipe at my tears. I needed to find some strength from somewhere. More than anything I wanted to hold my daughter, and that meant I would have to tell her the truth of what had happened too.
I started towards the kitchen, guessing that was where Willow was, but stopped when I saw Emilia walking towards me. Her hands were clenched in front of her, and she looked unsure of how I would act with her.
“Hey,” she greeted quietly.
“Hi,” I squeaked as my throat tightened and more tears threatened. In an instant Emilia hurried to me, wrapping her arms around me tightly.
“I’m so sorry, Maddie,” she whispered as she held me in a crushing hug. I buried my face against her shoulder and sobbed. She was the closest thing I had to a friend and I was glad she was there. Sometimes you just needed another girl’s shoulder to cry on.
Emilia just held me tightly while I cried. Eventually I managed to stem the tears and step back, wincing when I saw the huge wet patch on her shoulder.
“S-sorry,” I sniffled, “I’ve ruined your sweater.”
“I don’t care about that. How are you? How do you feel?” she asked as she caught my hand in hers and studied me.
“I feel okay physically. I just….I didn’t w-want to leave him. I had to leave him there, Emilia, all alone.”
“He’s not really there now, Maddie. He’s already gone to a better place,” Emilia told me as tears trickled down her cheeks too, and her words wobbled.
“She’s right, Mads. He’s with Ev already, I know he is. They’ll both be up there together, looking down at us,” Cam soothed.
I nodded, knowing if I said another word about Noah, I would break and not be able to put myself back together again.
“Is Willow okay?” I asked instead.
“She’s fine, Maddie. Ty and Sam are helping her paint a birdhouse we bought at the park yesterday. Sam’s promised he’ll put it in the tree in the yard when she’s done,” Emilia explained. “She’s been so good for us and she slept just fine last night. I stayed in her room with her in case she woke up upset, but she was good.”
“Thank you so much for being here,” I told her as I gave her hand a squeeze.
“Of course, hun. We’re family.” She looked behind me, and I followed her gaze to Nico, who smiled sadly.
“I need to see her,” I declared.
“Let’s go and find her, sunshine.” Kai appeared at my side and wrapped his arm around my shoulder, leading me towards the kitchen. I smiled sadly at Emilia and then released her hand.
She moved over to Nico and I heard them talking quietly as we walked away. I was glad she was there, for Nico’s sake as well as my own. She and Nico were so close and I knew he’d be relieved to have her there to talk to about all that had happened.
“Mommy!” Willow spotted me the moment I stepped into the kitchen. She jumped down from her chair at the table and ran to me excitedly.
She was dressed in denim dungaree shorts with a sunny yellow t-shirt and her hair was in two little curly bunches, a huge smile on her face as she hurtled towards me.
I dropped down to my knees on the floor so I could hold her properly, and she launched herself at me.
“I missed you, peanut,” I told her as I wrapped her in the tightest hug I dare give her. When she wrapped her arms around my neck and held me just as tightly, the tears, that I had been fighting to hold back, broke free.
“I missed you too. Where have you been?” she asked.
A sob slipped from me at her question, because I didn’t know where to begin answering it. I bit my lip to stop any more from following, but Willow had heard it. She pulled back and placed her hands on my shoulders as she looked at my tear stained face.
“Why are you sad, mommy?” she asked as she moved her hand to my cheek and wiped at my tears there.
“Something very said has happened, honey,” I told her as calmly as I could.
