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“I’d love to come,” I say, a goofy grin on my face. I look at Charlotte, expecting her to be smiling the same way I am, and my heart sinks. If I’m not mistaken, Charlotte’s flashing a look at Tessa meant to convey something along the lines of “What the fuck are you doing?”
From Tessa, Charlotte looks at me and smiles thinly. “Yeah, if that works out, that’d be great. The future is kind of blurry for me right now, though, so we’ll have to see how it goes.”
Fuck. My cheeks feel hot. “Oh, yeah, no worries. If it works out, great; if not, all good.”Fucking hell.I need to calm down and stop envisioning myself dating Charlotte in the future. Clearly, dating me, long-term or otherwise, isn’t on Charlotte’s To Do List, so I need to scratch it off mine, too. That’s easier said than done, though. At this point, I feel like my heart is going rogue.
“Can I pet Lucky now?” the little girl in Charlotte’s lap, Claire, asks me.
“Yeah, let’s give it a try. He’s stopped shaking, so maybe he’s finally ready to meet you.”
“Me, too?” Zach asks.
“Sure thing. Actually, let’s try this on the floor, okay? That might be less scary for him, if we’re all down low, at his level.”
We’re done eating now, so I can’t imagine Tessa or Ryan would object. But when I look at them, they’re both smiling and nodding, so I take Lucky to the corner of the dining room and plop onto the floor with him. With a little help from Charlotte, both kids scramble from the table and sit, cross-legged, next tome—and the minute little Claire starts cooing to Lucky, my furry buddy shocks me by leaving my lap and going straight to her.
“Look, Mommy!” Claire shouts excitedly. “Lucky’s not scared of me!”
“He likes you,” I say. “Thank you for being so gentle with him. Zach, do you want to pet him, too? Be gentle, and I think he’ll be okay.”
The little boy joins in petting Lucky, and to my thrill, Lucky seems absolutely thrilled by the attention he’s getting.
“Can Rudy meet Lucky now?” Zach asks, referring to Ryan and Tessa’s blue-eyed husky. Throughout our meal, the big, white dog has been obediently sitting at Ryan’s feet on a leash to allow Lucky time to acclimate to his new surroundings before adding another dog to the mix.
“I tell you what,” I say. “Why don’t we let the dogs say hello to each other, off leash, in the back yard? I think that’d be the best place for that.”
Ryan and Tessa both say that sounds like a fabulous idea, and the whole group heads outside.
When Ryan brings Rudy over to Lucky, still on his leash, the big dog is friendly and gentle. So, we decide to let him off leash next and see what happens. When freed, Rudy immediately strikes “play pose”—front paws splayed, bottom raised high, happy, goofy expression on his face, and tail wagging—and Lucky immediately returns the gesture. It’s something I’ve never seen him do before, and I’m blown away. I was certain Lucky would cower or run to safety behind my feet and only interact with Rudy after some gentle coaxing, but for whatever reason, Lucky’s totally comfortable with this big dog. In fact, just this fast, the two dogs are now running off to frolic all over the spacious yard.
“I’ve never seen Lucky playing with another dog like this,” I marvel. “Wow! This is incredible!”
While my eyes are still trained on Lucky’s frolicking, happy form, Charlotte slides her hand in mine and leans her cheek against my shoulder. “It makes my heart soar to see him having so much fun,” she says. A certain tenderness in Charlotte’s voice makes me bend down and twist to glimpse her face, and when I see the glimmer in her green eyes, I can’t resist leaning in and kissing her.
“Can I run around with dem?” Zach asks.
“Me, too!” Claire shouts.
“It’s up to Auggie,” Ryan says.
I break from my tender kiss with Charlotte, blushing. “Yeah, go for it, kids. Lucky’s obviously not scared of any of you.”
When the kids sprint off to play with the dogs, Ryan looks between Charlotte and me, briefly, a grin on his face. “Why don’t I get the fire pit going and make some cocktails?” When we all agree that sounds like a plan, Ryan says, “Make yourselves comfortable. I’ll be right back.”
This is my idea of heaven. Hanging out with good people. Sitting around a fire pit, chatting and sipping a damned good cocktail while happy kids and dogs run around like maniacs on a nearby lawn. The icing on the cake? I’ve got my arm around Charlotte, and she’s snuggled into me the same way Tessa’s snuggled into her husband.
I look at Charlotte next to me and admire the way her beautiful face looks when illuminated by flames from the fire pit. She’s stunning. Truly, the most magnetic woman I’ve ever been with.
Shit.
A deep-seated yearning envelops me. A sense of dread. I’m gonna be so fucked at the end of this, and I know it. But what’s there to do about it? Shut myself off from all the fun I’m having now to protect my future self from getting hurt? That seems like cutting off my nose to spite my face.
My phone buzzes with an incoming FaceTime call that pulls me from my thoughts. It’s my mother.
“Okay if I take this here?” I ask the group, holding up my phone. “It’s my mom. She’s been trying to reach me all week.”
Everyone encourages me to answer the call here, rather than going somewhere else, and when I connect the call, and then show Mom my surroundings—the three people sitting around the fire pit with me and the kids and dogs running around the nearby lawn—my mother “oohs” and “aahs” with delight.
I turn the camera back to me. “What’s up with you?”
