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When Auggie gets up from the bed, I scooch closer and kiss Zach’s cheek. “Goodnight, cutie pie. I love you.”
“I love you, too.”
“Door opened or closed?” Auggie asks, standing in the doorframe.
“Open, with da hall light on and also will you turn on my nightlight, so I won’t get a nightmare?”
As Auggie gets everything in place according to Zach’s specifications, I say, “I’m sorry you’ve had a nightmare. That’s no fun.”
“I get lots of dem,” Zach says. “Mommy, too.”
“Your mommy gets nightmares?” I ask, surprised by the revelation. It’s the first I’m hearing of it.
Zach nods solemnly. “Lots and lots, I’ve heard Mommy screaming really, really loud in her bedroom. One time, I went to see if she was okay, but da door was locked. So I knocked really hard and I yelled, ‘Are you okay in dere, Mommy?’ And den Daddy opened da door and he was really sweaty and he said, “Go back to bed.’ And I said, ‘Is Mommy okay? Did she have a nightmare, like me?’ And Daddy said, ‘Yes, she was just having a nightmare, buddy, but she’s okay now. Go back to bed.’ But den I heard her screamingagainanother time, so I came back and knocked again, anddattime, Daddy opened da door and—”
Auggie and I can’t take it anymore. We explode with laughter, interrupting Zach’s rambling, clueless, adorable story. Unfortunately, Auggie and I made the mistake of locking eyes, and that’s when we both couldn’t hold back our laughter. If Ryan makes Tessa scream half as loudly as Auggie makesmescream in the throes of passion, it’s no wonder poor little Zacky was worried sick about his beloved mommy. I’m positive I want to be a mommy one day, but one thing I’m not looking forward to when that happens is being in the middle of amazing sex and having to stop and open the door to my worried kindergartner.
“Why are you laughing?” Zach asks, scrunching his cute little nose.
“Because you’re very cute and brave, and I’m so, so proud of you for wanting to take care of your mommy,” I reply, forcing myself to pull it together.
“But why were youlaughing?” Zach says. The kid’s not stupid. I didn’t provide an answer that makes a lick of sense.
“Hey, do you want to know a cool trick to keep nightmares away?” Auggie says, plainly changing the subject. “If you do this trick at bedtime, it makes it almost impossible to have a nightmare.”
“Really?”
“It’s not perfect, but only because nothing’s perfect, but it works almost every time.Do you want to know how to do it?”
Zach nods excitedly.
“Okay, so after you get snuggly into bed, and the lights have been turned off, you pull the covers up and sing yourself a silly song. You can also get someone else to sing one to you. Either way, it’ll work like a charm. But singing one to yourself works the very best.”
Zach crinkles his little brow. “Like ‘Wheels on da Bus,’ you mean?”
“That one would definitely work. But the trick works even better if it’s a made-up silly song. One you make up on the spot about your day, maybe.”
Zach’s little shoulders droop. “I don’t know how to make up a song.”
“Sure, you do. We’re all born knowing how to do that.”
“Weare?”
“Yep. All you have to do is let your mind wander and kind of float around. Think about something fun or funny, and let your mind go, and the words will tumble out.”
Zach looks thoroughly confused.
“I’ll show you,” Auggie says. “Did something silly ever happen to you?”
Zach considers the question. “Once, I spilled apple juice on da floor in da kitchen. And den Rudy licked it all up, so you couldn’t even tell, and Mommy said, ‘Thanks to Rudy, we don’t even need a mop!’” Zachary giggles at the memory.
“That’s perfect,” Auggie says. “A core memory. Let’s sing about that.” He pauses to choose his words. And then, he sings in a lilting, gentle voice, “I spilled some juice, cuz my arms got loose. But that’s okay, no need for a mop, not even a bucket, cuz Rudy came along to save the day andlick it.”
Zach and I applaud.
“That was amazing,” I say, and it’s the truth. Auggie wasn’t singing in a serious voice; he was simply joking around and having fun. But just that snippet made it clear the man can definitely carry a tune.
“Anudder one!” Zach says, his little face lit up.
