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“You’re still checking out tomorrow?”
“Yes.”
“Do you need a late checkout?”
I pause. “Actually, you know what? On second thought, I think I’m going to head to the airport and catch a flight back home now. I’ll sleep on my flight.”
“I’m sorry, it’s too late for a refund.”
“That’s all right. I expected that.” Suddenly, the thought of going up to that hotel room alone, when I thought I’d be spending the night there with Auggie, is too much to take. If I’mgoing to feel lonely and heartbroken, I’d rather feel that way on a flight headed home than in an empty, lonely hotel room in New Jersey that greets me with a warm bucket of sad, celebratory champagne.
Outside in the cold night air, I order an Uber to the airport. And while I’m waiting for the car, I swipe into my emails and tap out a reply to the job offer:
I’m thrilled to accept your offer. I’ll plan to be in Dallas for training on Monday. I’ll await further instructions and details regarding my travel, but for now, please let this email serve as my official acceptance. I can’t wait to join the team. Thank you.
I stare at my reply for a long moment without pressing send. I should be thrilled to send this.Ecstatic. But the truth is I feel sick. Lost. Detached.Rejected.
I stare up the street, hoping the headlights of Auggie’s taxi will magically appear.
I check my texts, hoping he’s sent me one that says, “I’ve changed my mind! I’m coming back! Don’t go anywhere!” But, alas, no such luck.
When my Uber appears in the near distance with no word from or sign of Auggie, I take it as my sign to stop being an idiot and to start acting like a responsible, mature adult. One who knows life isn’t actually a fucking fairytale. There are tradeoffs in life. Compromises. Prices to pay. And this time, the price of my dream job is living in New York and foregoing the chance to see what might have happened with Auggie and me. What we might have become.
And who knows? After graduation, he might decide to move to New York, if I’m still there. Or I might be able to get myselfreassigned to a shift based on the West Coast by then, if that’s what I want to do. Life is fluid. You never know. The only thing I know right now is that this is my dream job and I’d be felony stupid to turn it down, exactly like Auggie said.
I press send on the email, just as the Uber is stopping in front of me. I stuff my phone into my coat and head to the car with my bag and open the back door.
“Charlotte?” the driver says, as is protocol.
“Yes. Your name, please?”
“Eduardo.”
“That’s it.” I slide into the backseat. “To the airport, please. I’m starting my dream job.” It’s a weird thing to say, but I need to say it out loud to someone, and this guy happens to be here.
“Good for you. Congrats.”
“Thanks. I’m excited about it.” It’s not the truth, and I know it the second the words come out. But I have to believe, after the pain of this sad farewell has faded, the words will become true. Excitement will be mine. In fact, with a little time and distance from the sadness of tonight, I’m sure I’ll hardly ever think of Auggie, and his beautiful smile, and even more beautiful heart, ever again.
30
CHARLOTTE
Seattle
Two days later
I’m hungry.
Eagerly looking forward to chowing down on the two chicken tacos I’m carrying in a small paper sack. But even more than that, I’m excited to finally get to see what’s on Lloyd’s final cassette—the one that was stuck in his old video camera until about fifteen minutes ago. At least, that’s what I think it is, since it’s the only one not labeled. My hunch is Lloyd used to label his cassettes after filling them up and taking them out of his camera. Hence, my assumption he never got the chance to do that with this one, since its label is blank.
After finishing up all my packing and cleaning at the condo today, I decided to head out to my favorite taco place nearby, one last time—the one Auggie introduced to me; and on my way out my front door, I got the bright idea to grab Lloyd’s nonfunctional video camera and take it with me. There’s an electronics store afew doors down from the taco place, and I figured I could ask someone there to take a look.
Lo and behold, it took all of two minutes for the guy behind the counter to extract that stuck cassette, unscathed. And now, here I am, mere moments away from finally getting to watch it.
I reach my front door, fumble with my keys briefly, and head inside—and when I step foot into the empty space, my shoulders droop. There’s no Lucky greeting me. He’s still at Tessa’s for the week while Auggie’s in California. And worse, there’s noAuggie. No Auggie coming home any minute from school. No Auggie lighting up every room he enters with his bright smile and sparkling blue eyes. No Auggie making my heart go pitter-pat and setting my lady parts on fire.
I place the tacos onto my card table, along with the unstuck cassette, and run off to grab the functional video camera. The guy at the electronics store bought Lloyd’s broken camera from me earlier and said he’d buy the working one from me, too, so I’m planning to bring it to him tomorrow before leaving for the airport. Probably right after the building manager comes for this card table and chairs and my air mattress. As far as the stuff in the storage unit goes, I sold all of it yesterday to a scavenger dude—a guy who buys storage units, sight unseen, picks through them, and then sells whatever he can at flea markets. More power to him.
