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I’m not sure why I ever think I can keep something from her, even when we are miles and miles away from each other. “We… kissed?”
“What?” She takes a few deep breaths and I roll my eyes — she’s always been the one for dramatics. “And, how was it? Don’t leave me hanging!”
“It was good.” It was better than that, but I’d like to keep that to myself for right now. “He walked away without a single word and went back home. What the hell does silence mean after kissing someone?”
We go back and forth about what it could all mean before my stomach rumbles and I look down at my food, which is most likely cold by now, and sigh. “I’m getting off to eat. Love you.” I stab the Mac and cheese with my fork, groaning at the coldness when it hits my tongue, then toss the food in the trash.
As I peel my dress off my hands come up to my chest, wondering if this is what Brent would’ve done if he’d never gotten distracted from the moment. The idea of his hands touching me has me closing my eyes as I explore myself, imagining they’re his hands instead of my own.
My body reacts immediately to the thought and I gasp at the arousal. If this is the reaction I have without him here, what would it be like if he were? I’d be under his complete control. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for him if he were standing here right now, begging to brush a finger over my breasts and ignite that spark I desperately need.
Is he in his room right now, imagining me there with him? Just the idea has a wave of pleasure flowing through me, but I snap my eyes open and shake the thought away. I need to get my head back in the game, no matter how wrong it feels now — I came here with a job to do, and I intend to do it.
Unless I don’t?
Chapter 9
Brent
I come to a halt inside the entryway when I find Nathan standing at the window in the living room, arms crossed over his chest. “Son, I thought you went upstairs.”
He glances at me briefly, a hint of amusement in his eyes, and shakes his head. “Figured being mad at you isn’t a reason for me to miss out on a meal.” His mouth twitches with a smirk as he walks past me and heads into the dining room, where his plate still sits untouched. “You coming, old man?”
It’s weird that he’s making jokes now, no hint of anger in his eyes anymore like there was only moments ago. My gaze falls onto the front door, wanting desperately to run back to Sydney, but I follow Nathan into the dining room instead and take a seat.
The silence in the room as we eat gives my head the chance to conjure an image of Sydney and how she immediately reacted to me. I’m not sure what came over me tonight, but standing in front of her and staring at her in that dress— I couldn’t control myself. Her lips were as silky smooth as I imagined they would be and the lipstick she wore tasted like cherries.
I’ve never been fond of cherries, but after that kiss? They might be my new favorite fruit.
Nathan clears his throat from the other side of me, his eyes glistening mischievously. “Everything okay, Dad?”
I nod and take a large bite of my steak, choosing to stay silent. Does Nathan know something, is that why he’s acting weird now? If he was the one who interrupted that kiss, there’s a high chance he saw everything out there. My hand itches to touch my lips, which still tingle from the kiss, but I force it to stay on the table.
Nathan might be curious, but there’s a chance he has no idea what’s going on and I need to keep it that way. The moment I touch my lips is the moment he knows what’s going on and I’ll never hear the end of it. He studies my movements for a few minutes before looking down at his plate, eating the last few bites on it, then he stands up with a yawn.
“I’m going to head to bed. Night.”
I’ve still got my steak, so I continue slicing through it until it’s all gone. My eyes snag on the plate of food that should’ve been Sydney’s and my heart runs cold at the sight of it. Couldn’t I have let her enjoy a meal before forcing her out of here? What if she doesn’t have anything decent to eat in the guest house?
I could take her plate over to her, even though it’s cold now, but that would require me communicating with her after that soul-consuming kiss. It was like I was being lifted high into the air with each brush of her lips against mine — nothing like I had ever experienced before.
There’s a weight sitting on my shoulders, knowing I’m having these feelings towards Sydney that I never felt with Renee. I loved Renee, there was never any doubt about that, but there’s something about Sydney that I never experienced with Renee. Sex has never been on my mind all the time, but that’s all I could think about as I breathed in Sydney’s scent.
Her body molded into mine perfectly, making me think about what it would feel like if it were bare beneath me. If it weren’t for the interruption, I’m certain I would’ve pulled her into the guest house and stripped her out of that dress. The way she looked tonight was a stark contrast to the way she’s looked walking around the ranch and nothing could’ve stopped me from making a move.
Even though Renee would want me to be happy, I can’t help but get furious with myself for giving in to someone so easily. I chew a piece of steak aggressively out of anger, clamping down on my tongue in the process, and I wince at the contact.
This is what I get for being in my head. Instead of finishing my food, I push the plate away and stand from my chair with a sigh before reaching for my crutches.
The smartest thing to do would be to head upstairs to bed, but I find myself heading back out onto the porch. I can’t help but look out at the guest house, noting the light that’s shining in the living room, and study it through the curtains. Sydney’s shadow forms just outside of it as she comes to a stop. Is she looking at me like I am her?
What did she do once she got inside?
With the way she pushed herself into me during that kiss, I have no doubt that she felt the same exact things as I did. Maybe the pleasure was too much to handle and she went inside to take care of it. The thought has the front of my pants tightening and I have to adjust myself.
She’s getting into my head again, just as she has been, and I’m not sure how much longer I can fight it — not when I have the image in my head of how she would pleasure herself without me there. The way she’d sound with my name spilling from those plump lips as she brought herself to release. I’m sure it would be music to my ears, if the soft and angelic voice she has is any indication.
My fingers twitch at my side, remembering what her creamy skin felt like under their touch, and I growl in frustration. This isn’t what I’m supposed to be doing, not by a long shot, but I can’t stop. She’s embedded her way into every inch of my headspace and it’s nerve-wracking.
