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Before I can storm over to the guest house like an idiot, I make my way back into the house and head to my room. It seems as though my go-to response is sleeping off whatever this feeling is that’s coursing through my system. Is this how it will always be when she’s here?
* * *
Her stay went by a lot faster than I had thought it would and now I’m watching as she slips into the front seat of her car, smiling politely up at Nathan as he helps with her things. I’ve made it my mission to avoid her ever since the kiss we shared, but all I feel is regret for that when she looks over at me and the smile drops from her face. I can’t imagine what she thinks about me now after the stunt I pulled.
She nods at something Nathan says, then shuts her door, the sound echoing through the air and causing my spine to stiffen. It wouldn’t take much to walk over, say my goodbye, but I keep my feet glued in place — she could get the wrong idea. As she pulls away from the house, I keep my gaze locked on her car until it disappears over the hill, then I let out a loud groan.
Nathan’s footsteps have me snapping my gaze over to him and I glare at the smirk he’s sporting. “Why are you looking at me like that?”
He shrugs, the smirk getting bigger with each passing minute. “No reason. Think you can help me out today? There’s a few more small things to get done before the space is clean for the rebuild.”
And there’s that — I haven’t had the heart to tell him I’m not sure if we have the money for a rebuild. I know I’ll have to spit it out eventually, but he’s been pretty excited about getting it started, and did all the clean-up. I hate letting my boy down. He might be eighteen now, but that doesn’t mean he’ll be less upset just because he’s older.
“Yeah, I’ll meet you down there in a minute,” I mutter, then turn to the house and head inside.
I’m not sure why, but I felt the need to dress a little more appropriately for Sydney’s departure and now the polo I slipped on is making my neck itch. After I scratch the spot, I bring my hand over my chin and test out my facial hair — a clean shave might be a good idea.
God, she has me worrying about what I look like now. Any other time I’d never worry about how often I shave, or the kind of clothes I wear, but some weird part of me wants her to be impressed. As if I would ever have a chance with someone like her in the first place.
After I slip on a pair of jeans and a sweatshirt, which feels much better than the khakis and polo I had on, I head down to where the barn used to stand and get to work with Nathan. He wasn’t wrong, it’s mainly small things that need to be done, so it doesn’t take us very long — maybe an hour or two — to get it all cleaned up. I’m sweating bullets by the end though and I have to catch my breath as I sink to the ground.
Nathan comes next to me and places a hand on my elbow, helping me so I don’t fall down, then looks at me with concern shining in his eyes. “Are you okay?”
I nod while taking a long swig of the water I carried out with me. “I’m good, just a little more than I’ve been doing around here lately. I’m out of practice.”
He chuckles and slaps me on the back. “I’m sure you’ll be up for it in no time. Just focus on getting better.”
As he walks away my gaze finds its way to the guest house, wishing that Sydney would’ve stayed so I could watch her from a distance. I may have been trying to avoid her ever since the kiss, but I never said I stopped watching her. I’ve been pleasantly surprised by the small smiles I’ve let loose throughout the last week, watching as she got chased by a group of geese close to the lake.
Or how gently she cares for the horses when I catch her around them — as if they are her own. It makes me especially happy that she’s already gotten so close with Nathan, something that I’ve always wanted to see in a woman. If a woman can’t be close to my son, I don’t ever give them the time of day — and knowing she does is another issue in and of itself.
While Nathan carries the rest of the trash from the ash pile over to the cliff at the edge of the property, I stand on shaky legs and head back into the house. Elevating my leg for a little while would probably do me some good after all we did just now. It never would’ve been too much for me before, but after months of not having to worry about it, I’m a little rusty.
I’ll get back on track eventually, I just have to be patient with my progress. Nathan brings the wheelbarrow back to the empty space, sitting it along the fence, then follows me into the house. He’s right by my side as he helps me over to the couch, grabbing a pillow for me and putting it under my leg. I watch him carefully, seeing the look of concentration on his face as he tries his best to make me feel comfortable and nothing but love burns through my heart.
He’s the most caring kid I’ve ever known and I’m proud to have raised him.
Nathan clears his throat and nods toward the guest house. “So, you like her, huh?”
His question stuns me speechless — how could he have possibly known? I’m not hiding anything as well as I thought I was, which means it’s only a matter of time before Sydney figures out where my head has been too.
Chapter 10
Sydney
I’m a mess of nerves as I make my way through the office, done with yet another week on the Dudley ranch. It’s been days since Brent kissed me hungrily outside the guest house, yet no amount of scrubbing my lips can take the ghost of his away from them. I give Alicia a small wave when I pass her desk, then make a beeline for Heath’s office before he can bother me in mine.
I knock on the door loudly, only shoving through it when he grants me access, and come to a stop in front of his desk. The cologne he’s wearing nearly chokes me and it takes all my willpower not to gag, but I manage to conceal my reaction. He stares at me intently and I fidget in my spot — there’s no way he can tell what I’ve been up to this week, right?
“Anything new this time?” he asks, holding a hand out for my usual notes. I place the spiral notebook in his hand with a sigh and shake my head, eliciting a frown from him. If he doesn’t learn to smile more, those wrinkles on his forehead are only going to get worse. “Sydney, this is unacceptable. Do I need to send someone else there to finish this?”
I’m shaking my head frantically and he glares at me, forcing me to slow it down and take a deep breath. Shit.
I give him a small smile and clear my throat. “Uh, no, Heath, that won’t be necessary. I’ll have more next time.” With winter being here next time I visit, I’m not sure what I could do on the ranch, but I guess I’ll have to figure it out. There’s no way I’m letting anyone else take this project, especially if it means not going back to see Brent.
His lips tip up briefly before falling just as quickly, making it feel as though I imagined it, and he nods curtly. “One more chance, or you’re being taken off this project.”
I’m silent as he waves me out, holding my head high as I make my way through the long hallway filled with other workers, until I get into my office.
